Mega Man X5

"History of Wonderboy and Young Nastyman..."

Poor Sigma. His dream is to wipe out humanity and rule the world. He's got all the resources and skills required for such an undertaking. He's got the brains, the brawn, and just enough charisma to make the world tremble at his mechanical feet. Despite such advantages, Sigma has gotten his sorry ass kicked four times now. Despite the best efforts of X and Zero, the Maverick Hunters and heroes of the Mega Man X series, nothing can keep this deluded villain from coming back for more punishment. In his latest scheme, Sigma is attempting to infect the world with some kind of specialized virus, thus wreaking havoc and sending society into the brink of anarchy. On top of that, he's sabotaged the space colony of Eurasia and set it on a crash course for earth. Apparently, Sigma wants to go out with a bang.

Okay. Nearly all the robots have gone insane, and the world is about to get up close and personal with a gigantic hunk of space debris. This isn't the best time to be a good guy. In order to save the future (again!), they must explore a few different areas and locate some parts to a highly powerful machine called the Enigma. This gigantic cannon has more than enough strength to blast Eurasia out of the sky. If that doesn't work, then there's a space shuttle that can be piloted and rammed into the colony. This would be a pretty easy assignment, but there's just one little problem: the robots that were guarding the parts have been tainted with Sigma's virus and are more than willing to rip our heroes limb from mechanized limb. With only 16 hours until Eurasia collides with Earth, X and Zero need every ounce of heroic prowess they can muster.

Before the game begins, you'll be given the choice of either character. Mega Man X5 follows in the footsteps of the previous game by allowing for different storylines and gameplay depending on who you choose. X is still packing his faithful X-Buster, a laser gun that can be charged up and let loose tiny energy pellets, small shots, and massive balls of energy. Should you charge the shot completely and have it connect with an enemy, it'll linger on for a few seconds longer and prolong your foe's suffering. But if you feel like getting a bit closer to your enemies, then Zero's fancy swordplay with signature Z-Saber is right up your alley. Regardless of which hero you choose, you'll have to fight your way through hordes of helmeted goons, deadly laser cannons, and endless rows of deadly spikes. If you manage to survive the levels, you'll get to take on one of Sigma's goons. Should you defeat them, you'll be granted their weapon, which in turn can be used to exploit a weakness in another boss. Rinse and repeat a few more times, and world is as good as saved.

Now, this all would have been well and good, but then Capcom decided to **** everything up.

If you've ever played a Mega Man game, the whole concept of choosing a stage, slaughtering a boss, and stealing its weapon should be an all too familiar idea. It's what you'd want from a Mega Man title; it's what you'd expect from it. The problem is that the minds behind Mega Man X5 decided to add a bunch of new stuff that would supposedly make the game seem fresh and original. X will be able to collect various armors with different capabilities, but he can only use them one at a time instead of continually upgrading. This forces you to pick and choose among the armors' various strengths and weaknesses. Also, both heroes are both vulnerable to the Sigma virus; should the villain's evil head suddenly appear, it can infect and eventually destroy them if you aren't careful.

On top of all that, the game's timing system comes into play. When one of the characters mentions that there's only 16 hours until the Eurasia collision, he isn't kidding around; every time you enter a level, you'll lose another precious hour off your remaining time. This time limit leaves little room for failure; should you run out of time, the colony will hit the Earth and grant you the worst of the game's multiple endings. It's not like the aggravatingly difficult levels help, either. You'll have to carefully climb over ledges filled with spikes that can kill you with a single touch, dodge a massive flow of lava by ducking into strategically placed alcoves, and deactivate a bunch of timed bombs with mere seconds to spare. Oh yeah, that's really fun. The game is nice enough to give you infinite continues, but that won't matter much when Eurasia crashes home after you've botched enough lives.

If all this wasn't irritating enough, the game's overly dramatic storyline will make it even worse. In between each level, you'll be forced to endure utterly boring dialogue between the characters as they lament their inevitable doom. What happened when X was a silent Maverick killing machine? When did Zero get so damned angsty? And just who the hell is Alia, and why does she keep interrupting me every five steps I take? This is Mega Man X5, not Metal Gear Solid 2, dammit. At least the game attempts to win you over with its fancy graphics. X and Zero stand tall and mighty, complete with gleaming armor, flashy attacks, and smooth animation. Everything else is just as detailed; there are more than enough tire treads, gigantic claws, and cheesy dialogue to go around. You'll be able to see the cracks and tears in the ravaged colony pavement, wander through desolate wastelands, and infiltrate a wonderfully ornate castle. But you know what the best thing is? The game doesn't feature those crappy voice actors from Mega Man X4. That is a blessing in itself.

How did this happen? The series was going strong up until this game reared its ugly head. Mega Man X5 is a prime example of trying to improve too much on something that would've worked well enough unchanged. The plot is fairly deeper than what you'd expect from a Mega Man game, The tried and true shooting and platforming gameplay is still present, but it's been marred by a some horribly difficult levels, multiple endings based entirely on a flawed timing system, a tacked-on virus plague, and some of the dullest text dialogue you'll ever see. And to think, Mega Man X5 was supposed to be the last game in the series! If that were the case, then Mega Man X would going out with not a bang, but a whimper.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 09/15/06, Updated 09/18/06