Poy Poy

"A game that should serve as a frisbi"

Let's play pretend. Pretend that a friend you know has just ingested a poison, and it says on the bottle that you should induce vomiting. Simple! All you have to do is put him or her in front of their Playstation and put in the game Poy Poy. Within seconds, your friend (and possibly you) will be hurling all over.

Does that sound too harsh? Well, I didn't think it was. Poy Poy is a horribly bad ripoff of Bomberman. In Poy Poy, you pick a character and throw boxes and other junk at your opponents. Also, you get some special abilities that allow you to hit harder. That's about it. Don't get too excited on me now.

In Poy Poy, you run around in a bunch of levels that are about the size of a bedroom in real life, and face off against 3 other competitors that have the brain mass of a lobotomized lobster. Having said that, I shall now analyze what this game is all about.

GRAPHICS: 2/10 The graphics in Poy Poy are unrivaled. ...that is, if it was released for the original NES. Here, they won't do. You have very plain battlefields where your very ugly characters fight. The characters aren't that great, either. Their bodies are very blocky, like that of Virtua Fighter. (However, I apologize for comparing this game to VF.) You know it's bad when you look at a character and you notice their head looks like a shelled peanut.

SOUND: 3/10 The music is chirpy and upbeat, which could be considered a plus. However, the sound effects get very irritating, and when you lose, a cheesy, annoying announcer berates you for losing (But losing is not always your fault. See below at Gameplay).

PLOT: 1/10 Are you kidding me?! You fight for some stupid award in a pathetic story mode which makes you want to snap the CD in half. No need to beat a dead horse.

GAMEPLAY: 2/10 This game just blows. It is very hard to control your character and have them throw their objects straight. Also, even if you win the battle, some really stupid scoring system will almost always award more points to your opponents for their ability to not get hit. This is because you can't throw straight. And you then lose. Arrgh.

REPLAY VALUE: 0/10 Please. After descriptions like that, don't expect anything but the worst. You play it once, and then commit seppuku.

BUY/RENT: NOOOOOOOOO. Neither one is decent. I urge you now, if you bought this game, get a refund. If you rented it, exchange it.

OVERALL: 1/10 If you have been lobotomized or are simply looking for a new coaster, this is for you. If you are looking to pass time, don't play this. This is classified as a party game. Yeah right. Bring this to a party and it will be declared a disaster. For the love of god, DON'T PLAY THIS!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 11/01/99, Updated 11/01/99