The Bard's Tale

"All Hail the Bard, Rat-Killer and Rodent-Bane!"

The Bard's Tale, for those of you unaware, is an action RPG, with a serious focus on satire, comedy, and spoofing of cliches. 'A Quest for Coin and Cleavage!' The game incorporates elements from many places, and makes them work together.. pretty darn well.

Story 9/10
Being an RPG, the story is, of course, very important. The Bard's Tale centers around the Bard, and his quest for coin and cleavage. The Bard has the unique ability to summon creatures through music, and starts with just one: A Rat. The game opens with the Bard summoning the rat to scare a barmaid, in order for him to step in, unsummon the rat, and hopefully receive a reward for his brave work. The barmaid asks the Bard to deal with the rat problem in the cellars. The Bard handily defeats the rat, and the Narrator names him Rat-Killer and Rodent-Bane.. Up until the -giant- rat behind him sets him on fire, causing him to flee the cellar to be doused by the bar, who laughs at the Bard. Needless to say, the story is -filled- with things like this. The game goes to great lengths to make fun of many, many different cliches, overused plot devices, and generally the whole RPG genre.It also takes every opportunity to insult the Bard. Heh. The game quickly becomes another RPG where the hero has been Chosen (even though the Bard -hates- that word) to save a princess from evil. I can't say anymore, sadly, for fear of spoiling the plot and humor.

Sound: 10/10
Oh, sweet zombie Jebus on a pogo stick, does the sound in this game rock! The sound effects are good, and are never out of place. The music is excellent, always well-timed.. Especially the songs, such as 'Beer Beer Beer' and 'Its Bad Luck to be You'. Very, very funny. However, the best part is the voices of this game. Nearly every character in the game has a unique voice, each of which is done with the proper accent. The dialogue between the characters is hysterical at best, and simply funny at the worst. The interactions between The Bard and the Narrator are also very, very good.

Gameplay 8/10
The engine for the game is the engine for the Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance games. All in all, its a very simple gameplay style that doesn't detract from the true draw of the game: The story and humor. The Bard himself is able to fight with five different weapon styles (Sword and shield, two-handed weapon, dual-wielding, flail, or bow). Each of these is very well done and useful in its own way. The Bard is also able to summon creatures, a grand total of sixteen, each of which has an 'upgraded' version (a bit tougher and more powerful, sometimes with an extra ability.) They're not under your direct control, but you can issue pretty simple commands to them. (I just left them on 'Attack'.) Finally, during conversations, you are often given a choice, to either be Snarky, or to be Nice. Different NPCs will react differently to the choices. Some, for example, react -better- to a Snarky response. This can change what kind of rewards you get, what the NPCs do, or, in at least one case, whether the NPC lives of dies. In general, the gameplay is fairly well done, but not perfect: For example, in some cases, the AI is still pretty darned stupid. Ah well.

Graphics: 8/10
I don't usually worry about graphics too much. Still, it does deserve mention that the graphics are pretty well done. The models can be a little rough at times, and some of the special effects are a bit cheesy, but, in all, the graphics are pretty good.

Replay? Heck, yeah!
The story and dialogue is hilarious enough to keep you wanting to come back for more, and gameplay's good enough to not make doing so a hassle. Also, there are several sidequests you can miss, including at least four areas that are completely optional. Plus, on a second playthrough, you can see what happens when you make other choices in conversations.

Overall: 9/10
A VERY well done game. One I'd recommend to anyone. A nice change of pace from normal RPGs, with enough in there to keep most anyone playing.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 11/29/04