Bubsy 3D

"Want a nightmare?"

Picture this: -

You are alone with a real hot chick in your room, you want to make a move but you also want to see if she will first, so you slowly close in slowly looking into her eyes thinking what your gonna do to her next, then in the corner of your eye you see your game shelf, all the classics like Final Fantasy right down to Golden-eye just telling you go dude go sort her out and then by sheer accident you look at the dreaded bottom shelf, where games have no limits and go insane, you look right at the back and you see the thing that is laughing at you, that game is...Bub-sy 3D, next thing you find yourself telling the sex goddess in your room you have homework, WHAT NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Graphics:
If the game itself isn't enough to make you scared, im afraid to tell you this is not it. The graphics were too bright and too choppy and too happy, Bub-sy is a bright orange ugly looking cat running around in all sorts of hugely bright environments, make sure you wear your sun glasses while playing this, i even read a review on eb-ay for this game let me laminate on that: -

*bub-sy 3d for sale w. free sun glasses, £24"

Looks like hes just selling the glasses for £24 and getting rid of the game for an extra ray in-case the sun isn't out, in my mind this game shouldn't come without glasses, unless you want to have bad headaches and be burnt head to toe.

Game-play:
Phew here goes, quite simply put there is no word for the game-play some im gonna say: "Stella stone", thats my new swear word thats the worst insult you can give a game and im giving it to this game. (Stella created a game called big rigs for p.c *note: crap*) The game-play mainly consists of you, a cat, bub-sy running around and talking to question marks and getting killed by enemy's, while failing to attack back yourself, enemy's all so don't attack you as you have to initiate battle, but that don't save you, chances are you will die on the first enemy, so if you a gamer who likes to play games to the end use the cheats cause there isn't no other way you are seeing the ending, put it this way i died on the first level and then kept dieing and dieing and dieing until i pulled the game out and said this is stupid, got the disk, put in back in upside down to see if it would make a difference, of course it didn't, even unplugging your controller wont help the stiff controls or the dodgy camera angles, you have to stop to change direction how crap is that?.

Sound:
Ok blatantly put the sound didn't become a factor, i had the mute button on the whole day and it actually made the sound better then what i thought it would be, so i just thanked god i didn't hear that as-well, the fact there was no sound actually gets this game its one point.

Replay:
Nope don't say that word around this game, because your lie-ing to yourself and others, once you have done this i am 100% positive you will wonder why you did it and you will wonder what you achieved, you will then wonder other questions that can make a man go insane, like why do monkeys have hair all over there body's?, why do trees grow from the ground, why am i asking myself these questions, if you get to that stage you will prop-ably end up in a lunatic asylum, asking why am i here at 1pm every day, the only thing you get from completing this is respect from me, because i couldn't get past the first level.

Buy?, Rent, Eat:
The only reason i can think to buy it is.... god i cant think of one, there is no reason, oh unless you want all your games to be better, because this will bring what you think of all your games up 5 points on a game faq board, thats all i can think of because its to horrid of a game to be anything but a coaster.

Bottom Line:
Don't give anybody money for this thing, even if they throw in a egg whisk or a drinking flash with a half bottle of vodka in it, trust me it is not worth it, because you can go down the shops and buy the egg whisk and flash with vodka for much cheaper without the game, these people think they will get full price for this assterpeice, if they throw a little extra in, trust me do not touch this game without plastic gloves, because this game will infect all it touches, stay away from bub-sy 3d, its not even worth the effort or time.

Low Down
Starting at 10/10 - 1/10
Negatives:
Bad Graphics: -3/10
Bad Game-play: -3/10
Bad Replay: -3/10
And just overall HORRID -30/10

Positives:
No sound: 15/10
Nonexistent nowadays (hard to find): 15/10

OVERALL: 1/10

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 06/16/04