PaRappa the Rapper

"Like Simon but with annoying paper cutout rappers"

Oh, how cute. A novelty game. Everyone loves this damn game for some reason, but it's just crappy. However, you do get some amusement, mostly by intentionally losing and such. PaRappa is this paper cutout dog thing that wants to be a big star rapper, and he goes to all these places to learn to rap from the unlikeliest of peoples. I guess that 2pac had to learn his rhymes from a karate instructor who happens to be an onion, too. Yeah, right. This is done through excruciating "Press-Button-Now" memorization techniques that harken to that Game From Hell, Dragon's Lair.

GRAPHICS: 2/10. I don't think these should even count as graphics. The guys are damn paper cutouts. I guess this was supposed to come off as cute or cartoony, but it just annoyed me. The backgrounds are just as bad.

SOUND: 3/10. Now let's be honest with ourselves - the rap music is bad, laughably bad. This could be the only saving grace of the game - to laugh at the incredibly stupid music.

CONTROL: 5/10. I guess you can't get much easier than "Press X Button when we tell you to press X Button". This, of course, makes for hideous memorization things which are just not fun at all.

DIFFICULTY: Moderate to Hard, depending on your attention span.

FUN FACTOR: 1/10. I do not find this game fun, except to lose on purpose. Then it's a scream.

In conclusion, if you take games seriously, stay away from PaRappa and its rock sequel UmJammer Lammy. My IQ was lowered from playing this game, so don't make the same mistake I did.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 11/01/99, Updated 04/26/01