3 Ninjas Kick Back

"Another Malibu "classic"..."

After the incredible Bebe's Kids, you would think Malibu Games would have some difficulty topping that effort. Fortunately, they've set the standard for lousy, boring action games once again, in the completely forgettable... uh... whatever the name of this game was.
This is one of those games that you rent simply because everything good is checked out. It looks slightly promising, but once you play it for five minutes, it broods silently on a shelf in a dark corner, forgotten by both you and the rental store. Now, mind you, this isn't the most horrible game in the world; it would actually be better if it was. It's just so bland, so boring, that there's absolutely nothing to distinguish it from the rest of the platform gaming genre.
3 Ninjas treats you to some of the most uninspired levels in gaming history. After trekking through the same forest five times and fighting the same stupid ninjas the whole way, you play a lame bonus round and watch pathetic excuses for conversation.
The control isn't anything to complain about, surprisingly (although it was slightly tighter in the Genesis version). Three different characters attack upwards and to the side, throw bombs, swing on ropes and grab the bottoms of platforms, and let off special attacks with minimal frustration. This is a moot point, though, since most self-respecting players will hit the power before the conclusion of the first round.
Sadly, I must admit I played this game through to the end, and it gets slightly better after the mind-numblingly boring initial stage. I haven't played Normal or Hard mode yet, and I really doubt I ever will. Any game with a level titled, ''OOOOOUUUEEE Nurse Shibuya'' isn't going to spend much time in my house.
If you ever do happen upon this game anywhere, it might not hurt to pick it up out of sheer curiosity. I've never seen it in a store or a magazine, for good reason. It's remained where it should have since its release: oblivion.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 01/28/00, Updated 02/22/01