Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

"It's pretty good."

Come on, come on! 60 seconds! What’s that Jed? I’m coming, I’ll get on the set! Shirt, shirt! Woo, thanks! Okay, all I need are some pants! Where are my pants! 40 seconds! Ahhhh!!! Wait, here they are! Now, one last thing. *Get’s Mountain Dew out of the Fridge*. Now that’s it! Gotta get downstairs! Yes! *Jumps on couch*. Jed, let’s do this! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1……Go!

Yes, hey! Welcome to Dude’s World! A small cable access show from Cleveland whose name has nothing to do with what it’s about! Now, to start off today, I’d like to introduce myself, Dude! And, over there is Jed, our cool producer! And, our other co-star, Wilson the Volleyball from Cast Away! I bought him off of Yahoo!. Anyways, I am still flat broke from buying Wilson here, so, we’ll review a game that I’ve kept as a doorstop for a while. It’s called “Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back!” Oooohhhh, that sounds scary! Don’t it, Jed?

Jed: Sounds like Star Wars, or that stupid Pokemon movie.

Oh, yeah! That Star Wars film was awesome! Well, what do you have to say, Wilson? Nothing? Well, let’s have a call come in! I see we have a “Bjork” on the line! Bjork, speak out!

Stories are cool. Can I tell this story to my kid when he goes to bed?

Well, instead of that, why don’t I just tell you the story?

Story: 7/10

Well, once again, we see Cortex falling from his blimp, into a cave. He lights a match, and there are crystals galore! But, then his match goes out.

One year Later…

We see Cortex scheming up another maniacal plan to take over the world. His head scientist, N. Gin., says that he could use the 25 slave crystals, an immense source of energy. They are similar to the ones that he found, but way more powerful. One problem, they’re stuck in an ancient structure full of many different areas, so, he needs some help. Enter: Crash. Coco’s computer has run out of juice, so, she sends Crash to get a new battery. Along the way, he is swallowed in a whirl, and here he is in an ancient warp room. Cortex tells him that he needs the crystals to save the world, just so that he can use Crash to complete his maniacal scheme. And, well, I won’t spoil it anymore. Not exactly the best story. More like one that has been recycled many times over. But, it’s pretty good. Bravo.

Man, it’s cold in here! Hey, Wilson, want to watch me make a fire? *Goes over to fireplace*. Hey! Fire! FIRE!!!! Yea!

Jed: While our idiot host is preoccupied at this time, let’s have our next caller, “Enya” speak.

Graphics are Cool.

Why do we always seem to get statements instead of questions?! Oh, well. I guess I can explain these for you. I think. Wilson, why don’t you speak? Okay, I’ll do it.

Jed: Wilson is a freakin’ Volleyball! It can’t speak!

Graphics: 9/10
These graphics were the pinnacle of the Playstation at its time. Even though now it’s nowhere near as good looking as some of the titles now, they were some of the best. First of, I should mention the environments. They are beautiful. Whether it’s the colorful Jungle levels, or the Sewers, it is done in good fashion. And, another thing I was astounded by was in the bear levels, where you have to run from mother bear, and ride a Polar Bear through. There was absolutely no pop-up, or any drop in graphical quality or frame-rate. And, you are going pretty fast, so this is an added plus. The effects are also pushing the ps1 out as well, with you able to see a reflection of Crash through the ice, or the water. The only thing that is wrong with this game is that some of the animations of the enemies, and your main dude Crash, are just horrible. Such as one point, when I got thrown off my polar bear, the bears face just got all stretched out and fuzzy. Another point is when Dr. Cortex or Coco are in the center speaking to you. Their mouth’s don’t move with the lips, and their animations are just god-awful to look at. And, Crash’s model is not sculpted too well, either. But, aside from those, this is one game to look at.

You know what, Jed? I want to play a game with Wilson!

Jed: What game?

Volleyball! Haaaaahhaaaaaaa! Oh, well. Hey, Jed, how many viewers we got? 700! Wooooo! Well, now it’s time for another call, and we have Natalie P. on the line! Hey, Natalie, do you like…….stuff?

Jed: Do me a favor and Be QUIET!!!

Fine. What’s your question?

Controlling things are cool. Are the controls good in this game?

Well, now. Let’s get straight on it, shall we?

Control: 7/10
It is a step up from the original, but sadly, not that much of one. You still have your basic controls, run forwards, backwards, and the spin, and the jump. But, you also get 3 new moves, the super jump, the slide, and the belly flop. Sadly, they don’t really mean anything. You only use the slide in rare occaisions, same with the Super Jump. And, the Belly Flop is almost unneeded, as there are only those types of boxes in about 5 of the levels, and sometimes if you slide, they’ll break open, leaving it totally unneeded. Luckily, the controls are pretty smooth, though when they are needed in tight spots, they just don’t come through. Also, the way the camera is angled is sometimes sickening. Such as if you’re crawling on a grate on the ceiling, it is very hard to see where some of the enemies are traveling, even if they’re sitting idle. And, the jumping problems still remain, though they have added Crash’s shadow in to try and help you judge where you land.

