Super Adventure Island

"Trust the man wearing the leafy underwear! He is wise!"

One cannot hold people as tough as Master Higgins without a high level of respect. Setting out to search for your girlfriend with only your leaf underwear, an axe, and a lot of hope is an enterprise most men would weep at(especially when the jock itch from the grass boxers kicks in. Real men bear the pain.) Trust me, the ''Master'' is well deserved.

GRAPHIcs: With the nice little outline of the story provided for you right at the start, and the cool Mode 7 effects between level outings, Super Adventure Island impresses right at the start. Higgins is a rather large character, and he and all the rest of the enemies are brightly colored, if animated somewhat slowly. The level backgrounds are as rounded, detailed, and Super Nintendo-y as you please. Oh yes, and the cuteness factor has been pumped up for this title, with big fat walruses and silly looking blue lizards on balloons as part of the enemy lineup. But the cuteness factor never reaches ''irritating,'' so all in all the experience of watching this game is a pleasant diversion, and one might even overlook the rather badly textured flashing fruits and power-ups. Maybe the only reason I notice these things is because I play it emulated, which invariably has you looking a bit too close to the screen. Still, it bugs me for some odd reason. That and the lack of variety in the water levels(But then again, how much variety can you have in a water level anyway? Lots, but I'm getting off track here.) Generally, each level is different from the one before, unfortunately, the differences are nothing particularly spectacular, with only the added graphical capabilities of the Super Nintendo to distinguish them. On the other hand, the added

MUSICal capabilities were used exceedingly well. No, you don't understand how awesome the music was. It's like they took the MIDI processor out and stuck in a marimba, some island whistles(wonderfully introducing the first level) and a whole bunch of rockin' tropical-themed stuff. And then they got a guy who actually knew how to put that stuff together! Seriously, this music RULES. It's not that it's awe-inspiring, or even all that hummable, but it's got a beat that makes you want to get up and dance! I remember a game magazine from way back when describing how cool the music was, and admittedly this was my only reason for downloading the ROM and checking it out. Those professional reviewers valiantly tried to explain how good it was, but NOTHING beats experiencing it. The island beats are just too cool for even today's games! Trust me, you wanna download the ROM just to listen to this cool stuff! Also good if you want to start up a nice little party at your house(when video game music gets a party started, that's when you know society's gone insane. But if they locked me up in a padded room, I'd still rather be listening to this than that elevator crud they call ''modern rock.'')

GAMEplay: Simple beyond belief. Devilishly hard beyond your vocabulary of swear words and your inventory of spare controllers. Well, actually it's not that bad. But this is one of the original platformers that came with the NES, and all of you have evil memories of THAT system. Higgins can duck now, and jump up really high from his duck a la SMB2, but that's about the fullest extent of his new moves.(Still, Mega Man didn't even get THAT privledge. You should be happy we gave you the jump and the gun, silly blue robot!) Yes, there are jumps that have to be carefully timed(everyone's favorite) Yes, many evil enemies will try to hinder those jumps, preferably when you're slipping on ice so you can't change direction.(I HATE ice. Next to spikes and bottomless pits, it's one of the greatest banes of the platform gamer. Avoid it at all costs!) Yes, you die in one hit, and have to find your weapons again after that(fortunately, they're pretty numerous...the designers weren't that evil.)You can get either axes or boomerangs(boomerangs, fool!) which upgrade to flaming versions of themselves(no, not that kind of flaming, even though Master Higgins is rather tempting in that regard...uhh, I've said too much.) You have to constantly pick up fruit, as the corpulent Higgins can't jog for more than 30 yards without fainting from the strain and having to stuff down another piece of fruit. Kiwi, bananas, grapes...well, at least he ain't gonna need any laxatives, that's for sure! There huge, well animated bosses every few levels, with an almost impossible last boss(until you figure the pattern out.)Are you an RPG fanatic? Do you avoid the arcade shooters like the plague? If so, stay as far away from this game as possible. Are you a REAL man? Can you handle a lot of pain? Are you able to shrug off seeing Higgins die repeatedly due to your incompetence? Can you grit your teeth through the jock itch from the all-natural underwear? Then go forth and play this game, young student! The SNES cart's a little rare, the emulated version anything but. Get boppin' to the island beat and check the game out!

Nintendo Logic: Okay, now the bad guy in this game is just sadistic. Normally, villains just kidnap the girlfriend of the hero for profit or love or something like that. This guy turns your girl to stone and leaves. Nothing in particular, just a random spiteful act. Now that's EVIL. Especially considering you're the only two people on that island. I'd definitely be mad enough to haul my belly out and get there, even through those small blobs that kill you when they brush against the hair on your toes! Or the little gray flies that have been responsible for many a fuming session. And yet even though Higgins keeps getting beaten down by things he's sixteen times bigger than, he always hauls up his paunch and tries again. Cuz' for his girl, he's goin' the distance. You, of course, will use save states after you replay the second or third level five times. Makes it look SOOO easy...

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 07/12/00, Updated 07/12/00