Wii

"Revolution? Not so much"

Let me start off with something before everyone sends in the death threats. I have a Super Nintendo, N64, Gamecube, Game Boy Advance, and Nintendo DS. With the exception of the GBA (only the original Tetris keeps me on that... but that is another story) I love them all. I still play my N64 at least once a week. Seeing how everyone thought the Wii was so awesome, I decided to go out and buy one. I've owned it for about a year now and all I have to say is... I'm not impressed. Why? Read on.



Design: 8/10. I cannot fault the Wii for its design. Nintendo obviously made a strong effort to design a tasteful piece of hardware here. With its sleek white case and minimal flair, it kinda reminds me of Apple products. Sitting in the horizontal stand, it is a little hard to fit into my TV cabinet, but it still looks great. I have no reason to suspect that this console will not be durable, although at times I've experienced loud clicking noises that I never heard on my Gamecube.



Graphics: 6/10. People embellish the truth when they cry "WTF THESE GRAPHICS ARE SOOO LAST-GEN!". Owning both a Gamecube and a PS2, I can confirm with conviction that the Wii's graphics are definately better than anything in the past generation, barring only the Xbox when it is plugged into an HDTV. However, that said, they are not spectacular, and I am left feeling that a lot of games really under-utilize the processing power of this unit. Too often, games rely on excessive bloom to look good (need I point further than Mario Kart?), when attention to realistic lighting and texture detail should be the focus.



Operating System: 9/10. The Wii firmware does its job, it looks simple and attractive, and I have yet to run into a single problem. The channels idea IS very innovative. Nintendo obviously had some skilled programmers working on this.



Sound: 9/10. Sound from the console was practically flawless, as is to be expected from disc-based systems. The speaker on the controller does its job most of the time, delivering small little sound effects, but sometimes game developers expect too much out of something that has a sub-1 inch diameter.



Media and Hardware: 6/10. The Wii has 512 MB of internal storage and uses Wii optical discs, which hold over 8 GB of data if the dual-layer variety is used. What is the problem here? 512 MB is way too little internal storage. No internal storage was no problem with the Gamecube, but seriously- on the PS3 and the Xbox, you can download a plethora of custom maps, betas and game demos, and you can load an absolutely huge amount of your personal media to watch back later on your console. How much trouble would it have been to include even a 40 GB laptop drive, Nintendo?

The Wii optical disc offers no significant advantages over dual-layer DVDs, perhaps only helping Nintendo to keep their iron grip on standards. What it does do is hamper the usefulness of the system, since the Wii cannot be used to play back DVDs, or hell, even audio CDs for that matter (tried it myself- when I put it in, the system just makes loud clicking noises)



Controller: 4/10. Nintendo lead us to think that the motion controller was going to be awesome. The gaming magazines and websites told us it was going to be awesome. And when Eric Cartman froze himself to play Nintendo Wii on South Park, we were all lead to believe that this was a pretty big deal. Correction: we thought it would revolutionize gaming.

There's a reason why the humble mouse and the unassuming controller reign supreme. It's called reliability. Even wireless controllers and mice are reliable, with an uninterrupted radio connection between them and their respective system (Console, PC, Macintosh, or Supercomputer). Like the wavebird for the Gamecube, or like my wireless laser mouse. The Wii remote, on the other hand, jumps around like an over-excited York Terrier. When pointing it at the screen, it will unpredictably drift or jump to the other side for no reason. My guess is cheap accelerometers and unreliable motion-sensing technology.

The controller was pretty cool when I first played it in Wii sports, but then I discovered that I couldn't use it to make any special shots- ie Topspin in Tennis. As a result, I went out and played real tennis instead. Wii sports collected dust. It is impossible to use in shooting games, because the behavior is so unpredictable. Even in Wii Sports, it is not sensitive enough to register a light putt on a golf ball. And to boot, it chews through batteries like there is no tomorrow. My wireless mouse lasts several months on a pair of AA batteries. I'm lucky to get two weeks out of my Wii. The only place where I didn't want to throw the Wii remote through the window was in Mario Galaxy, where motion was used but was minimal. Wario Ware: Smooth Moves was more heavy on the motion control, but did not over-use it. Most of the time, whenever I can, I find myself using the old Gamecube controllers.



Games: 2/10. This was my true "WTF" moment. The games on the Wii are terrible. Period. There is simply NOTHING ORIGINAL going on here! Most of the games are uninspired ports from other consoles. As much as I love Zelda, Twilight Princess was released primarily for the Gamecube, and plays better on the Gamecube (Link is supposed to be left-handed, Nintendo). It's a PORT. Animal Crossing: Wild World is just a port of the DS version, only this time the world rolls along at 60 frames per second, and you can go to an afterthought place called "the city". lol. PORT. Same goes for Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Aside from the much-needed addition of Pit and Snake, this is a PORT of Melee from the Gamecube. Even Big Brain Academy, straight port from the DS.

Any games that are not ports tend to be terrible. Cooking Mama? Gimme a break. Sims? Dammit, I hated that even on my PC, and it does not play well on the Wii. And the virtual pet games are by far the worst. Buy a real hamster and do something rewarding with your life. By and large, many games are aimed at VERY casual gamers. I don't consider myself to be "hard-core", but I do want a challenge, and many of the games on the Wii simply do not offer that. I suppose you get bigger profit margins creating these lame games and selling them for $50 than you do for putting months, even years into crafting a masterpiece. Where are the Epics?

Nintendo has even begun to chip away at its own franchises. Mario Kart DS was probably the best one ever made. Period. In fact, all the Mario Kart games have been amazing. But Mario Kart Wii goes a step in the wrong direction, with poorly programmed and cheating AI. Nintendo ruined Rainbow Road for me (it is no longer a challenge, it is just annoying) and just made a lot of the other courses drab and uninspired. That said, I like Mario Galaxy a lot, since it had very good level design, and Wario Ware: Smooth Moves is fun to play with some friends. So far, those are the only two Wii games I actually enjoy!



Conclusion: 5/10. And that's being nice, because what really makes a console is the games, and the Wii fails here. I've noticed it on the DS too: seriously, when was the last time a truly amazing game was released for the DS? Something that really dragged you into the experience? It's been a while. I would be hard pressed to say that moment ever came on the Wii. And don't say you were not pissed off with Nintendo's latest showing at E3. The system had great potential, but I think it is being killed by a lack of willingness to develop at Nintendo, simply because there are so many apologists.

As for my Wii? I'm probably going to sell it. Once I beat Mario Galaxy there was no point in keeping it anymore. I will use the money towards a powerful Lenovo T500 laptop to play StarCraft II once that comes out (and the original StarCraft in the meantime). The only consoles I ever truly liked were the Nintendo ones, because they were unique. They had a sense of character. I will never give up my Gamecube, or my N64, or my SNES. They are Classics and always will be. But things change. Now Nintendo is even trying to restrict the sale of used games. Seeing the direction the industry is turning in, I'm tempted to say the future lies with the PC.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 07/08/09

Game Release: Wii Hardware (US, 11/19/06)