Zone of the Enders

"Ender's Game? Nope, not even close folks...."

What in the world is an ender? This was the question that first popped into my scattered brain when I borrowed this game from a friend. Seeing as his collection was almost as sparse as mine, I figured I'd pick it up. As soon as I popped it into my console I was drawn in. The graphics and story are amazingly done. The opening scene was a bit long, but I didn't really care because a) I was thirsty and needed some kool-aid, and b) it sucked me in. Unfortunately, they never do tell you what an ender is. :-(

In the opening sequence we're introduced to the diabolical (and hot for a pink haired cartoon girl) Viola, part of the invasion force of the space colony Antilia, orbiting the great ball in the sky, Jupiter. They are in search of a new kind of robot, sort of mech frame for all you mech warrior fans out there, but here it's simply called an orbital frame. The new frame is called Jehuty (don't ask me how to pronounce it, I say it differently every time) a super powerful, butt kicking human shaped frame that in short does just that; kicks butt.

We are then introduced to young blue haired Leo and his friends, colonists aboard the apparently doomed Antilia. (I guess everyone in this game has the same hair stylist, as they are topped with every color of the rainbow) Seems they were caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing, and they are all tied up and being questioned. Leo's friends aren't all that forgiving, and instantly give him up as being the one that forced them to come along with them on whatever it was they were doing. After some heartless taunting by the guard and even his so called friends, a huge robot with impeccable timing falls through the roof and crushes the guard along with (oops) his friends, and our Leo escapes, accidentally letting himself into an orbital frame, and oops again, it happens to be the Jehuty that pink headed Viola and her consorts are in search of. After some initial training by the ever helpful (if at times annoying) frame computer ADA (say it with me folks, ''aydah''. There, that wasn't so hard was it?) you are thrown neck deep into the story.

Now if I was Leo I'd hop my little pansy butt right outta that frame and go back to hiding behind crates, but I'm not and besides, that would make the game boring now wouldn't it? He receives a message from the cargo ship Atlantis, telling him that he must deliver the orbital frame to them in order that it is used to fight the bad guys (cue Viola and her evil cohorts) on Mars. Why they care about mars you don't find out, and frankly I don't care. At this point I want to go shoot some stuff, so off we go into battle.

After flying through a hole in the roof (I wonder if it's the same one the frame that crushed his friends made?) you are on top of the factory complex, where you start your mission to save the colony. But don't worry folks, your coffee will still be warm when you're done, as this is an alarmingly short game.

If it hadn't been for the cop out lame ending, I would have given this story a 7 or maybe even an 8, but after all the cinematic buildup during the game you can't help but feel a bit let down at the end.

The controls are fairly simple, and they automatically switch between long range and short range, doing away with the fevered ''Oh crap I'm shooting short range missiles at the guy in the next town'' syndrome that many mech warrior players are familiar with. In short range the left analog stick controls your movement, X descends, triangle ascends, square attacks and circle grabs your opponent and throws them all over the screen, which can be quite fun. Pretty much the same in long range mode, except that the D pad now selects sub weapons and the square fires them. The shoulder buttons control your blocking, rushing (or bursting as it's called) target lock and target unlock. My personal favorite is standing still while pushing the burst button and then hitting square, this releases a huge energy ball that always makes me think of mega man, but I'm not sure why since I've never played it. All in all the controls are quite easy to use, which is a pleasant suprise given how complicated other games of this nature tend to be at times.

The premise of the game is to fly around carrying out missions to get you to the Atlantis safely. Throughout the entire game your being sent hither and yon to find programs for your suite (gives you more weapons) and passcodes to let you into restricted areas. There's a bit too much of the metatron ore scattered around which restores your health, so that you don't even need a memory card to beat the game. If you die while fighting a boss (which are pretty darned hard I might add) you can just continue. And if you die at any other point in the game then you suck, because it is quite possible to take out all of the squads of bad guys without ever getting killed. You could probably do it without weapons, by just throwing them around if you wanted to. This fact isn't helped at all with only 3 versions of the bad guys flying around. In fact, game play can get a bit boring and repetitive, even on hard setting there isn't a challenge unless you're going up against a boss.

Every time you leave an area, when you return all the bad guys are back, which can get a bit annoying at times and fighting them gets boring fast. Randomly throughout the game you get SOS calls from the towns asking for you to kill the bad guys. You can skip those missions if you want, they have no bearing on the story, but if you get good ranks on all of them you get a different song at the ending. (big deal, bunch of nothing) During the early part of the game you pick up an annoying passenger, Celvice. She alternately encourages you and shouts at you when you accidentally blow up the civilians you were supposed to be saving. (for the record, they should have ducked) I tried kicking her out of my Jehuty, but apparently the ''Kick out the annoying girl'' button on my controller hasn't been installed yet. Oh well. Also when you finish the game a vs. mode is opened up, which is almost more fun than the game itself.

The graphics are stunning, with a rock solid frame rate making even the most chaotic of fights smooth as honey. The Jehuty and all the other orbital frames are outstandingly rendered, with cool thruster effects, and you can even see the energy pulsing throughout the outer skin of the frame. Definite eye candy. Although I must admit that the story is a bit over complicated and poorly dubbed. After all, what 14 year old speaks with the vocabulary of a language professor? Add to that the annoying voice of our linguistically gifted friends, and you may be tempted to lose just to shut them up.

During the game there's a techno background music thing going on, which can get a bit annoying as well, since it tends to change depending on what's going on in the game (ie fights or just scouting around) and there's no transition, it goes from soft and calming to ''BLAM BLAM BLAM BROOOOOOO!'' in a split second. Not to mention I tend to spend the first 3 seconds of a battle recovering from a near heart attack. The actual sounds of the battles are your typical whoosh and bam type sounds, nothing spectacular, although the sounds weren't directional in my surround sound system, all explosions sounded like I was right in the middle of them, whether I actually was or not.

All in all, I give the game a 6/10. As another game in the spectacular series of Konami games, this one fell far short of the mark. Poorly designed missions, easily defeated and non varying enemies and an overly complicated story are definitely holding this game back. It is entirely too short as well, only taking me about 6 hours or so to finish. The voice actors are barely average as well. And while the graphics are stunning, the music is mildly annoying, but not bad as background music goes, although there are times when I'm convinced that the little foreign girl singing is making fun of me. But the Dr's say they are going to adjust my meds to take care of that problem. So if you find yourself asking, ''Self, should I rent this game? Or buy it?'' Then my recommendation would be to rent it, play it, beat it, and forget it. (just don't forget to return it when you're through)

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 10/21/01, Updated 10/21/01