J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings Volume 1

"A pathetic excuse for a game, in my opinion."

Hello everyone, and what a crowd we have tonight!! First on schedule is the review for one of the worst SNES games ever, Lord Of The Rings! *crowd hisses* Yes yes, calm down. On with the review!! J.R.R. Tolkien wrote The Hobbit, to very wide acclaim. it was a VERY popular book, folks. But that wasn't enough, no sir. He also wrote the Lord Of The Ring series, which, if at all possible, got even WIDER acclaim. I love those books by the way, people, and the movie, too. Anyway, in Tolkien's lifetime, there was very little merchandising. No games, no movies, no nothing. Then he died. And then Interplay comes along. They throw together bad graphics, a mutilated plot from The Fellowship Of The Ring (the first LOTR book), impossible mazes, no clue where to go next, and the dreaded password system. Anyway, on with the review.

Graphics:

For 1994 graphics, not bad. Some of the areas are pretty realistic. For instance, take the plains outside Hobbiton. Someone obviously spent a lot of time on that. After they designed all the outdoor graphics, Interplay probably hired someone new to do the character graphics. I mean, the only difference between Frodo and Pippin is that Pippin has a hood. Then they used Pippin's sprite for Sam, but turned it red. Interplay also operates on the theory that no one will notice if they re-color the monsters and proclaim them ''different''. I start at nothing for this score, add 3 for the plains, and two more for the mist on the Barrow-downs. 5/10.

Music:

Oh my gosh. This music ROCKS. I went into shock when I heard the title theme. Also, the dungeon music is appropriately creepy. Gives you a deep foreboding about what's around the corner. The music in Hobbiton isn't too bad, either. Most of it does the job, but a few tunes are pretty awesome. 7/10.

Sound:

Let's see here. We have a weapon sound for when the characters block or slash, a death sound that sounds so real that it's scary, a very cheesy sound for when the characters get hit, the same death sound for EVERY creature in the game, and a message-scrolling sound. Yep, folks, that about sums it up. Please, Interplay, a bit of variety!! 3/10.

Story:

Unless you've read the books, you'll have NO idea what's going on. If you haven't, you'll get confused rather quickly. ''Rivendell? What the heck's Rivendell? And who's this Sauron guy?'' Sorry if I'm a bit lacking on the subject, but the data they used for storing the dialogue used about enough space for one of those braziers in the cave outside Hobbiton. 1/10.

Control:

You can only control the main character, people!! And guess what? They have the brainpower of flies. Yep, that's right. They don't attack. They just stand there and get killed. Another 1/10.

Gameplay:

Gameplay can be summed up in ten words. Go into dungeon. Find item. Gain character. Repeat until victory. People, these dungeons are frustrating mazes. They just keep getting bigger and bigger. And you have to collect these ''Gateway Gems'' because you ''need to open the gate to Moria''. No, you don't. The gate is *always* open. And the one who completes Moria is either insane or devoted to anything related to Lord Of The Rings. Get lost there, and you're spending a year that way. And then there's an insanely tough enemy at the end with a cheap attack that takes out half of your characters in one hit. Then the game ends abruptly. 2/10.

Replay:

Six words. Who'd want to play this again? 0/10.

Resolution:

Interplay probably thought that Lord Of The Ring fans would be stupid enough to buy anything with ''Lord Of The Rings'' printed in size 72 print on the cardboard box. Not so. Don't buy this game. Don't rent it. Stealing would be an option, since the person you stole it from probably wasn't even going to play it anytime soon. However, it's illegal. Anyway, people, it isn't worth whatever you do to get it. Avoid at all costs. This is a trap. Thank you. *walks off the stage as the crowd cheers him on*

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 12/05/02, Updated 12/05/02