The Bard's Tale

"Why save the world? Heroes don’t get paid that well, after all."

In a world full of magic, swords and sorcerers, a world where commoners claiming to be the “Chosen One” die at the rate of a hundred a day (often through their own stupidity), a world where a beautiful princess is being held captive magically by a cult of druids, opportunity awaits anyone clever, daring, or foolish enough to take advantage of the situation. The Bard is just such a man. He is not, however, your typical heroic rogue.

The Bard specializes in serving people's interests with a bit of music and magic. Just so long as his interests come first. With goals of “women, wine, and wealth, in that order,” it is hilarious to watch our self-centered anti-hero travel across the land pursuing his goals, conquering perils and besting foes of all shapes and sizes when necessary. Better still, this somehow manages to appear like a noble quest! Depending on your choices, you can make the Bard as noble or vile as you choose... well, maybe not quite noble. If you don't see the humor that can arise from this scenario, or if you don't enjoy watching a cynical, charismatic swindler work his magic to gain coin and cleavage, then turn back now. This is the heart and soul (and wit!) of the Bard's Tale. The quest to free the princess is nice and all, but the comedy is what this game does best.

The Bard's Tale is one of those games that sits slyly at the border of gaming genres, mocking both sides while still reaping the rewards of its ingenious combination. The game can be easily played as a hack-and-slash, but really it's more like a traditional RPG with its roots in the D&D system. You only ever control the Bard directly, but for a bard he actually handles himself fairly well throughout the game's plethora of hack-and-slash combat levels. Luckily, the Bard is never completely alone. At his disposal are Tunes – songs he plays to summon a great and diverse group of allies – and an abundance of weapons for both melee and ranged combat. If you behave yourself, you can even find a dog to accompany you!

Playing Tunes to summon the correct allies for any situation is easily the most strategic element of gameplay, and often it is the difference between life and death. The game does not make the summons seem like babysitters, though. Each ally has its own flair, its own personality, and its own use. As an example, take the old man (Trap Finder) whose express purpose it is to run around dungeons pouncing on – and consequently setting off – any traps he might encounter, saving the Bard the trouble and pain. The summons are all well designed and fairly well balanced, but some, like the healing Crone, are far more useful than others. Perhaps this is because the Bard is a better combatant than everyone else anyway; the only question becomes which support units he needs most. So even with summons as an extra dash of strategy, combat is still simple, based on timing and knowing your weapons' reaches, strengths, limitations.

One of the more severe limitations of the chosen system is the camera, which floats high above the Bard at a nearly bird's eye view. It isn't directly overhead, but its rotation is only circular around the bard, not vertical at all, which is very unfriendly and often unrelenting. Worse still, the frame is zoomed in a bit too close for comfort, but I suppose this allows you to see the excellent attention to detail that the game has to offer. Some of the pools of blood (and I mean pools) for example support some truly incredible ripple effects, and all the lighting effects are spectacular. One summon is essentially a living firefly, and watching that little bugger fly around, casting shadows and illuminating the darker passages, is truly beautiful. Even the fires coming off the blazing arrows the Bard can shoot are incredible, as are the enemies when struck by such an arrow.

For once, however, the camera issues are not related to it getting snagged on corners or leaving you blind. Camera rotation is simple, so engaging in close-quarters combat is actually one of the most satisfying experiences the game offers… but long ranged attempts are hardly more than guesswork. With no way to maneuver the camera to give you a better look farther away (even in the slightly expanded archery zoom), you have to align your arrows with the enemy blips on your radar and hope you hit. I should also add that even knowing when you hit can be guesswork. Not good. Fortunately the game has other strengths that outweigh these issues.

Shortly into the game you'll notice that The Bard's Tale has lots of involving and humorous cut-scenes that spare no one and use every trick in the book to draw a laugh. It isn't just the Bard making fun of people or RPG cliches, either. The narrator joins in, often slamming the Bard verbally, to which the Bard usually retaliates. It is an interesting relationship to say the least. The story and humor are so involving that they entertainment by themselves, without need of much action or adventuring. In fact, the in-game movies are some of the most interesting I've seen; the dialogue holds nothing back, even within the barely original plot.

The voice acting is tremendous; the Bard is voiced by none other than Cary Elwes – Westley of “the Princess Bride” fame – and the surrounding cast is equally talented. However, I do recommend turning subtitles ON before playing, as everyone speaks with a noticeable Irish-like accent. Some are worse than others, too… But even on the occasions where characters break out into song – and yes this occurs semi-frequently – it all sounds good. There's also no shortage of innuendo, which is always impeccably placed for maximized humor. When the Bard and the Princess finally get talking, well, just watch out; hilarity ensues. Most importantly, all of this comedy really fits the Bard's character, and that's what sets the game's pace.

The Bard's Tale touts a very interesting and unorthodox change in player interaction with its new “attitude” communication system. At many points throughout the story, you get the opportunity to make decisions and voice your opinions. However, this is not done in the traditional “choose the desired line of dialogue” way. Instead, you have the option to be either Nice (which also means honest) or Snarky (which is more like wit and cunning). The funniest outcomes are often results off the unexpected choices, and since you never know exactly what the Bard will say until after you've made your choice, it really does make for an interesting play mechanic. It should also be mentioned that, in The Bard's Tale, Honesty is not always the best policy.

All the glowing praise aside, there are a few more issues with The Bard's Tale that keeps it from being truly magnificent. First off, there is virtually no challenge in the game. Even on hard mode, which is created by barely strengthening enemies and removing about half the save points, all the game accomplishes is upsetting the gamer by making an essential process (saving) more inconvenient, NOT harder. The two do not equate. Also, even with three possible endings, there is very little replay value in the game except for completionists who want to locate every item and secret. Trying to find everything The Bard's Tale has to offer requires a guide of some sort, as otherwise you'll easily miss a token here or a Tune there with no chance of regaining them later. The saving grace for the truly dedicated here is that the main story can be completed in a measly 15 hours… if you proceed slowly… and the story goes much more quickly the second time through thanks to a useful cut-scene skip feature.

The Bard's Tale is not your typical RPG, but then again it isn't the typical action adventure either. The main hero is plainly out for his own good, but that is one of the reasons the game shines so uniquely. With more comedic elements than any other game I've seen lately, The Bard's Tale actually manages to balance the tongue-in-cheek humor well against the seemingly epic plot and solid action gameplay. The Bard is a strangely likeable character despite even his obvious greed and lusts. At the same time, with its often-hilarious plot, lush environments, and believable fantasy atmosphere, the gameplay is smooth, which makes the entire gaming process more enjoyable. The Bard's Tale is a great choice for anyone seeking to tackle a less-than-traditional quest, or anyone looking to laugh themselves silly.

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 04/13/05