Brain Lord

"And I thought 7th Saga was bad. . . Shame on Enix"

Introduction

I've played many a crappy game, but quite frankly, Brain Lord is up there with the worst. I tried my best to like the game, I swear, but this game simply isn't worth the fifty cents I shelled out for it. Why? Well, continuing on down . . .

Graphics

At first glance, I thought that Brain Lord's graphics were perhaps average. Then, upon further investigation, I found that the graphics were strangely similar to another one of Enix's masterpieces, 7th Saga (and by ''masterpiece'' I mean ''crap''). While the two games came out in a very short frame of time, I do not feel as though that excuses any amount of unoriginal graphics.

Taking the unoriginal factor out of the picture, in some areas of the game, the colors are very bright and alive, whereas in other parts of the game, the colors and textures are very much bland and unoriginal. In other words, while in town I feel as though I am walking through an area that could very well be a real place, but while I'm in the dungeons, I feel as though someone puked all over my screen. This type of inconsistency makes it very difficult for me to decide whether the graphics are good or not. I suppose it's somewhere's in the middle.

Graphics score: 4/10

Controls

The controls in Brain Lord are definitely above average. However, while I do not feel as though my hands are being raped while I'm playing, I do think that perhaps Brain Lord offers a very typical control set-up that may take some getting used to. Overall, however, I am very much satisfied with the layout of the buttons and such.

Controls score: 8/10

Story

The story in Brain Lord is nothing you haven't seen before. When you were a kid, your father, a ''dragon warrior'' left for the Tower of Light, a place where allegedly one of the last remaining dragons lives. Now, once you're grown up, you take it upon yourself to find out whatever happened to your father and this Tower of Light. Whoopy! Another story revolving around the existence of a dragon and your father's disappearance. How original, Enix! I mean, I've certainly never heard of that before.

... Yeah right. In any case, as the game goes on, you find out more and more about your quest and your father and such. Not to spoil anything, but quite frankly, there are absolutely no plot twists that one couldn't see coming from a mile away, if you could consider anything that happens a plot twist at all.

Overall, Brain Lord offers a very uninspired, semi-unoriginal story that a monkey could've easily thought of. I will give it some credit, though, because it was made some time ago.

Story score: 3/10

Gameplay

In Brain Lord you play an overweight (perhaps?) teenager/young adult male character. Meh. While first scraping the surface of the game, it would seem to be very much Zelda-esque, and even upon digging deeper into the game, it remains largely as such.
You play as a generic hero, who begins with your typical copper sword. As Brain Lord is an action RPG, you must simply walk up to an enemy and hit the attack button. Your weapon will go out and hit them. *Yawn* Needless to say, this gets a bit repetitive, especially once you learn how many hits it takes from a weapon to kill an enemy. Also, your life meter simply consists of a life meter at the bottom of the screen, which is pretty much just a bunch of lines. Sometimes you will pick up hearts that allow you to expand this meter.

As the game progresses, you will pick up a wide assortment of items, ranging from swords to boomerangs. Each weapon has it's advantages and disadvantages. For example, the axe has a very short range, but is the most powerful type of weapon in the game. The sword on the other hand, generally has a great range, but less damage than the axe. You can see how this works.

Armor, on the other hand, works quite similarly. Light armors allow you to move much faster and easier than their heavy counterparts. However, light armors offer you less defense than heavy ones. While this is a concept you've heard before, I do not believe that I can recall a game with such a system before Brain Lord. Whoopy, Brain Lord gets some freaking brownie points.

All in all, however, you'll soon find yourself bored with Brain Lord. It offers very little that hasn't been done before, and as a result, I must say that there is no real point in playing.

Gameplay score: 2/10

Sound/Music

The sound effects and music in Brain Lord are, like most things in the game, average. While sometimes fast-paced and uplifting, I feel as though the music gets very repetitive and difficult to listen to. More importantly, there are no melodies that stick out in my memory. The sound effects are annoying and unbearable at times. Several times I thought as though my ears would start bleeding from all the awful noise in the background. Because of this, I cannot give Brain Lord a very high score.

Sound/Music score: 4/10

Fun Factor

If I wanted a Zelda Clone, I wouldn't play Brain Lord. I'd play Zelda. Duh?

Conclusion

Brain Lord is nothing you'll want to play, most likely, unless you're a diehard fan of either the Zelda series and related games or Enix. Otherwise, stay away from this and buy/rent something else.

Total Score: 3/10 (Gameplay is everything)

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 02/01/04