Playboy: The Mansion

"Playmates + Heff + Parties = Good? It SHOULD but..."

*sniff* *sniff* Can you smell that? I can...MARKETING...and tons of it! Where is the smell coming from you say? Over there...by my Playboy: the Mansion disk. It just oozes "Hey, let's make a game so the mass media and young adults can remember the name Playboy!"

I mean really! Did you ever see that [EXPLETIVE DELETED] bunny this much BEFORE the game was announced? I didn't think so.

So in the effort of getting the Playboy name out there, I must say that Heff succeeded in spades. But did he also succeed in making sure a fun game appeared in the midst of all of the publicity? I'll let the review help you decide the answer to that one.

Gameplay - There is one thing that can be said of Playboy: the Mansion (PBM), the game set out to create a suedo-accurate representation of what it is like to be Heff trying to get out a good issue of Playboy, and the game does just that. The problem is...well...it's not a whole lot of fun watching two characters speak jibberish to each other. Imagine playnig the Sims and watching two of the characters "dialogue" for about 30 minutes. Sounds facinating doesn't it? I didn't think so.

It's not all dull though and the game is FAR from dumb in terms of business. You have to appeal to six demographics. To ensure that you do in fact appeal to these groups and as a result recieve a big payout for your efforts you must write the right articles, conduct the right interviews, present the right pictorials, create the right essays, take the right centerfold shots, and pick the right cover girl. The sad thing is, you don't DO most of that stuff, rather, you tell others to do it. They come back with the goods and you smack on your magazine. woo...pii.

Here's how it goes:

To get articles you tell your journalist to write the article. You tell your journalist what kind of article to write depending on the demographic you wish to appeal too. Pictorials work the same way.

Your playmates work for you so creating a centerfold is as simple as commanding a playmate to pose, that is, as long as you have a photograper on your staff

To get interviews you tell your journalist to interview a star. But first you have to butter that star up by shmoozing with them at one of your parties. You shmooz by picking dialougoe that appeals to either their business side, romantic side, or friendship side. Business allows you to make deals and make life a little easier for Heff in the future. Romance allows Heff to woo the female stars and potentially have some intimate fun with them. Friendship is the way to go if you create your own inner circle of friends. Just like in real life each and every one of these types of relationships come with great benefits. Perhaps your business connect may bring his/her own friends to the party, oh yeah, they just happen to big HUGE stars. Maybe that stuck up supermodel will loosen up and pose for...after Heff...er...shares a kind moment with her (suddenly I have the urge to sing the song "Bump 'N Grind"). Also, what friend of Heff wouldn't say 'yes' to an interview?

Are you starting to see how this works?

All of the fun is had by figuring out what type of magazine you want to create, what stars would make for good content, and...um...let's not forget the photography (tee-hee).

Sad thing is once the party starts you have to go through the rigors of listening to Heff say "jamma bamma doodle doo?", listening to the star say "dooby dooby cocka doo!" and then listening to laughter. 2 min. later the star agrees to whatever you were trying to do, depening on the type of conversation had. Wash, rinse, repeat for the rest of the party. woo...pii

Now for all of you Sims fans out there. The rewards of churning out a great issue are sweet! You make the money, to hire the best staff and make you Mansion even bigger and better by furnishing and expaning, to throw the parties, to make great issues, to make the maney, ect...

If you like creating you own domain, Heff's place is a heck of a lot of fun build up! And the money doesn't come easy.

Use a music star to write to essay on politics? not good.
Use a politician to write and essay on politics? great!

You have to think about that type of stuff and the decisions get much harder than that! Like I said, the game is FAR from dumb.

And as far as the intimate moments go. They aren't necessary and yes the lower halfs are always coverd. The scenes are more for a laugh than anything. i laughed out loud at the first few positions I saw.

The photo's can be topless if you wish. It's not that big of a deal though...it just isn't. If your buying this game for a cheap thrill you WILL be dissappointed.

6/10
+ VERY smart business aspect
- everything else has either been done before or becomes ery monotonous after awhile

Graphics - Good stuff for a game of its genre. Nothing outstanding or underwhelming. The animations are also par-for-the-course for a game like this.

7/10
+ Not Bad
- Not Great either

Sound - You get to hear real music for a change, that's cool. If you listen close enough to the jibber talk, you can almost make out 'real words'!

7/10
+ real music
- just WHAT are the saying

Replay - This is one of those games will go on and on and Heff will get richer and richer! But who could stay awake that long?

Replay value: LOW
why? Just not enough to keep it interesting.

Buy/Rent - I strongly suggest renting this game first. If the business aspect is enough to keep your attention for the long run go for it.

I put in 8 hours of gameplay trying to find a reason to love this game. All I ended up with was respect for what they were attempting to do.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 01/28/05