3 Ninjas Kick Back

"If ninjas were like these 3, puppy dogs wouldn't be afraid of them"

I have always said, games based off of a movie, a book or a TV show will stink. A game marketed towards girls will stink. A game marketed towards girls and based off a book, movie or TV show, well, even Satan isn't that cruel. That said, this game proves my theory with out fail. Everything about this game is sub par, from it's "graphics" to the "music" to even the game play. You'd think that, with it being based off a semi decent movie the story would at least. It's really off putting when you realize that when a character in a video game says "LET'S MURDERLIZE 'EM!" they're actually talking about you and not the enemies in the game.

Let's start with the things that you'll notice right off the bat, the graphics and the music. Now, I realize that this is a relatively old SNES game and that they were working with limited tools back in the day. However, there is no excuse for your characters to look like deformed monkey children with constipation. There were absolutely beautiful SNES games, games that still today look spectacular. This game makes you wonder if the designers were even aware they were programing for the SNES. The one good thing I can say is that everything is easy to locate and discern on screen. The environments, while not exactly sharp and vibrant, don't bleed and run together. You can actually see what is killing your good time and brain cells. Other than that, the enemies lack variety *think 5 different color of ninja and 3 types of generic "goon"* the backgrounds are all the same. The entire first "world" the back ground is just a canopy of leaves. Second "world" you're in the ninja house hold and then you go underground. So now you've got leaves and stone to look at!

As far as the music selection of this game goes, you're better off just turning down the volume of your TV or Computer and turning on a CD player or MP3 player. A person can only take so much of the same note over and over again. It's not even a good note either. It's too heavy for the tone this game is trying to make. You're a ninja, all bet a tiny preteen ninja, but a ninja none the less. Having a heavy thumping sound follow you around isn't exactly very ninjaish. The few voices added to the game will make you fall out of your chair laughing and holding your tummy. They're just that bad.

Now, Game play. You'd think that with thousands of plat formers to base your game off, you could at least imitate and copy a good game and make your game playable. Instead, we are greeted with obstacles you're basically forced to hit, enemies going through walls with projectiles, jumps that superman would be hard pressed to make and several "instant death" parts, you have to wonder "Is the grandfather of the 3 ninjas that pissed at them? or is he just a sadist?" By the 10th time I was killed by an enemy I couldn't reach and/or see, I was a little peeved. The one good thing they did add, was a pretty decent selection of power ups and a very easy extra life system. You gain an extra life after you collect 100 coin like things or when you reach a certain score. Plus, there are infinite continues. Not that you'll use them all *you're more likely to throw the controller down before then* but it at least balances out the cheapness a bit. The power ups are spread through out the stages fairly liberally, which is a good thing, since they last all of 10 seconds.

So by now, you may be asking just how the story is in this game. I mean, it was a movie, so they should have just taken the movie script, added a few extra parts and "whamo!" we've got a game. Well, no, not exactly. The story seems almost random. At first, you're training as your grand father leaves for japan for a ninja tournament that he must judge and preside over. Then, you're forced to find his dagger and sword he left back in the states, the same dagger and sword that are prizes in his tourney, so you must collect them and bring them to him in japan. Finally, you're taking part in his tourney. The entire time, he's trying to kill you. Gee, thanks gramps. As if puberty wasn't trying enough already.

All in all, this game is a massive failure. Between making your ears bleed to killing your brain cells, this game seems less like an attempt at entertainment and more like some sick joke. There's really not much more to say other than that my boyfriend and I got a good laugh at the cut scenes and corniness of this game in general. If you find a ROM of this game, go ahead and get it for a few cheap laughs. If you actually own the cartridge or find it somewhere and you need a door stopper or have a wobbly chair, buy it. Other than that, let this stinker die and fade into obscurity.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 04/07/06