Dead or Alive 3

"Finally, a game that will be a hit on sex appeal alone."

Lots of games have used sex appeal in the past, such as the Tomb Raider series, to sell games. So far I have not had a problem with any of these games, because there has been great gameplay underneath. Capcom's fighting games have had some gorgeous women-- Cammy, Morrigan, Felicia-- all in very scanty outfits. But you know what? Street Fighter and Darkstalkers are terrific games with good gameplay, and lots of depth.

Finally, we have a piece of utter trash that will become a huge hit simply based on its sex factor. What's worse, it will also help further the sales of the terrible X-Box. And it's all because the majority of gamers have developed an increasing habit of making their purchasing decisions with the wrong head. It's sad, and it's proof positive that the gaming industry is becoming more focused on glitz and glamour rather than honestly good gaming experiences.

Dead or Alive 3 has really great graphics. Beautiful graphics, possibly the best I've ever seen for a fighting game. But the thing is, I don't care. With DoA3, I have officially stopped caring even a WIT about graphics. I can sit down with my Game Boy Advance, most of the games for which resemble 16-bit era graphics, and have a far more engaging experience than I could playing DoA3. Yes, the game's environments are nicely rendered. Yes, the FMVs are spectacular. But does any of this matter if you're not having fun?

And then there are the women. Oh, such women. They put Lara Croft, Tifa Lockheart, and, lets face it, most real-life swimsuit models, to shame. In truth, if it weren't for the women of DoA3, I wouldn't have ever played the game. My friend bought an X-Box solely based on his excitement (ahem) at seeing the commercials for DoA3-- not to mention the game and three extra controllers. Translation-- he spent $450 on a hard-on. Yes, the women are gorgeous. You will love watching them in their scanty outfits, with provocative poses and bouncing breasts, suggestive and sometimes downright revealing endings. And then, if you are like me, it may dawn on you-- ''Why not just watch porn?''

The simple fact that seems to have escaped my friend and many like him is that we do not (at least, not until recently) play video games to get our rocks off. There are other ways to do that. And if Microsoft wants to push a mediocre fighting game at me with gorgeous women as the selling point, they're going to have to find another customer. However, they did still make a calculated decision, because obviously massive portions of the gaming community are going to be ensnared just as they had hoped.

So let's talk about the gameplay. It's stale, it's unoriginal, and it's completely unchallenging. I thought SoulCalibur was a bad button-masher until I played this game. DoA3 requires so little skill that every single person who I have seen sit down in front of the game has beaten it within 15 minutes. Within a few hours we collected all the endings and moved on to the multiplayer mode.

The multiplayer mode is as cheap and dry as the story mode. Anyone who gets lucky smashing buttons down can win, and there is no reward for practicing faithfully with a single character to learn her moves. Add to that the fact that the control layout is abysmal, and it's really just a crapshoot. It may give a little ego boost to those who are traditionally bad at fighting games, but for people who enjoy honing their skills in a game, DoA3 has absolutely nothing to offer.

Other elements of the game are hardly worth mentioning. The sound, replay value and character design are all below average for a fighting game and will give you no reason to return to the title after a few hours of play. In the end, DoA3 is about sex, and no game is remembered as a classic for that reason. I have full confidence that within a few months, some new graphical marvel will arrive on the scene, and the eye candy addicts will soon flock to its corner and sing its praises. It all gets kind of cyclical to an oldschool gamer who's been made cynical by the lack of substance in today's games, and memories of when the games that were truly well-designed and involving were the ones that earned the public's praise.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 03/05/02, Updated 03/05/02