PaRappa the Rapper 2

" Turn up that base, yo!"

Two fat black men are sitting on their steps to their apartment building. One of them has his mouth curled up onto a plastic comb covered in wax paper as to “lay down the beat”. Ba bu ba bu baaaaa! The second is seen moving his hands back and forth, showing his garish “bling-bling” and rapping on about his, “cryin' babies, dogs with rabies, and old ladies”. That's what rapping is all about, right dawg? So wouldn't a real rapping game feature something like that? Yes, it would, but the thought of it scares the crap out of me.

PaRappa the Rapper 2 is thankfully not the scary image of a cold desperate world I just mentioned. Like it's predecessor, the game is more heartwarming and happy experience without the cursing and violence seen in true rap. Hell, we're talking about the sequel to the game that had such lyrics as “In the rain or in the snow, I got the funky flow, and now I really got to go”. But unfortunately, this sequel won‘t produce the same cute, fond memories as the original. In addition, it's been out-muscled. You see, PaRappa the Rapper was the talk of the town when it had first come out. Now games can be based solely around music. After many rip-offs and incarnations, finally PaRappa is back, but he is no longer the buzz, all these new games featuring sound such as Frequency, and Amplitude have been outclassing it a million times over. Rather than trying to beef up the engine to combat these new rivals, Sony focused on PaRappa fans, and only them.

Although in these types of games the music is rather the focal part of the entire package, when you start throwing in washy colors, unlikable characters into the mix, and crap about noodles (dude, I like noodles!), it shakes the game up into some real bad mush: a madman Southern's vision of “purdy colors” and, in this case, fecal matter with the remnants of noodles. With Sony's infamous “flat style graphics” previous seen in the first game, we once again witness the pain and suffer of PaRappa turning around and *gasp* disappearing to only reappear once again to lay down a beat in order to save the world‘s food from turning into noodles. Yes, noodles! Many people would claim “ But that's the style Sony was going for”. That's a load of bull. It isn't a style. It is a cheap and easy way to include paper cut outs as main characters in order to push through a weak half-funny story about noodles. These are some of the worst graphics available on the PlayStation 2. I'm not about to keep quiet about this abomination for the eyes because it is “supposed” to look like this mess.

In general I will give acceptance to a new game paving the way for a hot up-and-coming genre such as music games. PaRappa the Rapper was one of these games that spawned the rip-offs. Although it had six stages and could be beaten in about an hour or two by average players, it was something we hadn't seen before. Here we are placed in practically the same world as the first, but this time there are eight levels. Oh eight instead of six may sound like a big difference, but not if you remember how insanely cool the songs for the original were. This time you have to sing about cleaning up noodles, cutting hair, and aerobics. Come on! Bring back the baking the cake, driving, and diarrhea. Now those were some freakin' awesome ideas. I can think of hundreds of better themed songs like “workin' on a construction crew” or “huntin' vampire dog-rappers”.

The dialogue throughout the game is extremely cheesy and appears to be as though Sony wanted the lines just that. If you have never played this series of unique games, expect a lot of speech like “cook the burger” or something so lame that it will just generally force you to grind your teeth and read a PlayBoy to keep your masculinity. While the series does have a history of being cute or funny during both crucial and unimportant instances, the game enviably suffers through the dialogue.

As for the gameplay itself, you play by essentially hitting buttons. There is a picture of your head moving on a line of notes. Every time your guy's head hits a certain button (X, Square, Triangle, or Circle) you will have to immediately tap the button. In the end I finished all the levels perfectly, so it isn't too difficult. In fact, it's pretty much the same game I played last time. It would have been nice if Sony had made more complicated songs to make the game more intense and extreme. I mean it was targeted for people who had played the original.

Although I am extremely tilted by the fact that Sony made the game and it would really be popular in Japan, I still have to complain about how kiddy this title has become. It went from being fairly cool to a little kids game about people who think they are rapping but our obviously making themselves look like fools. They just need to come out of the closet over at Sony and make a street PaRappa The Rapper. Now that would be a good game (but, of course, slightly scary - zoinks, street thugs!).

Wow, the music. What to say about the music? Well, it is the worst of the series so far (that includes Um Jammer Lammy mind you). Sometimes the raps are so lame that they give the impression that Sony really didn't care if their songs are even adequate. I myself can come up with better lyrics than these, and I'm not semi-talented at anything (and that includes the dirty deed). Surely Sony knows how to write music; I have seen them accomplish such a task in their other games. Oh well, some things just stick to a series like a wet noodle, and for this series that would have to be the lyrics.

--On a final note to my beating drum of mellow peace and relaxation, I'm going to finish with a cheesy rap that will rule the nation. PaRappa's not cool. Chop the tomatoes, in the shack I don't want, this game back. Chop the tomatoes. Sell this game. Oh no! I Gotta believe! -- I have left you with a little rap I composed to mirror the insanity and pure stupidity of the developers.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 06/27/04, Updated 06/28/04