Packy and Marlon

"This game may do more harm than good."

*Chapter 2: To be or not to be ? That is the enigma.*
After Vyse the determined built quite a reputation in the real world, he decided that it was now time to do so in a totally different realm. This realm provided Vyse with challenges he never knew existed, and obstacles most people can't overcome. A realm that distorts reality and throws faith into questioning, as no one can be fully trusted. This realm was known as the World Wide Web, or Internet for short. At first, Vyse had some difficulty adjusting to his new surroundings, but like any good trooper, he hung in there, because the gaming community depended on him. After living in the harsh environs of the Internet for a year, Vyse shot up in rank, and is know considered one of the most legendary gamers on the net. After achieving such status, Vyse considers informing the public of bad or misleading games as one of his civic duties. Was this meant to be? Who knows, but in any event, march on Vyse! March on!
(To be continued)

This time, I'm discussing an educational game. Educational games were (and still are) a pathetic attempt at blending often boring educational tidbits with the mind-numbing addiction of gaming, creating something that was somewhat fun to play, and was somewhat informative, varying from the theme of the game. They were dubbed, “Edutainment”, and because of how one-sided Americans can be at times, you can only guess that the genre is bashed beyond belief. Naturally, as unintelligible as some people are, these games were made for them in particular, but of course, we tend to bite the hand that feeds us. Of course, educational games aren't nearly as flamboyant as most standard or even mediocre games of other genres, but with my many experiences in the gaming world, I've come to accept that. The games are geared for children, and therefore, they don't need all the luxuries that games geared for maturer audiences demand. Therefore, when I review games in this category, I have to look at it from the developers point of view. I have to wonder what message they were trying to convey, how well they did it, and then interpret it from my end. Here's a review of “Packy & Marlon”

GRAPHICS: 3/10
Packy & Marlon was brought over by Raya Systems and was made in 1994. Forget for a second that the game looks bad, you know, as a game. The game even looks bad for an educational game. Barney's Hide & Seek (Genesis. Edutainment) and the Mario brand educational games (Varying platforms (Snes/Nes). Edutainment) look way better, and while graphics isn't so much required, you have to remember that this is a kid's game. If things don't have SOME level of detail, kid's start to lose focus. Packy & Marlon is Nes at best, and when you have to collect different kinds of food and you don't know if it's a “Hamwhich” or just plain old Toast, you have a serious problem. The graphics are sparse on every level, with choppy, stagnant animation and highly unimpressive backdrops. The developers PROBABLY thought the emphasis should lie within the play mechanics and not the presentation (which is probably right), but even some of the most mediocre developers know that you should have an attention grabber. If the first five seconds of the game blow, then people lose interest, and the project becomes a big waste of time and money. Mediocre is all I can say. The only positive thing I can think of, graphically speaking, is the water on the “Water” levels. Obviously not groundbreaking, but it's the only aspect of the graphics that didn't reek in it's entirety.

STORY: 6/10
Most people will say I've lost it now. Whatever. At least I have a reason for why I feel this way about P&M's story. Here's my take on it. The game doesn't really have a story (You're a elephant stopping evil mice.Meh). Most games like this I tend to give a 0-1. However, while this game doesn't have a story, it has a topic of discussion: Diabetes. The general emphasis of the game is to inform others about diabetics, BG (Blood Glucose), and other symptoms and features associated with diabetes. As such, the game is fairly informative in that department. There are many random questions that are generated with varying difficulty to broaden your knowledge on diabetes and without sounding like too much of a hypocrite, I feel that this scenario is okay. It gives factual information (For it's time. Some info may have changed. It's 2006 now) and the message WAS to spread the word on diabetes, which they have succeeded in doing to a degree (Although not too much. The game is in fairly limited supply).

If you haven't guessed it, this game is just like those “Bible” games, except it talks about health instead of religion. One bad thing about the information the game provides is that some questions are vague, leaving the impression that some have more than one right answer. Others are opinionated, and shouldn't have a right or wrong answer to begin with. Then some of the questions are far too repetitive in nature, and generally have the same answers, leading me to believe that there isn't much to know about diabetes (When I'm sure that isn't the case). In the end, there isn't much diversity in the questions given and the information that's presented. I believe this is so doctors with phds and the like don't get a run for their money. Many valuable tidbits were omitted for this purpose, because at that time, doctors still didn't know everything there was to know about diabetes, so in the event that the information was false, or lead to someone having adverse effects (Such as I heard with milk. It was said that milk is good for us, but sometime later, they think it may have something to do with breast cancer in women), the creators can't be held accountable.

A wise maneuver, if anything, but it leaves questions that need to be answered, and because they generally went bankrupt (Don't know why) anyway, it wouldn't have mattered if they held this information from us. In the end, they left all the important information with the doctors, so they can charge you an arm and a leg if you do become a diabetic. Heh, it's funny how the world works. Regardless, it has basic information about diabetes, and the elements of science that are associated with it.

