Just Cause

"This Clone is Inferior"

Do you enjoy long walks on beaches, being surrounded only by water and vast amounts of greenery? Do you believe that holsters are unnecessary and that a real man always carries his guns out in the open regardless of what he is doing? Do you like to feel invincible even when faced with an army of enemies? Do you enjoy the idea of scaling the sides of cliffs without the use of your hands? If so, then read on, because Just Cause offers all of this and more.

Grand Theft Auto (Good):

The Revolution Is On!: You are Rico Rodriguez, you are at the center of a guerrilla uprising that will up heave the police state of San Esperito. Your connections are the most powerful of criminals. They send helicopters to bring you vehicles, they send helicopters to transport you to safe havens, and they send numerous allies to help in attacks on police bunkers. Its like you don't actually have to do much of anything at all, but you will be spending a considerable amount of time doing it.

Cutscenes: They are very well rendered and help to set the mood for the continuing battles you face. Thankfully, they don't use the in-game models so the characters look crisp and almost life-like at times. If there were a way to watch the cutscenes and never have to play the game, I would be a much happier person at the moment.

Premise: The ideas that exist in Just Cause are admittedly excellent in concept. You can actively work on your relations with the criminal organizations you cohort with, increasing the relationship to unlock safehouses and new weapons. A main element of the game is trying to take over the entire map in order to be the most dominant faction in the world, which was one of the fun parts of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Its the execution where everything proves to be an issue.

Checkpoints: When you come close to the area you are about to do a mission at, a checkpoint activates so that you can immediately return there in case you fail. That doesn't excuse how long these missions tend to take for no good reason, but at least its something.

Just Cause (Bad):

Expansive, Empty Spaces: Ok, so the spaces aren't empty, but by the time you make it off the first little island, you'll already have no interest in seeing another tree or sandy beach in a video game for the rest of your life. The worst part is, every other of the 20+ territories are the exact same way. That isn't to say that the areas where civilization exists aren't designed adequately, but you see so little of them compared to the amount of time you spend looking at endless trees and water that you soon appreciate the decision other games made when they limited the size of their worlds.

Silence Is Golden: The music in Just Cause would be alright if you weren't hearing the same beats looped over and over. They would also be better if they weren't so belligerent. The music beats you over the head with its existence and the only way to be free is to mute it completely. The environment sounds are actually quite well done when not being stomped into submission by the music so muting is highly recommended.

These Are Your Instructions: Its not often that I will go out of my way to criticize the instruction manual, but there are some real gems in it. They try so hard to make the game sound "cool", then they throw in information like "Numerous vehicles have been stolen over the last few months, indicating a sharp rise in hijacking crimes. Eye witnesses state that thieves step up to the vehicles, press the TRIANGLE button and then get in and drive off." As you can see, this is not only ridiculous, but its also completely misguided to give out such information. Now kids know that all it takes to hijack a vehicle is to run up to it and press the TRIANGLE button...and they said that Grand Theft Auto was corrupting our youth, Just Cause is teaching our kids how to become criminals!

Time To Wait: As if the unnecessary amounts of mundane landscape wasn't enough, you spend a lot of time doing nothing. When you call a helicopter for any reason, you light a flare, and wait. Should you be calling the helicopter to pick you up and drop you off elsewhere, then you have even more waiting to do because the helicopter doesn't just drop you off, you're made to parachute to the ground which equates to more waiting. Even running around seems like waiting.

Locked On Target, Sir: Uh oh, lost it. If the enemies wouldn't move around so much, the auto-targeting system might actually work. Unfortunately, the enemies do tend to move around and the auto-targeting doesn't tend to work very well.

I Got Here As Fast As I Could: The distance between missions gets ridiculous. So much so that they actually incorporated a counter that decreases the closer you get to your destination and increases the further away you get. Don't get me wrong, the counter is useful, but its also normally displaying a number over 1000; which is, at minimum, a number 900 larger than you want to see.

