Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance

"You Know You're Old When: People don't know anymore what a Mortal Kombat Uppercut is..."

Not too often does a game come by that inspires me so much to write a review anymore. Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance is such a game to move me.

Graphics: (7/10) They're ok. Simply put, yes, but that's all they are. Simple. After playing Dead or Alive 3, where the FMV cuts are hard to tell from the actual gameplay, this game looks pretty sad. Everyone is making such a deal over the faces changing as you beat them to a pulp, but, I saw that when playing a George Foreman game on the Game Gear. The characters, as in MK4, look very stiff. The backgrounds, again after playing games like DOA3, are unimpressive and also unattractive.

Controls: (9/10) When I push a button, it does what it should. What more can you ask for? Everything else falls under...

Gameplay: (0/10) Wow. That's all I can say. The kind of ''wow'' you say when you encounter an illicit videotape with your teacher on it. Yes, the bad kind. I hadn't heard too much of this game, so when a friend purchased it and asked me to come over, I thought ''Hey, a new Mortal Kombat game. Let's hope it doesn't suck as bad as the last two.'' I was extremely happy to see Sub Zero back. The first thing I did was the freeze, and I ran up to the frozen opponent. ''Duck, highpunch!'' ran through my head. What happened? Sub Zero ducked, and he gave a jab. ''Good heavens,'' I said. ''This must be a controller setting mistake!'' But it wasn't. Unless there's a major button that I'm missing, they've cut out the game-defining uppercut. That's like having Street Fighter without punches AND kicks. Other than that major tidbit, the combos were incredibly annoying (Killer Instinct-esque), the three ''fighting styles'' as presented were very offensive, me knowing Taekwondo and Jeetkundo among wisps of others, and the weapons were, as in the 4th MK, a bad idea.

Story: (?/10) I didn't play this game for the story. Who initially plays a fighting game for the story? I didn't dive into it at all. The absence of Liu Kang, as well as the uppercut, made me throw the game out after less than two hours of gameplay. The thing that did strike me was that Mortal Kombat was always a very dark, evil, gruesome fighting game with people fighting hand to hand to murder eachother. This game has a certain ironic comedy that doesn't sit well with the true gaming fan.

Replay: (1/10) I will never, unless without any other game, play this game again. I honestly hope that the public decides to agree.

Overall: (pi) I round down, ok? So 3 points out of 10. This game is a slap in the face to everyone who's ever enjoyed a fighting game, and not just because everyone else was playing it. You know who you are. You stood in a very short line one day for Street Fighter 2, and then the next week, you had to stand in a very LONG line. But that was ok. Mortal Kombat 1 and 2 presented a different type of fighting game than Street Fighter. Now all it does is present 100% trash. It's not even like a fighting game anymore than Karate was for arcade (two joysticks... remember?). What killed the MK series from the start was the chainlink combos. That became the point of the game, much like the equally terrible and uncelebrated Killer Instinct. This game's stiffness, average graphics, and lack of good execution makes it an allaround bad game. It surprises me none at all to see the people who rate it better than a 5 or 6 use pathetic abbreviations such as ''IMHO'' and most likely in other contexts ''lol'' and ''lmao.'' Goes to show the caliber of people that play this game on a regular basis.

In the end, this game makes me wish that I had attempted to ban Mortal Kombat back in the early 90s with the Soccer Moms. The only thing that makes me smile about this game is the question as to whether or not the ''test your sight'' challenge is presented to the blind character...

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 12/27/02, Updated 02/20/03