SOUND: 3/10
Yet again, this category is just too mediocre, even given the genre. What does an educational game need to have presentable sound? It doesn't need quality or aesthetic beauty according to Raya Systems and everyone else responsible for this game. I'll even go as far as to agree with them, but if that's the case, what does it need? All it needs is to be CATCHY, but they even failed in that endeavor. You see, children are fascinated by repetition, so if you had a couple of repetitive, catchy tunes, you'd have kiddie gold. This is what I hear anyway (I'm not inclined to agree), but they couldn't even make catchy tunes. Instead, they make a random assortment of crappy tunes that sound 50% Nes, 10% SNES, 10% Genesis, and 30% “Good Lord”. The end result is a plethora of crappy BGMs that can't be appreciated no matter how hard you try. If I had to guess, I'd say the music creators are tone-deaf, which doesn't help the gamers any. The music is just as bland and uninspired as the graphics, and you'd think with my standards set so low for this genre, you could expect something decent. 2/3 IS bad (Graphics, Sound, Gameplay).

GAMEPLAY: 5/10
It's for the kids…kids…kids…SO, how DOES this knowledge help us any!? Well, it doesn't really, but then again, there's plenty of pointless info all over the world, so what else is new? Most people who play games aren't infants (which is why this genre is so impractical), but for those who do end up running into a game like this (Mostly collectors), this review is an oasis in the desert, cuz I'm about to save you some money. Considering who this game was made for, I can tell you right now that it's far too complex (except for the genuis brat variety). This game doesn't just make you play with a pair of diabetic elephants, you have to BECOME a diabetic. What this means is that you have to measure how much insilin you take, watch your BG (Blood Glucose) level, eat the right foods, find the proper exit items to fight the boss, answer diabetes based questions, and only then can you play the mediocre platformer that is Packy & Marlon.

So what happens if you don't live a healthy life style? Well, different foods provide different amounts of servings to a number of categories (Toast to bread, Milk to…Milk, Cheese to… Meat (!? What the hell happened to “Diary”, or at least milk? Programming fault…….), etc.). You must also monitor which foods you eat, as different foods will change BG accordingly. You must play through the ENTIRE game this way, because if you eat too much, or not enough, your BG becomes too high or too low, and you must repeat a stage over again.

As if this wasn't enough, you have to worry about the time of day, search for exit items, and shoot or pounce hordes of enemies (if you jump on them, you may get hurt. Jumping hit detection is pretty bad, and even shooting isn't perfect). You keep a log of you BG, so you can monitor and approximate how much food you should eat, and while you navigate the uninteresting landscapes, you can familiarize yourself with the idea that all this just wouldn't appeal to a kid, and barely an adult. True, even I learned some things I didn't know from playing this game, but let's be serious here. Most kids don't have the mind to play a game with this much scope. Most kids will either avoid all the items or collect them all, and most kids can't comprehend most of the things this game discusses. They'll play the first few levels a couple of times and give it a rest.

It's not their fault though. The developers of this game were just thinking outside the box, and while that may have been appreciated in just about any other genre, the focus of this game is lost to most kids. More well thought out children's games like Barney's Hide & Seek (Contrary to popular belief) thought out such possible faults, and made the game as simple, colorful, and “fun” as they knew how. It even incorporated simple Barney phrases, and if your kid isn't so skilled, the game even BEATS ITSELf with time, so even a loser can feel like a winner (Believe me, there's nothing a kid loves more than to win).

Ultimately, this game is a waste of time (other than the info). The game has two power-ups (Peanuts and Water, their only difference seemingly being power) and despite how technical the game is, it only uses two-buttons (Other than Start+Select). The only saving grace about this game other than info and numerous fundamentals is the fact that you can play with a friend. This gives it an edge, as opposed to most educational/bible games because when a kid plays this with another kid (assuming another would want to play), it creates a competitive atmosphere, and the kid doesn't feel like a complete loser playing alone. Playing a dry game together as opposed to playing a dry game alone is almost always better. That's pretty much all I have to say about Packy & Marlon (Oh yeah. The game has a craptacular ending.).

TO BUY OR NOT TO BUY?
No. There are a lot of better educational games. Besides, this is one of the most pricey ones because it's fairly hard to find. If it's 5-10$, and you want to make or break somebody's day, then go for it. Otherwise, go read a book to find out about diabetes.

OVERALL: 4/10 (Rounds up)
Packy & Marlon is mediocre, but I can tell you now that I haven't bashed this game. It's subpar even for the genre, and it's safe to say that it's a waste of time. I've heard that there are even worst Raya System games than this one, and I can't wait to get my hands on them so I can spread the word (Hmm…maybe I should review one of those bible games). If I've learned anything from this game, it's to be grateful. Some of the bad games I've played over the years look good after this experience. Until next time, this is Vtd.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 02/23/06