Conker: Live & Reloaded

"It's gonna be one of those days..."

For those of you who don't remember the classic, Conker: Live And Reloaded is a remake of the original game Bad Fur Day, which was one of the last N64 games to be released. It was actually one of the best in my personal opinion. Now that Microsoft got their hands on Rare's drunken little protagonist, the game has never looked better. The catch this time, however, is the Xbox Live multiplayer modes. In multiplayer, you take the side of either the SHC (Squirrel High Command) or the Tediz (German "Bad-Guy" Teddy Bears) in an all-out war. Now, I've played through the original game several times, and I know pretty much everything there is to know about Conker and his dirty little world, and I've already beaten Reloaded twice now. In the following, I'll be giving a more in depth look at the twisted, vomit-induced, British comedy classic. "Eat lead mother buzzer!"

CONKER'S BAD FUR DAY:

He's cute, he's cuddly, he's got a hangover, and now he's completely lost! That's the story folks! After a night of heavy drinking on his 21st birthday, the little squirrel stumbled out of the bar only to find himself among the most memorable characters that will curse you out. So what makes the game so special? Not only did Rare ditch the cutesy bull they had with Banjo-Kazooie, etc, they gave Conker a mature makeover, tossed him in a world of cursing, vomiting, blood, and singing poo. What's the difference between Reloaded and it's counterpart for N64? Plenty.

First off, we all can plainly see there has been a HUGE graphical update. Certain parts of the game seem so realistic that you wonder if they are photographs. But subtle differences were placed in there for the hardcore fans. A good example is the training area at the start of the game. Originally Conker gets a frying pan to smack a gargoyle on the bridge (blocking his route), causing him to fall to and allow you to go on. This time, however, the training is a bit more in-depth, where it teaches the new control scheme (controlled much like Halo) and the gargoyle isn't so easily taken out. There is also a new cut-scene added here, which brings me to my first flaw.

If the guys over at Rare wanna do some more scenes, that's wonderful! But at least make the character's voices sound the same way they did 4 seconds ago! Even if you're new to the game, you can easily tell what's been redone. Chris Seavor (voice of Conker) must have had something wrong with him that day, or lost the knack, cause Conker's never sounded like he does in the redone scenes! The gargoyle is the same story! One minute he's got a gruff voice, next he sounds like a completely different character kicked him off the bridge, then impersonated him. Bad call Rare! I expected more from you guys! As far as added cut scenes go, there really aren't any. The training was really the only difference in the story.

When I said there were a lot of differences between the games, I wasn't lying. I meant little things such as changes around the world itself. The weapons Conker uses throughout the game are different altogether. Many characters look way better than before, and enemies appear in places they hadn't originally. It's nothing really special unless you REALLY payed attention to the other game like I did.

Remember the so-called "option to make single player uncensored"? Doesn't exist! Instead you get a mode called "Potty Mouth" used only for Live and multiplayer modes. Cheap rip-off that turned out to be! In the original they allowed the "s-word" and more vulgar terms to get through. Now they even censored the words that we got to hear in the supposed dumbed down version. The game is EVEN MORE CENSORED THAN THE N64 VERSION! Last time I checked, the N64 was being called a "kiddy system".

I'm going to throw in a quick final thought for Bad Fur Day's Reloaded. If you've played the original N64 game, stick with it. You'll be happier without the Xbox version. If you really desire a prettier version with a FEW meaningful changes, give this one a try. I did find some of the cut-scenes made the character seem more glitchy, and I forgot to mention the worst part, that loading screen that pops up after every area and cut-scene change. It comes up at the worst possible times to totally ruin the effect the original game had. In other words, just find a copy of the N64 version! Reloaded isn't bad unless you've played the original, so it's your choice.

LIVE AND RELOADED:

What Bad Fur Day lacks in the "new and inventive" department, Live And Reloaded comes up strong by delivering a pretty fun online (and offline) team-based shooter. Offline you will be joining either the SHC or Tediz on either side of a war that spans over 200 years and somehow managed to flow directly into the ending events that occurred in Conker's Bad Fur Day. This mode is called Chapter X. Keep in mind, Chapter X is really the only fun you will have offline because it follows the story pretty well.

You'll have a better time on Live, whereas it's more team death matches than just trying to reach the end of the level before the enemy kills you in the bloodiest way possible. As far as characters go, you get different character classes with different strengths and abilities. The classes are Grunts, Thermophiles, Sky Jockeys, Demolishers, Sneakers, and Long Rangers. I personally don't care for these options because of the huge lack of diversity. When playing other shooters, you can switch weapons on the fly. Live And Reloaded makes you completely switch classes, causing you to respawn at the point of your choosing. Why is this? Because each character gets their one and only weapon they started with! I have to say that some of the abilities the characters get, such as being able to self-heal, cloak, and feign death can really come in handy. The only characters that I find to use the worthwhile abilities are the Sneakers. I won't go into huge detail on each class.

Let me break Live And Reloaded's online play down for you really quickly. You will join your friends or just anybody in death matches, team challenges, etc. The problem here is that we've seen this all before in other games, and done much better I might add. The deaths are bloody, the language is uncut (if you've beaten Bad Fur Day at least once), but that doesn't make for a great game. While the multiplayer is fun, you'll find yourself getting bored trying to rack up points for some online unlockables (which by the way can only be unlocked while playing Live. Don't try to earn these points on Chapter X because it's meaningless). There really isn't much else to say. Multiplayer is sub-par. I've had multiple arguments online with other players on whether it was worth it, and to be perfectly honest, it's not! Keep in mind, I'm a hardcore Conker fan, but I felt pretty let down.

I'm basing my score on both games as a whole.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 01/22/08

Game Release: Conker: Live & Reloaded (US, 06/21/05)