Stretch Panic

"A demon scarf and Z-Cup breasts!"

Bizarre games that make you think how the hell it got thought up are quite rare nowadays when the world is riddled with sequel after sequel. "If it isn't broke, why try to fix it" is one of the more popular sayings when it comes to sequels, but straying away from the same thing over and over can provide a very refreshing experience. You would never think someone like Treasure would think up something like Stretch Panic, given their record of shoot-em-ups. Stretch Panic offers one of the more innovative and unique experiences on the Playstation 2.

The game opens up with Linda, the main character, on her way home with a bunch of packages for her sisters, all 12 of them. Her sisters are all very, very vain and do not leave the house, simply because they cannot be away from their possessions. Thus, Linda does all of the shopping for her and her sisters. Upon entering the house, Linda is engulfed by a bright, white light that also seems to have transported her sisters somewhere. The bright light seemed to have sent Linda and her sisters to another dimension, plus it also made a demon possess Linda's scarf. It seems that the scarf has the ability to stretch anything that it touches. Linda must now rescue her sisters with the use of this magic scarf. It's definitely not a bad story, but once the game begins, there seems to be no big developments.

Straight from the introductory sequence, you'll be tapping your foot along to the music. The music is quite upbeat and doesn't seem to be lackluster in any areas. The music played during the boss battles all blend perfectly together. The sound effects also add to the atmosphere overall, although the lack of them seems to be a pity in the end. Other than a few bits here and there, the only real effect you'll hear repeatedly is the noise made when you snap the scarf back at the enemy.

Linda's scarf has the magical ability to stretch anything it comes into contact with, and this adds a unique twist to a boss-heavy game. You control the scarf with the right analog stick and when it grabs something, you can stretch it with another button. Depending on how you long you hold it, you can make the scarf do a few things. In the bottom right corner of the screen is a tension meter, which if held long enough and made red, Linda will torpedo herself towards whatever she held. The scarf is also used to make Linda jump, since she cannot do such otherwise. Everything attack or action Linda does requires the scarf.

One will find that the game is divided into two sections, a regular stage with enemies and then the bosses. There is a main room, where there are doors that lead to the bosses and little areas with regular enemies. In order to open the doors that lead to the bosses, you must collect EX Points. Going through an EX door will put you in a little area with some "well endowed" women. Because of their lust for wanting implants, they are now in this bizarro world with gigantic breasts. To get EX Points, you have to stretch any part of their body other than the breasts. However, the bikini-wearing ladies don't really put up any bit of fight, so getting points is incredibly easy, yet monotonous and boring. Once you have gathered as many points as you need, you may continue on to the best part of the game, the bosses.

It is quite clear to anyone who has played the game that the bosses are the focal point and the best aspect. Once you hae gathered enough EX Points to open a door leading to one of the bosses, you are thrown into an arena-type room, where you'll see one of Linda's sisters transformed into some giant image of beauty. It is then that you will have to free her from these demons by defeating her. Since each boss had a previous obsession before vanity, it adds a lot of variety to the boss fights. For example, one of the sisters used to love fire, so naturally she uses a lot of pyro attacks in her battle. Linda's ultimate goal is to exorcise the demons that have possessed her sisters and she can achieve this by using a special attack called the Scarf Bomb. Because the Scarf Bomb can do some major damage on the bosses, it can make them a pushover. The major opponent during the boss battles will probably be the camera.

With any 3-D action game, the camera is one of the more serious issues. The camera stands behind Linda the entire time and a button will center it whenever you choose to hit it. There is a lock-on feature, but the inability to switch targets while locked on can prove quite troublesome with some of the bosses, although being quite effective in one-on-one battles. Overall, the camera is more of an annoyance than anything, with the controls being quite a pain as well.

Let me start by saying that Linda moves ungodly slow. I've seen tortoises move quicker than her. The face buttons aren't used at all and this is one of my gripes with the controls. Since you have to use the scarf to jump, it can become very tedious in some of the later EX stages. Treasure should have implemented a jump button at least, but that's just a minor flaw in the game, since jumping is naught in boss battles.

Another obvious point is that the game utilizes a very low polygon count, which makes the game look and act very smooth. The backgrounds are very colorful and the character design is as well. The varied artwork put forth into the bosses gives the game a wonderful feeling to it. There is no slowdown or anything and the game has some very nice visual effects going on. The hub, called the Museum of Agony, is pretty much black and white, but the effect you'll see is quite a bit of eye candy from my perspective.

Since the bosses are easily defeated due to the Scarf Bombs, the game can be completed in under at least 3 hours. This makes for a very short and easy game. There is also nothing else to do once you have exorcised all of the sisters and beaten the game. This game is very enjoyable though because of the whole stretching concept and it could be quite an interesting concept when implemented into another game. It's obvious that the game seems like nothing more than a tech demo, but in a day and age where sequels reign supreme, it's nice to have an unique experience like Stretch Panic. Of course, the glaring flaws really hurt the game a lot, but anyone looking for something different should give the game a try.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 01/03/05, Updated 01/28/05