Primal Rage

"Or, How I survived a broken heart"

Ah, Primal Rage. I still remember you. What should I say?
Let me tell you, reader, a story. April, 1996. I met a girl. We dated for two days. I was completely in love with her... Yeah, even if it was for two days. I was 16 on that time, don't blame me. Well, cutting it short, she kicked my butt. I was, to say the least, destroyed. So, what to do? Rent a game!

So, I wiped the tears from my eyes and went to the nearest game renter. I saw this game, ''Primal Rage''. It seems that my eyes were still moisted, otherwise...

Enough talk. Let's talk about the game that helped me forgetting the girl.

Graphics: Ah, the good old times. Programmers thought that this damned ''motion capture'' was good-looking. Yeah. Good looking as hell. The dinos move like a pile of dirt (well, I was thinking about other word, but it would be moderated for sure). Everyone just GOT to see the continue screen with a three-framed girl desperate because you lost. I'd rather eat her (as the dinos can eat humans in this game). They are arcade-perfect, but perfect is a word too strong for this game. Motion capture is the worst way to make a game. The dinos were animated in the same way Goro was in MK1. Yuck.

Music: Believe me, the SNES versions of the music are MUCH better. The tracks are somewhat primitive, in all senses. Not too bad, but they are light-years from, let's say, Castlevania.

Gameplay: This is where the game shines. Hold a button and enter the command. This is not exactly the way I like to play a fighting game. The fatalities (yes, this game have fatalities) require you to hold LOTS of buttons. You'd better call your neighbors to help.

The game: You choose a dino (from seven, but two are palette swaps) and have to kill all the other ones for Urth conquest (no, I didn't mispelled. That's the way Earth is written here). If you eat some humans, your energy is replented. In the end of the game, you have to battle against all of the dinos again in succession. Very boring. The dinos are: Vertigo, a dinossaur that looks like the Loch Ness monster, with long neck; Diablo, a red T-Rex that spits fire; Sauron, his palette swap; Talon, a raptor-like dino that's just awful; Blizzard, a big monkey that uses ice in his attacks; Chaos, his palette swap that pukes on his attacks (literally); and at last and least, Armaddon, a triceratops that rolls like a bowling ball, which leads me to tell you, brave reader, about the...

Mini games!!!!! They are just GREAT. I almost forgot to mention them! There's one that rolling Armaddon has to strike down some humans. There's another that's a version of human-volleyball. I'd rather drink hot tar than play that. A friend of mine was so shocked that he said that they could be separate games, so fun they were.

Final comment: Obviously this was ripped from Jurassic Park. I HATE motion-capture games. I hate Mortal Kombat too, but that's another story. Fighting games were supposed to be made hand-drawn! The music is this game high point, but that's not saying much. Did I mention the horrible motion-capture graphics?

Would I recommend this? Well, it depends... Did any girl broke your heart recently? If so, rent it. Otherwise, please rent anything from SNK.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 07/02/01, Updated 07/02/01