Pong: The Next Level

"A Classic Game Now Gone To Waste!"

Pong. The word now strikes fear in my heart. When someone says “PSX: Pong” I will stop dead in my tracks. The soundtrack is bad, the gameplay is repetitive and the levels are boring. Not even the codes are creative. But once again, a game brought back from the attic has failed to please the eyes of mankind.

Storyline: None. The designers just try to spice it up by putting new levels and “wacky” challenges. Plus you’re supposed to fill Atari’s logo with gold bars.

Gameplay ---5/10--- It’s so bad here I try not to think about it. One level is so hard I had a nervous breakdown. But most of the time it goes like this: You move, but the controls are so slow that you zoom past the ball, ball goes in, red gets a point, blue, you, loses. It’s just like that. You need 3 points, usually to win a level, sometimes more, and on their “secret” level for each world you have to do other stuff, from smacking clown’s mouths shut, or entering a code just to get past one. It’s terrible, point in fact.

Graphics ---9/10--- Okay, it’s good here. The graphics are pretty fine. Ranging from your opponent to the colors in the background. It’s all good even though I’ve seen better, I’ve seen much worse, but it’s pretty good. I don’t like, however, the graphics on the level select area. It must have a 10-polygon count; it’s sharp and moves inhuman-like, Final Fantasy VII would be proud. There is one I especially don’t care for, it’s the penguin on the first level, first world. It’s just plain pathetic.

Sound ---6/10---
Music ---5/10--- This is some low quality stuff here, I’m trying to be nice, I might even be giving it a few more points than it deserves. But face it; its musical growth has been retarded. The composer should be dragged out into the street and shot, but not fatally, you then crucifix him. That should work; make him sorry he ever filed a contract. The sounds are off-based, meaning the penguin takes a step; a ball hits it, 10 seconds later the sound it’s supposed to make comes out. I don’t like it; it’s a step back for the evolution of music endeavor.

Buy/Rent? Rent, but only if you’re drunk and grab the wrong game from Blockbuster.

Overall: 6/10. This is not quality. In fact, it shows the world how little we have progressed in the gaming world. It’s almost as bad as Squaresoft’s “infinity”. I’m angry now, plus resentful. I’m going to lie down. See you.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 05/02/02, Updated 05/02/02