Panzer General

"I played this game in April..."

...oh and hated it... Panzer General is a strategy game, let me break it down for you.

Game Play:
Panzer General’s game play is bad. REALLY BAD! This has to be the WORST game play I have every seen in a game. Want to know what it consists of? Well first off, think of the board game risk. Now take out the third dimension and make it flat. Now you move on hexagons (six sided, instead of squares, which I think is better).

Then you select things and move them, Oh joy! Once you get into a “fight” you go into a battle screen. By fighting I mean lame video overs of things fighting each other that you have no control over.

Other than that, you have to protect or kill the other side, how cool. Well it is a war game...

When I was a kid, Playing with my Army guys was more interesting, the element of surprise of a bazooka guy popping out of a book/tent was much more exciting than this game, hands down.
Horrible

Challenge:
This game is actually pretty hard. Hell I had trouble beating the first campaign. I am not giving this game a bad review just because the first level was hard, but NO game’s first level should be this hard.

Also you can make a wrong move on your first try and mess up the whole entire rest of the campaigns...

Great

Control:
The control is actually perfect in this game. It is a strategy game in the first place and there is NO FAST THINKING at all. Of course this means nothing in depth, but what does that matter?
Outstanding

Story:
Story? Well you should already know this games story. All of this stuff happened in real life! Well, there really is not a story when you think of it. Nothing trilling about beating this game either.

No cheesy love stories, like Private Ryan talks to Lieutenant Tiffany, oh wait, love stories make war games suck... Well they needed more killing.
Lacking

Visuals:
This game sports the WORST graphics I have ever seen for a play station game. I honestly looks like a Super Nintendo or a Sega Genesis could make a direct port of this game with no load times.

The maps are just green layouts with things like mountains as if you were looking at a ninth grader’s geography book.

The characters and soldiers look like if you played Army men (In real life with those hard core plastic figures that manly children played with, not that other game) on a sandy table looking though binoculars backwards.

The gun fire is dumb and looks really cheesy.

I think I made better war scenarios drawing on napkins at pizza hut with crayons.
Horrbile

Audio:
The tunes in this game are all old fashion and piss the hell out of me! The music should at least help in boring games like this.

The effects are alright, but not as good as they should have been.
Average

Re playability:
I could not sit down and stomach this game for more than twenty minutes, I do not know why some one would play this game to beat it.
Bad

Pros:
No more wet rings on your coffee table, since this makes a great coaster.

Cons:
Graphics are god awful
Boring
And everything else really.

Rent or Buy:
I would not even borrow this game! The only reason I play this game is because some body let me borrow this game by accident. It was still in part of its doubled care. I play this game and got pissed at it. So I carved “This game sucks” in the bottom of it and gave it back. He told me his grandmother gave it to him and he was mad, but it’s all good.

Final Rating:
I am giving this game a one out of ten. This is one of the worse games I ever played. Sorry if it sounded like bashing the game, but it really is that bad.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 10/14/03