Sim Theme Park

"Great for half an hour or so, but only if the sound is turned off."

Introduction

What a fantastic idea - a sim game that allows you to create and use your own theme park from the comfort of your own home! A fantastic idea that had great potential, but which was wasted. This is a very enjoyable and exciting game to start with, but it quickly becomes boring, annoying and repetitive. Had I written this review after half an hour or so of gameplay, the score would have been substantially higher. As it is, I was generous by giving this game 3/10, and only because it's good to start with.

There really isn't very much positive that I can say about this game, but I really genuinely HAVE been fair in this review, and made a real effort to be as impartial as possible. Please bear this in mind when reading this - I generally don't like to review bad games, but I felt in this case that I ought to.

A special mention is needed for the loading times here. Generally I'm patient about loading times - they are usually longer in games which are, altogether, better. There is really no excuse for them in this game. I cannot understand why it is necessary to load for quite such a length of time for what is a very basic game with substandard graphics and elements, when for similar games the load times are much shorter. Well, rant over, and onto the main review.

Story

There is no story here - it's not needed in the game. The background, I suppose, is that you're building theme parks from scratch with a very limited amount of money, with a view to achieving set objectives in order to open up new areas for development into new parks.

Gameplay - 4/10

The first thing I noticed was the complexity of the menu system involved here. There is a nice keypad display which allows you to see what buttons you should press for various functions, but beyond laying paths, you need to access the menu to do anything. This is where the game really hits its first pitfall.

As you are managing the theme park as near to completely as you ever would in a game, this means that there are lots of options, all of which are included in the various in-game menus. The main problem is that they are not always logically placed in these menus. It can get very difficult to find simple statistics that you need access to - changing the ticket price for entrance to the park for your visitors is the one which stands out the most. This is not something that you would ever get the hang of either - there are so many options that it takes the memory of an elephant to remember where everything is, but the logic of a mindless drone to find things easily (ie - forget all notion of logic which you may have - you won't be using it here. This game has no logic).

Infuriatingly random menu system aside, there's plenty more to the game. For example, once you have achieved certain objectives, you win gold tickets. Each theme park you open has set objectives, which you are given at the start of building the park. You will win a gold ticket for each one that you clear. The objectives typically involve:
1. Attract a certain number of park visitors. This is fair, and to be honest is easy.
2. Make a set amount of profit. This objective is a little trickier, since to keep the money rolling in, you'll need to spend some on staff, building new attractions and so on. There are prospects for evilness in this though, which are mentioned later in this review.
3. Keep the park open for a set amount of time. Now this is the killer, since time ticks by awfully slowly. This is easy to overcome, however, by abandoning the game and leaving it to tick over by itself for an hour or two.

Once you have won your gold tickets, you may use them to open up new parks or to purchase a camcorder (although which electrical retailers accept payment in gold tickets, I sadly do not know). The camcorder can be used to walk around the park as a visitor and see the attractions from an entirely new perspective. That perspective will be one of irritation. There is no access to a map, and things can look very different from the ground. It's very easy to get lost. Your visitors, previously little specks of brightly colored pixels running around merrily, now appear as deranged and frightening effigies of evil. Literally - they are all grinning. At you. The rides are not fun to use as a visitor at all - poor graphics and slow loading mean that you'll be very bored. There are a couple of mini-games that can be played while walking around the park, and these are fun, although they, too, get repetitive after a while.

From the making a profit perspective, there is potential for exploitation here. Some of this is intentional from the programmers, some of it I'm sure isn't quite so intentional. You have the opportunity, in one of the many menus, to play with the quality of products which you sell at your shops. You can load the drinks with ice, fill the fries with salt or simply lower the quality of gifts which are offered at the gift shops, all while hiking up the price. The less intentional method is to sell everything once you're done with the park. Cheating, perhaps - but if you reach the stage of trying so hard to make a profit before throwing this game out of your bedroom window, I would be most impressed at your level of patience.

Graphics - 3/10

The Playstation is capable of so, so much more. This game could easily have been made for a much older system, as far as the graphics are concerned. There is nothing new, nothing old even. I am very unimpressed.

However, despite the appalling lack of ingenuity displayed in the graphics, what little there is here is aesthetically pleasing. Nice, bright colours will appeal to children and drunk people alike (who are the only two groups of people I would recommend this game for). You could argue that cutting-edge graphics are not needed, but honestly, this is so far below cutting-edge that I really can't be nice about it.

I won't even go into how bad this game looks as you walk around the theme park as a visitor (that grinning gave me nightmares), although I do appreciate very much that it was quite innovative to include this option and I am sure that a lot of effort went into this mode.

In-game advice system - 0/10

I am literally cringing as I write this.

Theme Park would have scored higher overall, and probably been better as far as gameplay is concerned, if it wasn't for that ant thing they have advising you, and later insulting you and demanding increasingly outrageous offerings.

By ''ant thing'' I mean literally that - a thing that looks like an ant. Sometimes with a hat. You cannot switch off the ant-thing, nor can you play the game without hearing his comments. Not only do you get written advice and demands from him, he also speaks loudly over the music to issue his demands which range from increasingly the quality of food at your food shops (regardless of whether the quality is actually set to maximum already) to training your employees. The presence of Mr Ant Thing is initially not so bad. However, the programmers did not include any variety of comment at all - there seem to be set issues that he always raises, and a very limited number of ways in which they are expressed. This is a major irritant - why on earth can he not simply be switched off through the options menu?

Sound - 0/10

Bearing the above in mind, it is unsurprising why sound scores a complete zero for me. The music sounds very much like a xylophone - you won't hear much of this though, since virtually all you will ever hear is Mr Ant Thing telling you a ride has broken down and you should send an engineer to fix it.

Background sound effects include babyish giggling and screaming, but little else. Turn the sound off, that's my advice.

Replay Value - 2/10

If you can stand it, the replay value isn't so bad. As it is, it's a very long game anyway and not one that will be quickly finished. You do have some 10 hours absolute minimum of game time here, so long as you can stand it. There is plenty to keep you occupied in that you'll be able to play without just seeing the same thing as before repeated, but the only question is whether you'll want to.

Bottom Line - 2/10

Potential for greatness, squandered. This game would be best appreciated by children, although it might be too difficult for younger children to appreciate it since it's quite complex when you get to the menu system.

Don't buy this game until you've tried it - I absolutely hated it, but you should give it a try since you may not agree with me. If you can try it for free, all the better. Just make sure you've opened your bedroom window before you throw it out.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 03/31/03, Updated 03/31/03