Grand Theft Auto III

"It lives up to the hype."

Imagine that you were given the chance to live in an enormous crime-ridden city. This metropolis is split up into three massive areas, each one big enough to be its own city. The police force there pretty much turns a blind eye at most crimes. They don’t give a **** if you run red lights, drive like a maniac, or repeatedly ram your car into a fellow pedestrian’s vehicle. As long as you don’t mess with them, they won’t mess with you. So basically you’re free to do whatever the hell you want.

This, my friend, is Liberty City. Liberty City is the location of Grand Theft Auto III (GTA3), a massive ''crime adventure'' game that has finally brought the GTA series into 3D.

Now I’m sure you’ve heard all about Grand Theft Auto III. Hell, most of you have probably played it. The game has garnered a ****load of publicity since it was released in 2001. Senators and other high political powers have been *****ing about the game’s gruesome non-stop violence. The FBI even investigated whether or not the infamous DC Area sniper practiced sniping by playing GTA3. While most of these fools are full of themselves, it’s easy to see why GTA3 was given so much news coverage - it’s a vicious game.

The things you can do in Grand Theft Auto III are downright sick at times. You can chase old ladies into train tracks then watch the oncoming train mutilate them. You can have sex with a hooker, pay her, then get your money back by beating the living hell out of her once she leaves your car. If you are a homophobe, you can pull out your Uzi and bust a dozen caps into the heads of pedestrians that look and talk like homosexuals. That’s only the tip of the iceberg of what sick and disgusting things you can do in GTA3. If you ever have warped violent fantasies, you can probably re-live them in the game.

What’s so great about Grand Theft Auto III is that you are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want. If you would rather just go about torturing and/or killing civilians like I already mentioned, then you can do that. If you would rather follow the storyline, you can go through and attempt to beat all 73 of the game’s missions.

The game’s story follows a popular mob/gangster flick format. You are dragged into the world of gangs and crime and before you know it you are working for several of the big crime lords in Liberty City. The story is full of twists and turns, as well as betrayals and hilarity. Every time you complete a mission in the game, the story advances.

Playing through the game’s various missions is fun. Most missions revolve around you escorting someone to another part of the city or playing the role of a hitman. Although those two types occur most often, there is always some sort of variation to them. For example, in one mission you are sent out to kill someone. However, there is a unique twist to the situation. You see, the guy that you are supposed to kill is in a full body cast and he is being driven away in an ambulance. You need to go and ram into the ambulance as much as possible so your victim falls out of the back of the vehicle. In order to finish the job you have to repeatedly run over him in his full body cast until he’s dead. It’s one of the most enjoyable missions in the game, and it’s one of my favorites.

There are also missions that are completely different from the escort/hitman ones. In one such mission you have to go and pick up a bunch of porno mags before someone else gets their hands on ‘em. In another you get to street race with a few other sports cars around the city. The wide variety and variations of missions is astounding. They never get dull.

Okay, so you know that there are at least two things to do in the game:

1) Progress with the story and play by the missions
2) Wreak havoc on the city just for ****s and giggles.

Well, actually there’s a whole lot more different things you can do in Liberty City. For one, there are several ''side-missions'' (aka ''mini-games'') to play. Steal a taxi and you can play the role of a taxi driver. The taxi mini-game is very similar to Crazy Taxi‘s arcade mode. You are given a certain amount of time to pick up and successfully drop off as many citizens as possible before time runs out. You can also use an ambulance to be a paramedic, a cop car to be a vigilante, and a fire truck to be a firefighter. These are all great ways to make some extra $$$ and if you ''beat'' each mini-game you are given a special treat for your accomplishment. To quote a great man, ''They’re GRRRRRRREAT!''

Money is a vital part of the game. With cash, you can buy some pretty sweet ass weapons. Instead of having to use your measly little handgun, you can take a trip to the local Ammu-Nation shop and buy an Uzi, sniper rifle, or some grenades. As the game progresses, you will have access to even greater weapons like flamethrowers, rocket launchers, and assault rifles. Money is also required if you get busted by the cops or get killed in your own mayhem (to pay for jail/hospital costs).

Aside from the aforementioned side-missions/mini-games/whatever the hell else they’re called, another good way to make money is to steal cars and take ‘em to the crane. The crane’s job is to pick up cars and crush them. If you bring a car to the crane to get crushed, you will get some $$$. The amount of money you get depends on the car. Since there are so many vehicles in Liberty City, each one with their own unique characteristics and handling, it is easy to make money off the crane. Cars in great condition are worth more than banged-up cars. Vehicles of the law such as police cars and ambulances will also rake in quite a bit of dough. It’s entertaining just to send automobiles to the crane to see how much they are worth.

