Ganbare Goemon 2

"Screw "The Last Samurai"! THIS tells the story of how Japan defeated the West."

Let me clear up one thing: I am a history nerd. I study it in my spare time, make various references to it, and get into arguments with various history teachers. But, I NEVER knew that Europe sent an army of bunny-suited men to conquer the Land of the Rising Sun. I do now.

Ganbare Goemon 2: Kiteretsu Shougun Magginesu tells the noble story of 4 samurai(well, 3 ninjas and a samurai) fighting to save their nation from European Imperialism. Kinda like the plot of "The Last Samurai", except the heroes are a psychotic Robin Hood-esque fellow who fights with a tobacco pipe, a somewhat "flamboyant" ninja who whacks things with paper fans, a robot ninja with dual knives, and a green-haired, vaguely sexually suggestive female samurai. And the Europeans are a bunch of weirdos who wear bunny suits and fight in giant robots.

But, let's cut to the chase:

Graphics: 8.7/10. The graphics in this game, while not the best the SNES can do, are very good. Detailed sprites, great Mode 7 effects, fantastic 1st-person robot battles(I'll get to them later), and still-frame cutscenes greet you.

Sound: 10/10. Goddamn, this music is great. There are a few levels that stand out(The Goofy Woods and Dragon Lake come to mind), but overall it's excellent. There's even a little bit of VA.

Gameplay: 9/10. Classic platforming. There are 3 characters to use(Yae, the female samurai is not playable, but makes several apperances), lots of different enemies, creative bosses and alternate routes to take through levels. My only complaint is the characters are unbalanced. Namely, Ebisumaru(the "flamboyant" fellow mentioned earlier) is totally useless. He's slow, jumps like an elephant(elephants can't jump, by the way), but has a long reach. I played as Sasuke(robot ninja) through 98% of the game, only using Goemon(Pipe using chap) for the the 3rd-to-last level, and the final boss.

Now, the coup de grace: The 1st-person robot fights, where you jump into Goemon Impact(a perpetually smiling, rolling war machine) and roll out to fight those bunny-suited jackasses. After a lengthy intro movie, and a creative sidescrolling "town destruction" sequence(Where you destroy people's houses, farms, and some other robots for health and ammunition) you fight one of Magginesu's peons, piloting another mecha. These fights bring back memories of Punch-Out, with 1 button for left punching, 1 for right punching, and 2 for blocking(1 for each side), and 1 button for shooting ryo, your "gun"(What a waste of money...). There are different strategies for each mecha, especially the last one, where you have to use EVERYTHING in your arsenal to defeat him.

Originality: 12/10. Yeah, yeah, improper fraction asides, this is one of the most bizarre games I've ever played, and I loved all of it. It's a historical plot, warped to absurdity. Giant mechas, gambling, midget Elvis impersonators, sumo robots, fried shrimp, vaguely effeminate ninja, and crossdressing "Meishas"(My term for "male Geishas") are featured in this game. It's awesome. You know you like it.

CONCLUSION: This game belongs in anybody's collection. Import it, buy it, emulate it, whatever. JUST GET IT!

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 05/01/06