Mario is Missing!

"I dub thee, the worst game i've ever played!"

One question came to my mind after playing this game recently, Why the heck did I ever buy this horrid game? Now, I’m pretty tolerant with games and give good scores sometimes when they should get a little lower, but a 1 is what this game deserves. It’s Is SO BAD it’s not even funny. Even the graphics are worse than it’s pathetic attempt to copy, Super Mario World.

The developers of this game must have been drunk when making it; first of all you CANNOT DIE. Even when fighting enemies you can’t get hit, you may simply stroll across them like nothing is happening, you can hurt them, but they can’t hurt you. All you Super Mario World fans remember the world map right? The thing with little dots where each world is, well in each “history age” they have a world map. In this world map there’s is the location of everything and they try to add the Super Mario World map over the top of it making it look like a city map with a bunch of dots all over it, You’d have to see how ugly it is.

In a usual game you start out at one level then make it to the next, then the next and so on, but in Mario Is Missing! You get to choose which level you start in, not that it matters because you’ll never beat the game because of the boringness.

The age this game is intended for is 5-10, but with the stupidity of the puzzles no person that age could figure them out. After you collect the artifact back and give it to Peach you have to answer a couple questions to prove it’s the real item, they do give you a little background information, but half the question’s answers are nowhere in the text they provide you.

If there is sound good sound in the game I must have missed it. The only music I heard was the same tune in EVERY LEVEL! It is so irritating that just that factor will make you want to throw you SNES out the window and smash Mario Is Missing! With a sludge hammer (I’ll aid you too). I’ll never think of Mario music the same because of this game (horrid repetitive song rings through my head).

You know how that most NORMAL DECENT games have a file save feature? Well Mario Is Missing! Does not. I mean it’s ok in mega man, because, well It just works for them, but in a game where there’s more than 10 minute’s of game play in a level on average you need to save in the middle, not some save feature to have the level beaten.

As for length, who knows how long this game really is, I think about 4 hours, but you’ll never even play that much I guarantee without crushing the game into little pieces and then smashing them again. All I can say is you’ll never beat the game so the length nor the replay really matters.

Overall a twenty-year-old would have more fun watching Tele-tubies than a person playing this game. Every aspect SUCKS SO BAD THAT YOU’LL WANT TO CRUSH IT!

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Graphics: 4
Sound: 1
GamePlay: 1
Controls: 10
Educational Value: 1 (none really)
Length/Replay Value: ?, you’ll never beat the game, it’s too horrid
OVERALL: 1/10

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 04/20/03, Updated 07/31/03