I'm Feeling Dizzy: There is something about the camera positioning that makes you feel like you are perpetually tumbling down a flight of stairs. You try your best to gain some control, but one more turn sees all your hard work be for naught. I can't pinpoint why it is, but considering what a horrible mess they made of the rest of the game, I can say they were hard pressed to keep the games quality consistent.

I Will Survive: You may think that with so many problems, you would be dying left and right. However, the mysteries this game holds know no bounds, because you are actually near invincible. You can take a ridiculous amount of bullets and walk away with barely a scratch. Your energy gauge automatically increases for you, which means you can survive a long gun battle with your health at 10% and come out of the battle with your health STILL at 10%. However, roads are your worst nightmare because motorists will blindside you out of nowhere, killing you instantly.

Mission One - Drive Safely: No, that isn't really the first mission, because if it were you'd never progress in the game. Cars have two speeds in this game, stopped and uncontrollable. Unlike any other respectable game that has vehicles you need to drive for a majority of the game, Just Cause makes every vehicle a chore, and the word "fun" never crosses your lips unless its preceded by "no".

I Think I Can See My Next Destination From Here: Ever look at a globe and try to pinpoint the exact place you want to go? Even if you're in the right general area, chances are you're still many miles off. That is how the map they give you makes you feel. And to add icing to the cake, you can't zoom in at all but you CAN zoom out. They had all bases covered.

Run x Infinity: Walking? You won't be walking. You'll be running everywhere you move and it still won't get you there fast enough. Once Rico is set into gear, he speeds along at a steady, plodding pace and never wavers. I guess you have to give the guy credit for having convictions. A sprint button would have been nice though.

Doggy Paddle: While Rico loves to run, there are times where he is forced to do otherwise. That doesn't mean he doesn't still attempt to run during these times, it just means that he logically shouldn't be able to. Now, I know what you're thinking, you're so used to going the same speed all the time that you won't be sure how to handle going any other speed, it may prove to be too much. Lucky for you, Rico applies the same standards to swimming that he does to running, except he goes even slower. As an added bonus, the camera focuses almost solely on the water, making it very difficult to tell where you're going. If you aren't excited to run out and buy this game yet, just wait, theres more.

Motorcycle Mishap: Unlike any other game with any basic standards, falling off of a motorcycle in this game doesn't lead to you being thrown in any sort of direction. No, you are simply launched directly upward, a spray of red explodes from your body, and you land on the ground with slightly less energy than you had before.

Strategically Impaired: If you believe that sneaking into areas, hiding behind objects for cover, and staying out of harms way when possible is an important part of a large free roaming game such as this, prepare to be disappointed. Enemies come out of nowhere, you won't want to sneak anywhere after you spend ten minutes just getting to a mission, and running away is basically the only way to stay alive. Good thing for you, Rico only knows how to run, so they were really thinking of your best interests on this one.

Two Guns To Rule Them All: There are so many different guns in this game it will make your head spin. You'll never use any of them though. Your character starts out dual wielding pistols that have infinite ammo and they kill nearly every enemy more effectively than any other gun in the game. You'll foolishly believe that a machine gun may be more effective, because at the rate it fires bullets it can't possibly be less useful than dual pistols. Let me reassure you, as the machine gun not only runs out of ammo quickly but it does considerably less damage than your dual pistols. It would be foolish NOT to use your dual pistols in nearly every situation.

Capture The Flag EXTREME: Ever played capture the flag? Ever play capture the flag against infinitely respawning enemies? Ever play capture the flag with the rule that you have to blow up three barricades before you can capture the enemy flag? Ever play capture the flag where only one side has a flag to capture? No? Well its a good thing that Just Cause exists then, because now you can.

I've Fallen But I'm Getting Up: Don't you hate it when you're playing a game, you run off the edge of a really high cliff, and meet a horrible gravity-related death? This game decided to fix that problem for you. I have yet to find an instance that a firm leg planting or a forward roll couldn't get Rico out of. They really went out of their way to make this guy unstoppable and it shows.

Save Points: I was two hours into the game before I realized save points even existed. Once I did realize they existed, I felt two things. One was relief because it turned out I didn't have to complete a mission every time I wanted to save. Two was hollowness, because I wasn't sure how to feel about being able to roam around the entire game without fear of not being able to save. That almost makes me WANT to roam around and I already know that isn't a good idea.

