Largo Winch .//Commando Sar

"You can pick up any other PlayStation game and it’ll be a thousand times better than this game."

Ever heard of a man named Largo Winch? If you have, then you have either come across a French TV-show or a series of comics of the same name, or a PlayStation game of the same name. If you heard about him from the game, then you've also come across one of the worst if not THE worst PlayStation game ever. Simply put, if pain had a second name, it would be Largo Winch. // Commando SAR.

During the opening of his new chemical factory in Venezuela, billionaire Largo Winch is kidnapped and blackmailed to sell his factory to the evil Mrs. Fritz. The story feels incredibly weak, and part of that is because of the poorly animated cut scenes. The frame rate of the animation in these cut-scenes is so shoddy that it makes primitive clay-animations hold CGI-animation quality. The syncing for the subtitles aren't much better either, as they blink off the screen several seconds before the actual line is read. The other problem with the story is that it contains so many plot holes. For instance, it is never explained why Mrs. Fritz wants Largo's chemical factory so badly or how she and Mr Winch are related. The plot holes are also so many that you can skip directly to the last stage without missing much of the story since it doesn't seem to make much of a progress.

A quote from the back of the box says that the game is “a combination of combat, suspense and mystery” among other things, which is not entirely untrue. There is a lot of combat in the game as you constantly get into fights with bad guys. Unfortunately, the fighting is ruined thanks to horrific control and the fact that enemies usually attack you two or more at a time. This wouldn't be such a big problem if it wasn't for the fact that you can only take on one enemy at a time. It doesn't help that Largo turns like he's wading through a sea of glue either. There's also some platforming, but that's also ruined thanks to a two second delay whenever you press the jump button. The broken controls are especially unhelpful during the stealth mission were you'll many times be spotted by guards and cameras that are next to impossible to locate. Even worse, every time you're spotted you'll be forced to start the whole mission all over again.

While there's a lot of combat to be had, suspense is on the other hand absent, since the voice acting is unbearable to listen to. The voice actors in this game are some of the worst you'll ever hear. It's not that they're overacting; it's that they're not acting at all. The news reporter from the first cut-scene is the prime example. When she addresses that Largo has been kidnapped she does it in such a stale manner that people watching probably thought to themselves “And why should I care?” Let's be thankful that this woman didn't address the 9/11 attacks.

Since the suspense is absent, it's a good thing that there's a lot of mystery regarding your ammo refill as a huge compensation. During some missions you'll have a gun and a set of throwing knives at your disposal. You'll get six bullets for your gun and 5 knives, and nothing more. If you happen to run out of ammo, you'll be forced to play through the rest of the level relying on your fists only, since there's no way to pick up any more ammo. Not only is this annoying and technologically lacking, but you'll also find it unfair when you're trying to get into hand-to-hand combat with a bad guy who can kill you with only three gunshots. There aren't any health packs or any other things you can pick up to regain your health either, so expect to die a lot even during the first level.

While good graphics and/or good music usually redeem bad games, they don't in Largo Winch. Think of the same amount of polygons that formed Lara Croft's boobs in the original Tomb Raider back in 1996. In 2002, six years later you take those same polygons; throw in a comic-book character nobody knows anything about and make an abysmal game about him and you've got Largo Winch for the PlayStation.

Music is awful at best and not too surprisingly, even more awful at worst. It's hard to describe with words how horrible the music is. It's the kind of music that you must hear first to understand exactly how dreadful it is. Not only is the music unbearable to listen to, but you'll also be forced to listen to the same two (or maybe three) tunes through every one of the seven stages. It's as nitpicking as it gets. Where's Graeme Norgate when you need him?

Saying that Largo Winch. // Commando SAR is a bad game isn't a fair description. The game is actually so horrible that you can pick up any other PlayStation game and it'll be a thousand times better than this game. If you're planning to start a website about finding and destroying every copy of this game you might want to buy it, but otherwise stay far, far away.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 07/15/09, Updated 09/03/09

Game Release: Largo Winch .//Commando Sar (EU, 09/06/02)