One of the most interesting concepts of Grand Theft Auto III is the game’s six star rating system. Basically, every time you commit a crime, that chances of you getting a star goes up. If you try to steal a cop car while the pig’s still in it, you immediately get one star. If you then kill the cop, you get another star. If you kill the next few cops that come after you, you’ll likely get another star. The more people you kill, the more stars you get. When you get up to six stars, all hell breaks loose. You’ll have a ****load of cops, FBI cars, SWAT team vehicles, tanks, and helicopters on your ass. It can get real ****ing hectic. Maybe that’s why it’s so damn fun to see how long you can outlast the law while you’re at six stars.

Now as much as I would like to say the opposite, Grand Theft Auto III is not a perfect game. There are a few minor problems that need to be fixed. For one, the game’s weapon auto-aiming system downright sucks. Let’s say some members of an enemy gang are shooting at you. Your first thought would be to shoot back at ‘em, right? Of course. So you push the auto-aim button so you can face and shoot the firer, but to your surprise it locks on to an innocent civilian. While you frantically try to get it to lock on to the enemy, you are still getting fired at. Next thing you know, you’re dead. The auto-aim system caused me many deaths in situations similar to that, and I’m sure it has pissed off countless more players.

Another problem I had with the game is that once you unlock all three sections of the city, many of the later missions will have you drive from one section to another. This wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t take so long to get from one area to the next. I would always get lost trying to find the bridge or underground tunnel that connected the areas, leading to much frustration and mindless driving on my part. While this problem can be fixed by memorizing the connector’s locations, it is still annoying at times.

And that’s about it in terms of problems facing the gameplay. Two minor flaws. That’s it. Crazy.

Visually, Grand Theft Auto III is respectable. Liberty City was designed to look just like a real city, and it turned out to be very impressive. The lighting and weather effects of the city are particularly great, as nothing beats running over hapless pedestrians while rain pours down and lightning streaks through the sky.

When I first started playing GTA3, the thing that amazed me most was the fantastic amount of detail put into the vehicles. If you hit another object, whether it is another vehicle or a building or anything, it will leave a mark on your car. If you get hit on the side, your door will get banged up and maybe even hang off its hinges. Get hit hard enough in the rear and your trunk will fly open (err, probably not the best choice of words there, eh?). The more damage your car takes, the better chance it has of blowing up. If it starts smoking heavily, you know it’s about ready to blow. When it catches on fire, you better get your ass outta there! I must say that I was very impressed with the attention to car accidents and the like.

Now there are a few problems visually, the biggest of which is the frequent draw-in. If you’re driving fast enough, the game will struggle to keep up with your speed and will have to resort to drawing in objects right before your eyes. This can be frustrating if you are just cruising along in your slick little sports car then all of a sudden a telephone pole pops up in front of you. You hit the pole head-on and your car flies into the air, landing upside down. While sometimes you won’t even notice the draw-in, other times like that it can be quite the nuisance. Other problems include blocky characters and funny animations, but those are not much of an annoyance at all.

As for the audio, well it’s ****in’ awesome. The game features a dozen or so radio stations that can be listened to at any time while you are driving a car. There are stations for just about everything - rock, pop, oldies, rap, and opera. However, the best station of them all is the sidesplitting Chatterbox talk radio. The station’s host, Lazlow, and the various people that call-in to the show are downright hilarious. I found myself changing the radio station to Chatterbox almost every time I stole a car. That’s not to say that the other channels are bad, ‘cause they’re not, it’s just that Chatterbox will totally rock your socks.

The game is also full of exceptional sound effects. Every single pedestrian on the street has something to say. The police also are very talkative. They will scream at you to ''FREEZE!'' and the guys in the helicopters will tell you to ''please give up'' while you are wreaking havoc. The game’s sound is just brilliant.

In the end, Grand Theft Auto III quickly became one of my most favorite games. There’s no doubt that you will enjoy it, too (well, unless your name is Joe Lieberman). The game is loaded with replay value, as even when you’ve finished all of the missions there are a ton of other things to do (such as try to get 100%). Playing for 100% will keep you busy for weeks, more likely months. It’s ****ing nuts. The bottom line is that YOU HAVE TO GET THIS GAME. Don’t let the small problems I mentioned earlier deter you from playing GTA3 - it’s incredible.

10

Best Feature - You can do ANYTHING you want.
Worst Feature - Auto-aiming system.

Author’s Note: I apologize for the profanity in this review. The constant swearing in the game must have made rubbed off on me. =D

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 03/23/03, Updated 03/23/03