Earthworm Jim

"Are you groovy enough to worm your way out of this beautiful mess?"

Being an earthworm is tough. Not only do they live in dirt, they eat it too. But Jim is no ordinary earthworm. You see, he has discovered a special suit that bestows upon him a more humanoid form, capable of wielding a fully automatic firearm and taking a beating like a real man. Groovy!

Anyway, the suit was built by a Professor with a monkey for a head for Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt (yes, that's her full name) to rule the world with. But being a ginormous slab of slug booty meant that she was obviously was a couple of dress sizes too large for it. Soon enough, though, someone tries to steal it and is chased to the outer reaches of the universe. A struggle ensues and as a luck would have it, the suit eludes both parties and drops down to Planet Earth and the joyful earthworm named Jim just happens to bounce right into it. Now both the suit and Jim himself are on the evil-doers' most wanted list. As Earthworm Jim, you have to stop the vile overlordess from taking back what's rightfully hers, prove that you are more than just a mere earthworm (which you aren't), and probably save the world and a few galaxies while at it.

If it all sounds a bit far-fetched, I promise you that you will be balking with fits of laughter soon enough. Earthworm Jim is a ridiculous hero so it's only fitting that his video game is just as preposterous. (The animated show was quality comedy, for sure.) The first level, New Junk City, already advocates idioticness. As Jim bounces around the tyre-ridden yard, he'll have to contend with pesky crows and frenzied dogs who want a piece of worm flesh; he does so by letting them guzzle down the bullets from his trusty blaster instead! Or he can use his own body as a whip of sorts to lash out at them, even swinging across from hook to hook like a badass Castlevania hero. It's not too long before you meet your first cow and a dangling fridge. Whip the latter up good and it'll drop down below onto the makeshift see-saw and launch the cow into the stratosphere. See, I told you this game doesn't make much sense.

This can also be seen in the boss battles. The junkyard operator is a greasy fella who manipulates a crane to drop trumpets onto you, and he occasionally belches fish as a more direct offence. There's an evil cat who manages to separate you from your suit leaving you defenceless. That is, until you avoid his explosive shots directed at you until he inadvertently destroys the very platform he resides upon and gain back your mojo. And how could I forget Major Mucus: a filthy green piece of snot who takes battling to the extreme . . . extreme sports, that is! You both are attached to an apparently elastic cord and you both engage in the exciting thrill of bungie jumping. However, only one can survive and so it's a fight to see who can tackle the other into the jagged side-lining walls enough to sever their life-line. Oh, and there's a big fish at the bottom hungry for either disgusting meal so you can't get too careless either.

Earthworm Jim is one the most memorable games ever. You now know how the outlandish wit makes it so, but there's also another reason – this game is frickin' hard. The controls are all there, but the responsiveness leaves much to be desired. Jumping over enemies can be quite the exercise, especially since you really do want to avoid being hit around the place by a string of highly damaging hits. Firing isn't too bad, but it sucks how you can't gun down enemies while airborne. However, the whipping is just atrocious; you can aim in five directions, but more often than not you'll miss your target which means 10% off your life or instant death in some cases.

There is also this one excruciatingly difficult bit where you have to guide an aquatic vessel through a cragged tunnel – this has got to be one of the hardest video game stunts ever. Not only does multiple crashing shatter your protective craft into millions of glassy bits (i.e. game over), but if you're too slow, you run out of ventilated air. So you need some brilliant dexterity to outlast this 99 second ride, which for the love of me was near impossible. I'm pretty damn sure that I managed it without as much trouble about ten years ago, though; perhaps it's just old age.

There aren't many other Annelida heroes out there like Earthworm Jim. Perhaps this is a good thing too. But Jim managed to take some seemingly boring ... material and flesh it out with an in-your-face nonsensical personality that works a charm. A crazy cast of characters exists with such delights as Pete the Puppy who you'll have to guide across hazardous landscapes, whipping is butt to send him flying into the air to cross pits and avoid the clutches of incessant enemies. Let him suffer a terrible fate and he'll transfigure himself into a hulk-sized infuriated purple freak who will proceed to tear you into little worm bits. Not nice. Then there's Psycrow, the psycho crow who challenges you to intergalactic space races (really just a tube race) in between each of the dastardly difficult levels. This is probably the least interesting aspect of Earthworm Jim since the humour is a bit mellow, but it still is a fun, albeit brief ride of an intermission.

If crazy and funny and downright ridiculous had a name, it'd be Earthworm Jim. His first outing is definitely a groovy game with plenty of creative level designs, quirks and inventive boss battles that include a monster made of rubbish, a veteran piece of gooey snot, and of course the final queen ***** herself in all her quivering, pulsating glory. There's a lot to love here if you're into this sort of nonsense; the only problem is whether you're groovy enough to hack the punishing difficulty and see it through to the end.

VERDICT – 8.0/10 I swear this game was easier when I was a kid . . . maybe I'm too mature these days . . . doubt it ;P

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 11/09/07

Game Release: Earthworm Jim (EU, 01/26/95)