Machinehead

"I can just hear Gavin Rossdale turning over in his grave..."

Intro
...Okay! So Gavin isn't dead (at the moment). I guess it was evil of me to associate a band I like (that being Bush) with a game I hate (that being Machinehead). I'm pretty thankful I didn't wind up paying for this game, which I nearly did. My friend, in fact, got it for his birthday and didn't like it. So, he gave it to me. Why? Why would a best friend do something like this? Sorry to anyone out there who likes this game. I did not. I no longer own the game as I traded it for Tetris Plus, which is WAY better than this game, in my opinion.

Hmm... Killing a Mutant Virus... Wasn't There Another Crappy Game Having Something to Do With a Mutant Virus?
It is the distant future. A mutant virus has spread throughout the world, killing people. You play as a woman. I don't remember her name, it wasn't really worth remembering. She has been forced to kill this virus. Don't want to? Too bad! She's got a bomb strapped to her, waiting to explode the instant she gives up.

An FPS I'd Rather Forget
This is probably among the worst FPS games I've ever played. When you hear about, it seems like it might be a good game. Each level has a different objective, like protecting a railway car or opening a gate, that you must conquer. This being an FPS, you are assigned tough weapons to blow away many giant spiders and mutants that roam free about the land. There are also scientists that really seem to serve no purpose other than to yell, ''Hey!,'' then jump up and down and moan like a Teletubby on LSD.

Each level is designed with some adventurous intrigue to them. You have to do a lot of traveling and exploring to get to your next destination. Usually, I'm a sucker for exploration. This game, on the other hand, is an exception. The flow of the game can get so confusing and level designs so terrible that you really don't know where to go next, how to get there, or what the hell is going on.

Graphics
The graphics are nothing special. First, you have the crappy lighting. Somethings look a bit too bright and others too dark. They didn't balance the lighting well enough. The game also uses dull and/or pukey colors. The environments, for example, are simply boring looking and have no imagination. It definitely would benefited from more atmosphere. I didn't feel like I was in a post-apocalyptic world, but more of a very bad dream. The character and enemy designs look a bit junky. Everyone looks like a mess of blocks and pixels. The spider creatures are no exception. ''NO! Get away from me! Don't wrap me up in your pixilated websilk!'' With such gaudy designs, this game became an eyesore fast.

Sounds
The sounds give a small taste of sweetness. This game's soundtrack is primarily crawling in the techno yumminess, which isn't too bad. It's good music to hype you up, which they were hoping to achieve in this game. I'm not even a big techno fan, but I can honestly say this is some good stuff presented for a game; It does good for making your blood boil. Sure, for a minute, your blood pressure rises and you just want to blast the crap out of anything that moves. Then you play the game for about 15 minutes. I almost lost the will to live. At least it had some good sound effects, albeit the fact that all too often you have to hear the stupid scientists and their, ''Hey! ... UHHHHH-EHHHHH!'' I find blasting them really takes care of that.

Final Word
FPS games really didn't blossom much on PSX (except Medal of Honor, which is pretty good in my opinion). This one is almost as bad as the PSX version of Hexen, which was insanely horrible. Where could they have improved with this title? First off, graphics. It didn't seem they spent much time actually putting these together and just threw a bunch of lousy designs out quickly to market a game. The flow of the game should've been just a bit less confusing. I was getting sick of getting lost or just not having any idea what was going on. This also needed something unique to it. It almost felt like playing another run-of-the-mill shooter. Sure, this game would be a pioneer... Assuming such games like Doom and Wolfenstein didn't exist and this game was made at that time. Personally, I just don't see this as much of a fulfilling title.

FINAL JUDGMENT
Graphics: Eh... 5/10
Sounds: Well done music, anyway 7/10
Controls: Actually, not too bad. Okay response with minor complexities. It feels like you're playing Twisted Metal, only nowhere near as many response issues. 8/10
Plot/Storyline: Wow... Kill a mutant virus. Yaaawwwwnnn... Next! 4/10
Gameplay: Sub-par and further down 3/10
All Together: 2/10

Perks
*Decent soundtrack
*Good controls

Downers
*Sub-par gameplay
*Dull plot
*Blah graphics
*Blah game
*I can't stand those scientists!

Recommendations
If you're an extreme, diehard FPS'er and simply must play every FPS you come in contact with, than this is for you. If you despise FPS's or at least console-based ones, it may not be your cup of tea. As always, someone should like this more than me. Hell, someone gave Heroes of the Lance a 10... Why not this game? Anyway, if you're looking for a good FPS on PSX, I suggest Medal of Honor.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 06/16/01, Updated 02/03/02