KISS Pinball

"Gene Simmons would be ashamed...."

First off, I just want to tell you I'm not a big KISS fan, but instead I received this game as an early birthday gift. Anyway, Take 2's new pinball game, KISS pinball, is a big disappointment.

Everything in this game is just wrong, bad, or makes no sense. Especially when the screen tries to keep up with where the ball is going. That becomes an extremely frustrating problem since the camera just plain sucks. You can't figure out where the heck that little ball is most of the game, not to mention the design of the tables really help to conceal the little devil. It's more like taking part in a wild goose chase. The boards are tiny, and the ball is so speedy, it acts as if it was just shot out of a double barrel shotgun. Here's a diary of what happens when you play: You hit ball, ball flies into every corner of screen, you struggle to keep up with the ball, the camera fails to keep up with the ball, your eyes start to hurt, ball goes down the hole, game over, you wonder why you wasted you money.

The graphics are bad, even for a ten dollar game. They are flat, and have absolutely no animation whatsoever with the exception of a few items. The tables, though widely colorful, look as if they were drawn by some comic designer reject. It's ugly at its worse.

The sound? The sound is just about as good as the graphics. The only things you'll hear in the game are your average pinball sounds of ding, beep, bloop, the B-class movie sound clips, and some abnormal metal/punk/rock background music. I would have at least wish for some KISS music, this is a KISS game after all. Even some Gene Simmons voice clips would have worked. I really have no idea why it's called KISS pinball, the only thing kiss related are the face portraits. Not much interaction there...

Only buy this game if you must have it for your KISS collector's paraphernalia shrine or if you just want to burn it. I strongly suggest the second option. Also, never give this as a birthday present to anyone as I had receive this game. They'll hate you strongly.

Rent or buy? Neither, stay far, far away from this game. The ten bucks you would fork over for this game should do the world a favor and be given to charity or some other beneficial cause. Just hope that KISS gets someone better to endorse their future games, if any. If you want good quality $10 games, go look at Agetec's A1 game lineup, those are a lot better and worth more than your money.

Numeric Review Breakdown:
Gameplay - 3
Graphics - 2.5
Sound - 2.5
Replay Value - 2.5
Overall - 3

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 07/30/01, Updated 07/30/01