Nickelodeon GUTS

"D-d-d-do you have it?"

One of the best game shows to ever spawn from Nickelodeon's golden era in the early to mid-90's is atrociously immortalized in this game for the Super Nintendo.

For those unfamiliar with the show, GUTS was a game show on Nickelodeon where preteens competed in athletic events for points, a medal and if they won -- hold on to your seat-- a piece of the AGGRO CRAG, a giant fake mountain these kids would scale in the final round of the competition. It was basically "American Gladiators" for the kids. Without steroids and spandex, one can only hope.

Anyway, back to the video game. You compete in two events and then climb the AGGRO CRAG, unlike the show where there were four events. The first event is an "Elastic Sport" and there were three options: Attack (where you throw a ball with a lacrosse stick into a big net), Spirals (where you throw a football into a big net) and Slam Dunk (which is self-explanatory). Unfortunately, you had no choice in which game you picked because the computer selected it for you.

The second event was the obstacle course, which was downright ridiculous. Not only was it too hard for most children but the action that took place in the video game version would require repealing the very laws of physics. For example, double-jumping (jumping into the air and then pushing yourself even higher off a non-existent surface to get higher). Pretty big pressure for a boy/girl not even old enough for puberty, I say.

Finally there was the AGGRO CRAG. What GameTek was smoking when they developed, I'll never know. The activators you needed to push were in one of two locations: on a platform that took multiple tries to get on to or a ledge that had nothing below it, except the ground so if you missed you get to start ALL over again.

However, if you had the GUTS (or should I say X-treme patience) to get a high enough score to win first place, you get the gold medal and a giant, glowing piece of the AGGRO CRAG.

This game is not all bad, I should point out: no elastic jungle or pool events, no product placement by sporting good companies and best yet, no Mike O'Malley trying to save his career as an F-list celebrity with his God-awful one-liners.

Final score: 2

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 06/09/05