Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City

"Not sure where he gets all those balls from..."

Way back in 1997 Nintendo Power magazine celebrated its 100th issue. In it, they had the Top 100 Nintendo games of all time list. Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City did not rank on that list. Rather, this ancient Electronic Arts game placed among the Top 10 worst list, right next to Beethoven. Why? Because it a really bad game. Why is it a really bad game? Well, I guess you'll just have to read the review to know that, now wouldn't you?

Okay, from the moment you open the instruction booklet, this game just reeks of inane stupidity. On the inside cover there is a picture of the game's development crew (a monkey smoking a cigar, Ernie the Elf, and Squigy from Laverne and Shirley) standing beside a cardboard cutout of Air Jordan. Ugh.
Now here's the hard part- turning on the game. Place the cartridge into your Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Push up the Power bar. Good, now you've got it!

Story:
An evil scientist kidnaps the entire Chicago Bulls basketball team (not sure why he didn't capture MJ...). When Jordan shows up at the stadium, he finds a ransom note. Instead of calling the police, he does what any good-minded citizen would do- he heads to the catacombs of Chicago and fights basketball-zombies and robotic spiders by throwing an infinite number of basketballs at them. This story, much like Star Wars Episode 1, was written over a three-day weekend. Labor Day Weekend.

Gameplay:
The gameplay consists of finding keys, opening doors, switching levers, and shooting hoops. When you kill off an enemy coins can show up. Get enough coins and you can earn keys. Or perhaps keys will just show up. You can use them to open doors- what a novel concept. Behind the door you will find one of many things- a teammate, an enemy, a coin, or a power-up.
If you power-up your basketballs you can slam dunk them into a basket. There are many different kinds of baskets, including a glass one that will shatter when you dunk in it. What you get from dunking baskets are opened doors, coins, power-ups, and unlocked exits.
Honestly, the gameplay is rather fun.
Score: 7

Graphics: Average at best. Jordan is poorly rendered, but moves in a realistic manner, dribbling as he walks. The backgrounds appear shotty. Not much to say. If you've seen a 2-D Super NES platformer. you've seen Jordan.
Score: 6

Controls:
The game's biggest flaw. The controls make absolutely no sense at all. Y does..what? X is shoot..wait..right? They are nearly impossible to get used to, with a learning curve that lasts approx. the entire game. I attribute this to the fact that there are very varying gameplay elements (like shooting baskets). Very poor jumping as well. For a man known as Air, he jumps like a drunken pygmy.
Score: 2

Sound:
The FX are great, although repetitive, The ball makes a dribbling sound, enemies go ''UH!'' when they get hit, and levers go ''click.'' Yeah.
The music, however, is stale and also very repetitive. I find it difficult to play this title without turning on mute.
Score: 3

Synopsis: You might be thinking, ''Hey, it doesn't sound all THAT bad. Maybe even a little fun.'' Well here goes the clincher. You can't save. That's right, you can not save your file in this game. How right Nintendo Power was...

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 12/14/02, Updated 12/14/02