There Are A Lot Of Vehicles: You won't be driving many of them though. Not because the driving is atrocious, which it is, but because getting into a car that isn't parked somewhere is a task you aren't likely to want to do. Between the risk of being run over and the fear that you may stumble upon a car that handles worse than the last one you were in, there is no particular reason to use any cars other than the ones provided to you.

Don't Worry, They'll Just Beat Themselves: The enemies in this game sum up the entire experience quite well. Clumsy, stupid, inaccurate, and overwhelmingly boring. They are as likely to shoot at a non-existent enemy in a direction completely opposite of where you're standing as they are to shoot at you, which are odds that work in your favor, but not in a way that adds any level of satisfaction to your decimation of them. Also, in an extreme twist of fate, the closer you are to them, the less accurate they become. So the easiest way to avoid getting shot to death is to run at the person shooting you. This is truly the feather in the cap for this game.

Glitches: Running through trees will be a common occurrence in this game. In fact, you'll find your character clipping through all sorts of objects. Trying to put objects between you and an attacker is a crap shoot because sometimes bullets will pass right through solid walls. During chases, the enemy vehicles seem to have a 50% chance of getting stuck on a random object about five minutes in. None of this should be surprising at this point though.

San Esperito In C Flat:

Graphics: They aren't terrible, just uninspired. Taking one look at the game leaves a lingering thought that the developers of Just Cause knew that they had a really cool idea and that they needed to rush through the project in order to take advantage of the open ended gaming market before Grand Theft Auto 4 hit store shelves. As such, the graphics and entirety of the rest of the game suffered horrible consequences.

Game Length: The main storyline is rather short, only spanning about twenty missions, which is good if you just want to play through the game to beat it and be done with it. However, the numerous side missions help to expand the play experience considerably. Its just unfortunate that nearly all of the side missions are repeats of each other and none of them are particularly fun.

Cast of Characters: Picture a drug dealer in your head. Now picture a revolutionary. Now picture an attractive female who is the sister of a gang leader. Now picture a gang leader. If what you envisioned seemed rather generic to you, then this category will fit right into your expectations. If what you envisioned seemed exciting, then this may be yet another negative to heap onto the pile.

Speaking Of Parachutes...: Apparently, parachutes are cool. Why else do they play such a prevalent role? Jumping off a motorcycle? Trying to catch a ride? Trying to get somewhere quickly? You can do it all thanks to an infinite supply of parachutes. Parachutes, its how you get there.

Buy It, Rent It, or Forget About It?: Unless you are compelled to experience first hand the incoherent mess that is Just Cause, you should forget about it. Otherwise, give the game a weekend rental. Alternatively, you could always put your money in a blender and make a milkshake out of it. Both will have similar unpleasant effects.

What Is The Maximum You Should Pay To Buy?: Four Dollars, the game isn't unplayable, its just not very good. I don't hate Just Cause, but there are far better games in existence to waste much on a clunker like this one.

The real travesty about Just Cause is that there is already a Just Cause 2 in development, with a planned release date of 2009. Now, I'm not going to condemn this game before its released because there is the possibility of it being good. After all, Just Cause displayed some solid ideas that would have worked with the right execution, its just that said execution was abysmal. If Just Cause 2 takes the Just Cause engine and throws it out the window, starting completely fresh, then maybe there is some hope for it. Barring that, there seem to be too many lingering problems that exist in Just Cause to be fixed adequately in a second installment.

- - - - - - Where The Points Were Lost:
- Who runs like that? Seriously
- Where does Rico put all those guns if he doesn't know how to use a holster?
- Why am I constantly being shot at in territory I own?
- Where do these seemingly infinite enemies come from and why do there need to be so many of them? And why do they magically disappear just because I raise a flag?
- So many sights to see, too much area between them to make it worthwhile
- I can't wait to finish this mission to be able to move on in the game...and never have to play this mission again

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 12/18/08

Game Release: Just Cause (US, 09/27/06)