Well, Jed, it’s that time in our show where we just sit back, and listen to the sounds around us.

Jed: You do that all the time, I’m the one that does all the work!

Shut up! Now, here’s this week’s edition of Sound News!

Sound and Music: 10/10
Well, well. Finally, a 3D platformer can get this high up in the sound category. The sound is crystal clear in every case. This is most evident in the Jungle levels, since they always have rain, and it sounds exactly like real life. It is also evident in the sewers, as in the backround, you can hear the clanking and dripping of the pipes and water. But, the music is what really sets this apart. Sure, it’s just little tunes, but they each fit the area perfectly! No need to mute it, it will fit no matter what! A true masterpiece!

Okay! It’s time to read some fan mail! Wait a sec. I don’t have any! Hey, Jed, why don’t we have any fan mail? Wha…? I’ll show you stupid….Oh, crap! I can’t say that! I must not say it! Hey, Wilson, what do you think of this game so far?

Jed: He is a freakin volleyball! He can’t talk, dumbass!

Jed! Zip it! Zip it! Zip it good! While you do that, I’ll answer this call from a George W.

As you may know, Gameplay is one of the most vital parts to a game. Without gameplay, the game would not be playable. Gameplay is also used to be a strategical means to.. *Hangs Up*

Okay. I’m to stupid to hang on, but I’ll tell you about the gameplay.

Gameplay: 9/10
Not the best, but worthy of playing. You are Crash Bandicoot, of course, in an ancient structure with 6 levels (The 6th is a secret.). There are 5 levels to each room, and pink Slave Crystals are in each one. Your goal is to get all 25 of these to be able to face off with Cortex! And, each Warp Room has a theme, like Jungle, Snow, or Railway, etc. Now, here’s the catch. As you go on, each level gets steadily harder and longer to complete. Another thing that you are able to collect are Gems, as N. Brio will tell you. He wants you to collect Gems instead to power up his weapons to destroy Cortex’s ship. There are 2 types of gems. There are Gray ones, which you can get from either opening all of the boxes in the level, or going on crossbone platforms. And, there are colored gems, which can be earned from trying out special tasks, or from doing a secret level. Now for the boxes. You can either open up a plain box, a question mark box which can have a number of things inside, or there are bouncy boxes which have 10 fruit inside. There are also variants of each thing. Now, there are also BAD boxes. TNT crates blow up in 3 seconds when you touch them, and Nitros blow up INSTANTLY when you touch them. Now, in between rooms, there is a boss to stop you. Some of them are pushovers, and some you could waste 10 lives on! Now, there is also a great variant of levels, going from Jet Skiing, running from some polar bear, or going through a course ON a polar bear. Sadly, though, the same ideas are used up too much. In fact, there is NO level in the entire game that isn’t reused at least once. Though, that doesn’t mean that you won’t have fun doing them. One more thing that bogs them down is once you get into the nitty gritty of getting all of the gems in each level, it just becomes very tedious. It is certainly a feat, but it is just not the best.

Well, we’re to the last part of our program. Now, before I tell you the last part, let me say, I’M TIRED!!!! Hey, Wilson, why don’t you tell them about the last 3 components?

Jed: HE CAN’T TALK! HE’S A FREAKING VOLLEYBALL!

Fine!

Challenge: 8/10
Well, the whole entire game is balanced very well throughout, I have to give it that. What I hate is those hard, tedious challenges that come up about every 2nd level or so. After awhile, these challenges will just bore you into control spiking fury.

Replay Value: 8/10
After you beat it, trust me, you WILL want to try and get everything. But, just as I explained before, it gets old fast. But, now, say you have a couple of hours to kill. Well, this, and the other 2 Crash platformers are pretty short if you don’t include getting all of those Gems. So, you’ll be able to play through, and most likely beat it in that time. That I have to applaud. A quick game that provides hours of replay.

Fun Factor: 8/10
Well, as I have now repeated for the 3rd time, you will have a lot of fun playing, but, those tedious tasks that you have to do to get those final few gems will just get you bored, or in a fury of rage. But, fun nonetheless.

Well, Let’s go into a recap!

Story: 7/10
Graphics: 9/10
Control: 7/10
S+M: 10/10
Gameplay: 9/10
Challenge: 8/10
RV: 8/10
FF:8/10

Overall: 8/10

Now, to buy? Without a doubt, yes. It will be good fun while it lasts, and is not a title to be missed.

Well, I thank you for joining me, Jed, and Wilson here for our show. I hope you come back next week. Until then, bye.

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 01/22/01, Updated 01/22/01