Super James Pond

"Uh...no, please, do yourself a favor and don't play this!"

People have always liked James Bond. He's so smooth, and he always gets the ladies. So of course, there would be rip-offs of him. One of these was James Pond, some sort of fish. Of course, Super NES owners were happy cause he never made an SNES appearence...but when he did...well, it sucked.

In this game, you play the role of James Pond, some weird land fish who has a mechanical stretching body. Santa Claus has been stolen by some guy, and it's up to James Pond to rescue him. The main area is the North Pole, and you go through doors and end up in different worlds. By beating all the worlds, you get to fight that guy who kidnapped Santa (his name escapes me, but it's pretty stupid). James Pond has a wide variety of attacks, consisting of walking, running, jumping and stretching. When you hold up, you can make James stretch up infinately, and grab onto ledges above him. And when you jump, you can hold down and crush enemies, which is his main defense. The worlds consist of lame, unoriginal places like Toy Land, and Candy Land. Basically, this is just a super long game where you jump on enemies, and get bored to death.

The graphics of this game are colorful, too colorful. Everything seems super bright, and it gets pretty annoying after a while. If you let James stand in one place, he does a really gay dance, which mostly just infuriates you. The music is also too happy, and it makes you wish you were deaf...well, almost.

Overall, this is a game made for little kids. However, little kids won't enjoy this either, as it's VERY long, and it's frustrating in some parts. The game takes hours and hours to beat, and there's no save or password feature! What's up with that? I once forced myself to beat the game, and I realized that a chunk of my life had been taken away, and that I'd never get it back. Overall, just stay away from this game. It gets VERY repetitive, as all the stages are almost the same, and it's just too happy for me. If you have a little brother, try giving him this on his birthday as a joke. He'll promptly pawn it off, but it'll be good for a chuckle.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 11/01/99, Updated 08/07/01