Spawn the Eternal

"Not even die-hard fans of Spawn will enjoy this..."

There was a time where a thought Spawn was kinda cool. You know, all that flashy cape-and-chain stuff, the outfit, being dead and fighting the devil himself…well, it appealed to me when I was younger. It was one of those days, I had just finished reading the new Spawn comic (staring at Todd McFarlane’s great drawing) and I came across the game and decided to buy it. Wrong!
This is proberbly one of the worst games I ever played. I guess you could call it another wasted licence:

Graphics 4/10
This is most likely the games highlight…if you could call a 4/10 a highlight. The graphics are bad, don’t get me wrong, but they give the game a bit of McFarlane’s cold, dark, blurry feel of his comic. Of course with excellent games on the market that have far better graphics, this is nothing to be screaming horay over.

Sound 0/10
Pow! Ung! Pow! Ung! Pow! Splat! (feet running across the floor) “Die!” Pow! Ung! Pow! Ung! Pow! Splat! (feet running across the floor) “Die!” Pow! Ung! Pow! Ung! Pow! Splat! (feet running across the floor) “Die!” Pow! Ung! Pow! Ung! Pow! Splat! (feet running across the floor) “Die!” Pow! Ung! Pow! Ung! Pow! Splat! (feet running across the floor) “Die!” Pow! Ung! Pow! Ung! Pow! Splat! (feet running across the floor) “Die!” Pow! Ung! Pow! Ung! Pow! Splat! (feet running across the floor) “Die!” Pow! Ung! Pow! Ung! Pow! Splat!
…hence, repeat…

Plot 0/10
The plot is practically non-existing. To this day, I havn´t found a reason for Spawn’s actions trough this game. There are bosses as you progress, and they are all taken from the comic…the only problem is that they are just picked out at random. The “Hero” (Spawn) never speaks, and the only talking that’s done is when your enemies utter some random “Die!” or “I’m gonna kill you!” remark. There is also no FMV or CG-sequences, which doesn’t help the plot.

Gameplay 2/10
The gameplay is actually based on a pretty good idea, but horribly executed. The idea is that you run around in different areas, and collect these orbs, which help you fight your enemies. The orbs contain some portion of magic, and when you use it, you unleash this power. There are orbs that set your enemy on fire, freeze them, stun them, etc. Using magic costs magic points, and you magic points gauge is a non-regainable, non-refundable number. That means that when you use magic points, you can’t get them back. They’re gone. Forever. Finito. This means that, around the end of the game, you will find yourself with zero magic points, and zero chance of beating the final boss…whoever he is. This could have been a problem, but it isn’t, since it is so confounded hard to even get to use the magic orbs in battle, due to a nerve-wrecking, mind-numbing combo-system. This means that you have to spend 10-15 seconds putting in a combo that will allow you to throw a small stone at your enemy…oh, and remember: if your enemy hits you in these 10-15 seconds, you’ll have to start the combo over…but don’t worry, the enemies will politely sit down and wait for you to finish the combo…NOT! Instead, you’ll find yourself mindlessly mashing square and circle to kick and punch your enemies. The magic points will instead go to healing yourself, which you will be doing all the time, anyway. Hence, again you will find yourself without any magic points when you reach the final boss…whoever he is.

Controls 1/10
Oh god. This is bad. Arrow keys move Spawn in either direction, nothing new here. It is in battle situations things become ugly. The meaning of the combat situation was to make a bloody, and very cool, revolutionary fighting system, such as ripping off an opponents arm and beating him to death with it. Sounds cool? Too bad it’s nearly totally impossible to do. It will require the spoken-of 10-15 seconds of button-pressing, and additionally you have to stand right in you enemy’s face, increasing the chance that you will be beaten into a red, sticky mess before you even press the first few buttons of the combo! Horrible!

Replay value 0/10
There isn’t any. I would be surprised if you would even bother to finish the game once.

Let’s look at it again, shall we? (Not that I see any reason to do so, though…)

-Why should I buy it?

No reasons. Stay away from this one. Avoid.

-Why should I not?

Every imaginable reason! It’s bad…very, very bad.

Overall:

1/10

Again, stay far away from this game. Reading my old Spawn comics gives me the feeling that I should give this game another chance, but I know that this game is best left in my backyard where I buried it. Not even die-hard, hard-core fans of McFarlane’s will enjoy this game.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 12/09/02, Updated 12/09/02