Monopoly Party!

"Destroying friendships since 1935."

Monopoly is a dirty, dirty game. If you don't have nerves of steel and a very cool temperament, playing against a guy like me would have you slamming down your hand, with your piece still in it, providing me with an instant default. And if you ask me, it's the true cause of Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise's split. It's also a frequent source of animosity and unfinished business, usually settled afterwards with Scrabble, Chess or an uppercut. The name of the game, whilst being an illegal and shoddy business practice in the real world, is encouraged and supported fully in the board game.

After rolling the dice to see who begins, up to four players take turns moving their piece around the game board attempting to land on different-coloured properties and other utilities. Once you buy a property, anyone who lands on that space owes you money. Collect a set of same-coloured properties and you may then start purchasing houses on them and finally hotels, earning more and more rent. The objective is to bankrupt every player so that you're the last man standing. Each player starts with $1500 worth of assorted bills, which is used to a) buy a property, b) pay rent to someone, c) pay tax or a fine, d) buy a house or hotel after collecting a set. Fines go straight back to the "bank"; an unlimited source of cash controlled by the AI. Sets range from having two to three properties in them and costs vary according to rent. A cheaper set of properties will mean less cost of housing but subsequently less profit when an unfortunate moves to your land.

Occupying a "Chance" or "Community Chest" (Communities have chests?) spot means you have to pick up the relating card and oblige to what the card orders you to do. It could be to pay a fine, move to a certain place or go to jail. Places are named after true-to-life English locales but the US version is included along with some wonderfully-designed original boards. Let's face it -- why land on Oxford Street or Tennessee Avenue when I can visit the Milky Way [Sci-Fi], Hades Plaza [Fantasy] or Nero Avenue [Ancient Monuments]? So now you can probably understand the idea behind the name "Monopoly". If you happen to have a full set when everyone else is struggling, you've got the game wrapped around your little finger. Even better, do you have a property card that another player needs in order to attain the complete set? Then you've got two choices: Firstly, deny any and every offer he or she makes or secondly, ask for a price so high it'll make their face turn red from anger. The best tactic is to simply purchase everything you land on, so you can sell other people the properties they'll need for outrageous prices. Ashamedly, Monopoly Party does not allow you to scheme with other players to try and take out a specific twit who refused to sell you Park Lane for anything under $1000. Nor can you mortgage all your stuff, give the money to your mate and tell the git who bankrupted you to "Get stuffed!" Apparently that is cheating.

Always one to feel strongly about rules (the REAL rules that is), the amount of selections available pleased me greatly. No longer am I required to watch some schmuck who lands on "Free Parking" claim my hard-earned tax money. I laugh at those who actually thought they could sell their houses back to the bank at FULL PRICE! For not one minute longer will I listen to the whinging of my acquaintance after dismissing the auction rule. What I DID have to listen to (until I realised I could turn it off) was the incessant commentary of the announcer. Sounding like a harsh(er), worse(r?) Tom Hanks, he just made life harder by telling me I had to go to jail when it was painfully clear already. I thanked the Heavens for my curious glance into the "options" menu. The game plays out with great haste with the X button down (and you'll be pressing it a lot), and allowed me to be entertained by what could have been a very slow ordeal.

Although it's a simple game, the graphics do enough to stimulate gameplay with sparkle effects and board piece animations -- only a fool would choose a shoe when he can move orc or elf or spaceship. Nicely-rounded figures and smooth textures compliment MP's appearance. The middle of the board bears significance to the theme; a massive towering castle surrounded by its moat and grass-green shrubbery defines the Fantasy board. Viewed at about a 30-degree angle directly in front, your character moves from right to left with ultra-clear visibility. The entire board can be seen from a bird's-eye view but illogically only when it is your turn. Super-high resolution means even a player in need of stronger glasses can see the prices of properties easily and everything needed to control the game is a few button taps away...again, as long as it's your turn.

Aside from wanting to choke the narrator with a novelty-sized pair of pliers, the sounds never intruded. I had to change the music from techno to rock after realising what I had been listening to for five minutes and that dice effect could have been better (kidding). Aside from the funky beat of "Rock Out" it really was rockin'. Distorted electric riffs and solos were the guests of honour but never quite compared to Slash or CC. Sounds of swordfighting, horseriding and the clink-clunk of chainmail enters the player's ears during a fantastical quest; children's laughter and noises of pottery fills the air of Ancient Monuments. The music is varied to suit all tastes. Though the tracks "Funkster", "Dance" and "Groovy" are all earnest, I guess I was too optimistic before delving into "Woo Yeah" which failed to deliver the goods. Finally, they needed some brats in the recording studio making whining sounds, complaining "Hey! That is SO a fair deal, you scum" & "$220 for Mayfair? Do I look stupid to you?"

Computer logic rarely jumps up and makes me notice, nor have I been as impressed with it as when playing MP. Sure, a few times I was offered $40 for a $600+ property which may or may not have been done just to piss me off, but the intelligence shown was remarkable. I became even angrier at my TV screen than I do with my friends(!) It may not sound like a serious issue, big I give big points for being able to achieve that. The interface is child's play to use and takes mere seconds to make a deal with one of the opponents. Playing on hard mode gives a lesson in frustration with "Steve" "Mick" and "Midus" as the tutors. From what I've observed they'll purposely make sweet deals with each other and make you fork out $800 to complete your lamo set. The amount of times I have thought "Don't accept that, you MORON!" and the daft player has welcomed the transaction with open arms... This being on hard mode though, after taking names on medium mode I never looked back. There should also be the option to say to the computer players "Look buddy, stop pestering me, I'm not giving you Guinevere Lane for anything under $700" & "You're not receiving my red unless you hand over that yellow, punk". Perhaps not in those words, but I get tiresome after being offered a measly sum every turn and having to refuse over and over.

Winning the game results in an attractive-yet-unfulfilling display of fireworks, with no hidden features, extra boards, extra hard mode etc. I can keep track of my win/loss record at the title screen but since I restart every time I foresee my destruction it merely states that I've won 12 games out of 12 attempts (instead of about 30). There's not much else to Monopoly Party, and I assume everyone (all two of you) who reads this review will have already played the real-life board game and thus knows how to use a PS2 controller to play it. Just be warned, this is the real reason behind the demolition of the Berlin Wall. This title is one which adds small-but-entertaining twists to a game that almost caused fists of fury between my brother and I, and we're 19. But it was his fault.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 10/21/04