Rumble Roses

"An under-rated guilty pleassure! Finally, somebody gets it right!"

Rumble Roses is an all girl wrestling game that boasts high quality graphics and plenty of sex appeal to the male dominated wrestling genre. This game has been slapped with low scoring reviews and negative press for many reasons that are simply ridiculous for what this game was aiming for. I will address these issues as they relate to the points on which the game is rated. Let's begin.

GRAPHICS 10/10: X-box has usually has a monopoly on beautiful graphics. However, Rumble Roses puts forward it's very best graphics with around 10,000 polygons per character, great animation, and attention to detail. For starters, the women in this game are absolutely gorgeous rivaling the now infamous DOA girls. It seems that the programmers at Konami must actually have girlfriends as they have rendered very realistic depictions of women. For one thing, these girls have wide hips which is contrary to how most games depict women. Women are not built like twelve year old, and Konami seems to know it. Another interesting detail is the breast animations. In Rumble Roses, the breast don't just bounce, they sway from side to side and seem to have gravity unlike most videogame breasts that defy the laws of physics and anatomy. You get about 22 different girls to choose from. All of which are beautiful in their own way. Unashamed to push the envelope, Konami has put almost every fantasy a guy could have into this game. You get ninja girls, sadistic cops, dominatrix slaves, sexy teachers, naughty schoolgirls, and even a robot chick. Basically, every sexual fantasy is covered in this game. They are all rendered very well with plenty of jiggle in all the right places. While it may seem somewhat obscene. The bodies are surprisingly realistic. As you fight, the girls are wrestled and bent into many naughty, racy, and kinky positions which really brings home the reason why this game was made. Make no mistake, this one is eye candy. Great job Konami!

SOUND 7/10: You get the standard soundeffects of wrestling with the typical mat slams and slaps. The music is reminiscent of 80's glam rock and several porn movies. If this sounds like a dream come true for you, you will like the music as it sets the mood quite well. If you hate the 80's then you will be somewhat annoyed, but you do get the option of turning off the music. However, a game that has it's own soundtrack with lyrics is pretty rare and Rumble Roses delivers slightly above average music. The voices have been scorned by many people. True, the voices could have been better. However, considering how campy this game is and the fact that it was supposed to be cheesy, the voices fit the girls rather well. Finally, there is plenty of grunting and screaming for those of you who have a sadistic side. More grunting and screaming would have been nice, but I guess it would have been too much for the censors. Overall, the voices are bearable and the music fits the campy nature of the game.

GAMEPLAY 8/10: I'm not a wrestling game fan, but the game is easy to play and offers plenty of variety in the moves. There are about four throws for each position you throw from totalling to about 36. There are also special throws for situations where you are next to the ropes and in the corner. Some of the moves are standard WWF, others are very flashy and fun to watch. Then there are plenty of those moves that belong on late night skinemax. Yeah, they are pretty arousing to say the least. You also get super moves and an over the top humiliation move that really lets you see... you get the picture. You can also control the camera during these raunchy moves which adds to the sex appeal of the game. Surprisingly, this game is very well balanced as every move can be countered and the gameplay can be picked up quickly.
The game has no slowdown or clipping so you can expect smooth gameplay. The loading is not very long, lasting about 5 seconds. You only get three modes of play. Story mode, exhibition mode which allows you to unlock a gallery mode. The gallery mode allows you to control the camera and check out the girls as they stretch and get ready for the fight. Gallery mode is really worth unlocking. In all, the game is fun and easy to play which lets you enjoy the graphics and humor in the game.

STORY 7/10: This is another area where this game has been ripped apart. I totally disagree with the negative reviews. First off, the stories are supposed to be cheesy with the girls basically just talking some trash before they fight. You get some humorous lines like,"I only do it for the money", "How did you get such a nice rack?", "It's time to deal some discipline" (followed by a thorough spanking). Secondly, I find it hard to believe that a man would care so much about the story in a game that is basically a soft core porno. You are buying this game to see naughty schoolgirls get pinned by a nasty cop with both their legs wide open showing you some of the best animated panties in videogame history. Be true to yourself, you are playing this game for some cheap thrills. You get some story explaining some of the reasons as to why the girls have entered the tournament. You also get a cool opening intro movies with each girl. Overall, I found the story mode to be enjoyable since I really wasn't expecting anything more than cheap dialog leading up to some unadulterated debauchery.

FUNFACTOR 9/10: I found that this game was very fun to play as all I wanted was to watch gorgeous girls go at it in mud matches and grunt on all fours. This game will not be enjoyed by those that think it's stupid to be aroused by digital girls. For those that can simply sit down and enjoy a guilty pleasure. you will love Rumble Roses. I've always liked female wrestling ever since the days of GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling)and this game delivers all the cheap comedy of a B-movie and plenty of skin for you to stare at. Great job Konami!

OVERALL 9/10: This game accomplishes exactly what it was trying to do. A girl on girl wrestling game with plenty of sex appeal and great graphics. Those who want deep storyline should look elsewhere as this game is campy and intentionally corny. I recommend this game to all fans of female wrestling and gorgeous digital girls as it will satisfy many a fantasy. Great game.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 11/17/04