Disney's Hercules Action Game

"I like words that almost rhyme with cheese."

In an effort to cash in on any industry they can, Disney have been known to release games based on their movies and shows, quite an ingenious plan and one that would have tested the greatest minds at Disney as they formulated this bold and daring plan. Unfortunately people have neglected to tell them that people will only emerge from their humble dwellings and invest cash into their merchandise if it proves to be somewhere above appalling on the quality scale. Hercules is one of the titles which dips below the quality that people expect from their games, appealing only to a younger audience (meaning the people that can't tell the difference between Spice World and Metal Gear Solid).

Loosely based on the animated movie of the same name and about half as exciting, you guide the muscle-bound hero (his name is Hercules too) through ten levels of non-stop fun and mischief. Of course the only reason this fun and mischief can be classed as non-stop is because it never actually starts (there's my attempt at being facetious for this review). Now although Hercules is based in two dimensions, an effort has been made to make this title a tad more interesting than your average side scroller. In fact only half of the levels will have you experiencing this mundane ''jump around and hit things'' format. To spice things up there are levels with Hercules taking on what can only be described as an obstacle course, running away from the screen at all times, your only viable tool is a deviation in speed. Thirty percent of the levels (meaning three of them) are all out boss fights, and are the best stages in the whole thing. To link these seemingly unrelated levels an ingenious ploy has been used. This involves snippets of the film, and eyeballs to view them, as it's these FMV sequences that will fill you in on the story.

One would think that being the son of almighty Zeus would mean that our dear lead character might be some kind of ''talented fighter'', however the people Disney have quashed any rumours of this kind and shown us what a chump this semi-god really is. Hercules has a sword, it's very pretty, but nothing special. Hercules can punch, fast and weak punches or slow and powerful punches. Hercules can find pick-ups to make his sword do special things which are even more useless than its normal slash. When it comes to tricks, moves and all round skullduggery, I'm afraid Herc just doesn't quite shape up! To counter this deficiency another one of those ingenious ploys has been used, the enemies that try to attack you are pitiful so you won't actually need to worry about being powerful! The most dangerous thing in the game is a hole in the ground in level seven, and it's not even a very deep one.

For those of you who like a game that goes for longer than 30 minutes, all you can do is stand around for a minute then proceed to finish the game in 31. You might want to stray two feet off the path in the eternal quest to spell Hercules' name, but why? It doesn't do anything useful and is just a nasty distraction from all the mocking of the game that you have to do. And if you want to save your game then what do you do? Finish a level? Never! Run through a level and find four pain-in-the-ass pots for the chance to save your game, it's hard to do, in fact I don't think they even put four pots in each level!

Now then, the graphics are disappointing. Animated games can't be that hard to do, but this one is very grainy and often blurry. The backgrounds are very drab, showing ancient Greece in all its glory with the dullest colours it could muster. The characters are equally poor, with dumb actions and dumb overall looks. The sound is hardly an improvement on this, unimaginative tunes coupled with annoying voice acting from Phil the mutated goat. To enjoy the game at its fullest, turn down the sound and turn off the screen to completely eradicate these design aspects.

Hercules is an absolutely rubbish game overall. The CD case I got with the game has been in my Playstation more than the game itself (slight exaggeration). You'll get more out of the Hercules franchise by viewing the movie once, buying a PS2 and the Hercules DVD would offer you better value for money than buying this game could ever provide. If you want to buy a crappy game, go and get Spice World or Dreams, leave this one dangling off the shelves so hopefully Disney will eventually realise their mistakes!

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 02/16/01, Updated 02/22/01