X-Squad

"About as stealth-oriented as a pit bull on speed..."

When I got this game, it looked promising. As a fan of stealth-oriented games, such as Metal Gear Solid, SOCOM: US Navy SEALs and Winback, I expected a nice weekend of sneaking around, maybe strangling a few guys, or at least using some kind of silent weapon. What I GOT was Duke Nukem, only less entertaining.
The first thing I noticed that made me wonder about the game's so-called ''stealth'' element was that the weapon you start with is an unsilenced .45 pistol. Hmmm... I wondered, Maybe I can find some sort of silencer, or perhaps a pillow to shoot through to muffle the blast... No such luck. It appears that in this game, all that ''stealth'' means is ''You can crouch.''
Anyway, after I beat the first mission, I was taken to a screen where I could choose weapons for the next mission. Fully expecting to see some kind of suppressed gun, I was disappointed to see a flamethrower, a riot shotgun, and a rocket launcher. Now, I have nothing against these weapons, but they generally have no place in a stealth game, people. At this point I actually took the game disc out of my PS2 to make sure that this was the same game that promised ''a whole new take on the action/stealth genre'' I suppose this is correct if by ''a whole new take on'' they mean ''This game completely bastardizes.''
But anyway, enough of my rant, let's get to the review.

Gameplay: 3/10 - 7/10
This is where you decide. If all you want is a mindless shoot-em-up, X-Squad gets a 7 out of 10. If you're like me, and bought this game because you wanted a solid stealth title, it gets a 3 out of 10. Gameplay consists of running around, shooting baddies with loud weapons, and finding switches to flip, which is the modern equivalent of a key-quest. I was never stumped by any puzzles, since, well, there are none, nor was I struggling with any bosses. All you have to do to win a boss battle is run around with your finger on the trigger whilst pointing the business end of your gun in the general direction of the boss. This is, all in all, a simple game.

Story: 2/10
Story? HA! The only explanation to the story that I could find was on the back of the box. Basically, terrorists have taken over a military complex, which seems to happen quite frequently in the video game world. Anyhoo, X-Squad is called in to save the day. On a completely unrelated note, I just noticed that the characters slightly resemble characters from The Matrix. This realization gave me as much, if not more, excitement as playing the game did.

Graphics: 8/10
Okay, in the year 2000, these were decent visuals for the PS2. And since I rate graphics by the time period the game was released in, rather than by current standards, this category gets an 8.

Sound: 3/10
Hah. I turned the music off, since it sounds like a hamster got loose on a turntable and started running around on the LP, making it skip. As for the voice acting, I truly believe that EA found a starving 4 year old on the side of the road and gave him a Happy Meal, on the condition that he write the script to X-Squad free of charge. At one point in the game, an enemy ran up to me and said, ''WHO'S WINNING NOW, STUPID?'' I laughed so hard I dropped the controller and died in the game, and almost died laughing in real life. Unfortunately, the rest of the voice acting and dialogue is just as bad.

Replayability: 1/10
Honestly, I had trouble finishing this game the first time. It was repetitive, simple, and an all around bad experience. I would not like to be subjected to it again.

Buy or rent?
Rent, if you must. If you want a good stealth game, don't bother with X-Squad. Wait for Splinter Cell, or get a Metal Gear game. Personally, I bought this game from a friend for 15 bucks. Luckily, he included a memory card and a controller with the deal, so it wasn't a complete waste.

Final verdict: 5/10
A mediocre game. Period.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 10/03/02, Updated 10/03/02