Rumble Roses

"The only game I've ever loved, and didn't even care about the gameplay."

I bought this game (if you can call it that) on a whim, and I'm glad I did. Rumble Roses is a wrestling/fighting game with a cast composed entirely of beautiful female characters. Skimpy outfits and scandalous moves make this game worth playing...or trying to play anyway.

Slapped with an M (17+) rating, Rumble Roses is obviously not for the kids.

Graphics: 10/10
The graphics are so well-done, that it's hard not to stare at the screen. Well, the wonderful quality of the graphics isn't the only reason you'll be staring. Each of the sexy contenders comes complete with several costumes to choose from, and a variety of techniques that you wouldn't want your mother to walk in and see. The audience in the background isn't designed as well, but you honestly won't care about them.

The graphics really shine their best in the gallery mode, where you can unlock and view the wrestlers. In gallery mode, you have full control of the camera, which I really wanted during gameplay. I constantly found myself screaming at the screen for not allowing me to rotate when particular moves were executed. Watch for hours (well, maybe a few minutes) as the lady of your choice moves around doing various poses that you REALLY wouldn't want your mother to walk in and see.

If you haven't gotten the hint yet, do not show this game to your mom.

Gameplay: 4/10
What gameplay? Seriously, the only reason I slogged through the fights was to unlock costumes and the aforementioned gallery mode. It is possible to unleash special attacks and such, but the controls felt sloppy, and hard to handle. Whenever the computer started getting the better of me, I found it almost impossible to get free, while the computer had it easy when it came to stopping my attacks.

While the controls are awful, gameplay gets points for the gratuitous nature of practically every special technique and submission hold. It's so enticing, that you find yourself trudging through the controls to try new and more fascinating moves.

Sound: 5/10
The sound gets the job done, but doesn't excel at anything in particular. I never found myself wanting to turn the music off, so it wasn't bad in anyway, but there was nothing spectacular about it. Great music is stuff that makes me go "OOH! I gotta get the soundtrack for this game!" There is the nice touch of every single character having their own unique intro theme, but again, none of those songs are anything amazing.

The bad side of the sound is the voice acting. There are always bad dubs, but this was awful. The dialogue, while already amusing, became downright hilarious at times with the horrible voice acting trying to cover serious situations. Unlike the music, I did want to turn the voices off.

Playability: 6/10
The gallery mode and costumes are pretty much the only reason to be playing this game. Once you unlock everything, there's almost no reasons to ever play another match, unless you like the gameplay for some reason...or maybe you're playing with a friend, and the two of you want to see just how lewd you can be with each other's characters.

Extras: 10/10
I'm positive I've mentioned the gallery mode. Nothing more needs to be said.

The Final Score: 7/10
The Final Verdict: BUY
While I have a hard time acknowledging this as a "game", I still recommend it for purchase to any man over the age of seventeen. There's something in Rumble Roses for every guy, since each girl has a different theme. There's a schoolgirl, a cheerleader, a teacher, a nurse, a ninja, etc.

If you have some extra cash, and are looking for a game that's all about eye-candy, then this is what you want.

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 08/11/05