Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex

"A Bitter End for the Crash Bandicoot Genre."

First there was Nintendo's Mario, then there was Sega's answer, Sonic and when the PlayStation arrived on the scene in the 90's, they must've felt a little left out. Their answer? Crash Bandicoot. I never played the originals, but they got a lot of lip service, and many claimed they were fun. Unfortunately, The Wraith of Cortex took a turn for the worst. It is one of the most ill-conceived, uninspired games to date. It's a close call, but it might even rank up there as the worst PS2 game that I have ever played.

STORY $$ 4/10 $$

Ho-hum! Bah-humbug! It seems that the elemental masks have been released and the evil Cortex has created Crash's ultimate nemesis, Crunch. Big deal, I would rather you don't play this game and we can all assume that Cortex wins and Crash's world is no more.

If you would be so inclined though, only Crash can save the world. So, step up to the plate, if you've got the time, and the patience for bad writing.

GAMEPLAY $$ 5/10 $$

I thought maybe this was a platform game, but I was wrong. There is really nothing Platform about it. It's set up much like the next-generation Sonic games.

You've got five worlds, consisting of five levels each and a boss. To unlock each new world, you must defeat all five levels and their boss. Sound confusing? It's not. This game is the very definition of linear. You literally have only one place to go. Picture a mountain path, on all sides there are deep ravines, or thick forest. You must stay on this path at all time- that is how Crash is set up. The environments seemed to have been written to be very deep, but they really aren't. It reminded my very much of Pac-Man in some regards.

The first time through each successive level, you simply have to progress to the end, collecting the crystal and melons as you go. Collect 100 melons and you receive a life. Lives are an invaluable resource in this game. Crash suffers one hit kills more times than not, unless you have the Tiki mask that gives you a little energy. Fall in the drink and you're dead. There is very little margin of error, and it makes this game very difficult.

I have to admit though, if I can say anything good about Cortex it is that there is a variety of different gameplay scenarios. You find yourself in command of numerous vehicles. Flying through the air in a glider on one stage, to driving through the jungle in a jeep in another. You find yourself doing different tasks in every level, and in this regard, the game shines. If the play control was not so sloppy and bare-bones, the game-play would be a blast.

Defeat a boss and Crash earns a new ability. One ability, for instance, is being able to tip-toe over TNT boxes. I always enjoy being able to power up a character- seeing them metamorph into the powerhouse of programmed energy that they've always had the potential to be, but in Cortex you wonder, “What's the use?”

GRAPHICS $$ 2/10 $$

These babies are bar-none, some of the worst PS2 graphics I have ever had the misfortune of blowing my sight on. What were they thinking? These is no detail, no depth. I mean, the original PlayStation could have put these graphics together. And the insanely long load times you have to wait through would have you believe that a humongous world a'waited, but Lo! There's no reward to your wait. There were absolutely no scenes that I care to gaze at for awhile. My gosh, were they awful. Just thinking about them makes me angry.

SOUND $$ 4/10 $$

(( Voice-Acting ))

Besides the voice-acting of the infamous Sargent from Full Metal Jacket there was no feeling or talent associated with the voice-acting in the least. Abysmal. Not even some campy cartoon from the ‘60s would have lowered itself to this horrible acting.

(( Music ))

Music? Ha! It wasn't horrible, it was average, like everything else in this game. I don't remember any of it standing out.

(( Effects ))

Lame- effects are supposed to compliment the action in this game, but Cortex'seffects were almost non-existent. It would have been just as well if they were non-existent. Come on, folks! When you've got other action titles out there like Ratchet and Clank, or Jak and Daxter, you had better bring something hot and spicy to the table– not yesterday's dry meatloaf.

PLAY-TIME $$ 7/10 $$

Probably the best part of the entire debacle is the play-time. You can sink at least 12-30 hours into Cortex, depending on how much you want to accomplish.

REPLAYABILITY $$ 4/10 $$

There are two endings to Cortex but in order to unlock the “real” ending, you have to go through each level a mind-numbingly number of times. It isn't enough to get the basic crystal from completing the level. You must brave the load times and do time trial after time trial, and if that ain't enough, you can look forward to collecting every last item for the Big-Deal real ending- that I'm sure isn't really worth your time.

RENT OR BUY?
Rent. It's not worth you or your parents hard earned bread.

FINAL RECOMENDATIONS

I know I wa s awful hard on poor old Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex, but it is only because I had the highest of expectations. I should've have raised the bar to such elevated standards, but I only did it out of love for the PlayStation. I hoped that their poster-child could hold a candle with Mario and Sonic, but if anything, this adventure was a feeble comparison- not even in the same ball park. If Mario and Sonic be prime-rib, Crash is a McDonald's burger.

Don't waist your time folks, you only live once, no reason to spend a few hours withering away with this travesty.

EXTRAS

It has been said that the same company that made the original smash hits relinquished the rights and a new author penned this fable. If that is any indication of what can become of good titles, I hope the same doesn't happen to the Legacy of Kain, games when their rights are transfered.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 11/01/04