Alien vs. Predator

"Guaranteed to bore you to kingdom come..."

''Alien VS Predator'' has always been a long time favourite game of mine. I used to love blasting away the drones and arachnoids using Major Dutch Schaefer's smartgun or spearing and slicing away at anything within reach with the use of the deadly vicious-looking spear weapon of a Predator Warrior's, or even a Predator Hunter.
Even the movies were great, especially ''Aliens'' and the ''Predator'' series which I just loved to watch marines getting eaten alive by the terrifying aliens with long banana-shaped heads with a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth, or watching an invisible XT lifeform stalk some poor hapless victim, and ripping out his/her spine later just for the need for earning trophies to take home.

However, my review is not based on this old, but classic 1994 arcade game or the movies in which I grew to love that I used to watch a few times as a child.
Instead, it's simply based on a SNES game which had gone horribly wrong from the start, and is filled with somewhat daunting errors that have made this game so terrible to even play with, let alone watch the introduction of it.

Storyline: 1/10
Storyline? What storyline!? Apparently, miners have from a planet called New Shanghai (or something like that) have uncovered a whole batch of eggs that contain alien life form of some sort, and the colonies are mulitplying very quickly, so they sent a distress call to Earth.
This call was intercepted by a bypassing spacecraft which happened to be.....the PREDATOR'S of course!
They were in search of a worthy game to hunt, and deciding to put off hunting innocent humans for a while, they settled on hunting the Aliens for a more lasting sport. ''Alien VS Predator'' has always been a long time favourite game of mine. I used to love blasting away the drones and arachnoids using Major Dutch Schaefer's smartgun or spearing and slicing away at anything within reach with the use of the deadly vicious-looking spear weapon of a Predator Warrior's, or even a Predator Hunter.

Controls: 3/10

Obviously there were a fair amount of problems with the gaming-controls and besides the fact that the Predator has to activate his shoulder-cannon just to blast away at a single alien creature or even defeat a boss.
And if that's not enough, what about the controls themselves? Unresponsive and sluggish as hell is the best way to describe it.
The more I tried to come to terms with it, the less I liked the game itself.
Gameplay: 1/10
The gameplay itself was simply horrible... not to mention the great lengths you have to go through and the slow, sluggish, and unresponsive control you have to use to get through the boring levels. Horrendous.
Even the first stage was disastrous: you're obviously a Predator who has to hunt aliens, and upon the first 3 steps, he starts blinking! What the hell is going on here!?
This is a very bad and annoying effect on the game, with the continuous 'blinking' effect as though you are invincible but what's more, you're not.
Even by picking up a very simple item such as a throwing disc or a spear can suddenly cause your character to start blinking, and leave you wonder what the hell is going on, in which in my case, is what I did.
You may think that throwing spears and discs would be cool fun, but in any case, you're wrong.
Why? Because by time it takes for your Predator to bring his arm up to heft his spear, aim, and practically FIRE the damn thing, at least 3 aliens would already have ambushed you from behind or tackled you onto the floor.
The same thing applies for the shoulder-cannon, and I ask you...is that fair?
You can't even initiate your secret cloaking device so you can remain invisible while you stalk your enemies as a HUGE minus, but guess what? This 'blinking' effect isn't all that there is...within halfway through the first level, your character's sprite suddenly becomes COMPLETELY erased off screen, you can't see what you're doing, and you can't tell if you're engaged in battle or not.
This department URGENTLY needed to be worked on, but as I assume, Activision must've thought: ''it's fine by us, let some other sucker worry about it'' and completely ignored about fixing this disastrous problem.

Graphics: 1/10
Very bland, unexciting, dark, and enough to bore me to sleep for the rest of the day.
Practically 50% of the levels encountered are all dark, dreary and so uninteresting that mediocre is DEFINITELY the place for it. Especially the sewers. And the snow level.
The colours used were of extreme poor quality and not even the bosses encountered in this game were enough to convince me that this game was fit to be trashed for eternity, or moreover, sold for 10 cents at some cheap jumbo-sale.

Music & Sound-FX: 2/10
There was barely anything to be heard while this game was being played, apart from the mediocre sound of the Predator firing a laser from his shoulder-cannon which sounded like one of those lasers from ''X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse'', only more pathetic.
As for the music...well, I didn't really notice any while I played, only the occasional sweep of the Predator sliding to trip up the aliens over and over again.
At least that's a GOOD bit, tripping up the aliens by sliding over and over again on the floor, but of course, doing it is simply too slow to even bother unless you have the patience to comprehend to it.

Replay Value: no way, DEFINITELY NOT.

Overall: In truth, I despised this game. Totally.
I thought that this game would be fast, action-packed with aliens at your tail at every corner of the game, loaded with cool items and weapons you can use to defend yourself with, but what do you get?
A cheap, horrible, horrendous, VERY SLOW, repulsive, awkward, and disappointing game filled with dark, dreary levels with not a single spark of brightness anywhere, 'blinking' sprites, slow animation, sluggish controls, and mediocre graphics that are enough to make you choke on your own vomit. Or rather, throw your game out the window, as an afterthought.
If you REALLY want a fast-paced action 'beat-em-up' game, then I'd suggest you play the 1994 arcade classic, ''ALIEN VS PREDATOR''.
Guaranteed to have you thirst for some REAL action, wage war against the aliens, and is made by the ever-famous game company that published all the Street Fighter series, and Mega-Man games: CAPCOM.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 05/05/03, Updated 05/09/03