Blinx: The Time Sweeper

"Blinx Bites… Blinx Blows… and Blinx Stinx!"

When I first purchased Blinx, I was expecting a good platformer because of all the promising reviews that I had read, and initially it did feel like it was a very good purchase. But then after playing for a while the game’s faults and flaws began to shine through, and my opinion of the game began to tarnish. Instead of thinking that it was a good game, I now rated it marginally below average. But as I progressed towards the end, the more I played, the more I hated this game with a passion. As a matter of fact, I predict that a lot of gamers will experience the following advancement when playing Blinx:

After playing 0 - 2 hours: “It’s a good game!”
After playing 2 - 6 hours: “It’s OK, but it has its flaws”
After playing 6 - 10 hours: “It’s getting kind of annoying and frustrating to be honest”
After playing 10+ hours: “I HATE THIS GAME!”

The following is why:

Gameplay (2/10): Blinx tries to be a revolutionary platformer but falls flat. The concept of incorporating control over time is great, but everything else about the game is bad. I’ll be blunt here. The levels are simply plain and boring. Blinx moves at a very slow pace; something quite bad when each level has a 10-minute time limit. I promise you that there will be many levels where you will run out of time just a few meters away from the finishing goal. Whenever that happens you cannot help but think how stupid it was for the designers to have given the levels a 10-minute time limit when Blinx moves around so slowly. Due to the incorporation of the time constraint, it does not take long before you realize that most levels will be nothing more than a mad dash (at Blinx’ walking speed) towards the finishing line. So you simply can’t take your time and actually enjoy and savour the game when playing Blinx.

OK, so we have boring levels, a slow character and an annoying 10-minute time constraint. What else do we have? Lets talk about the enemies. Most of the enemies are essentially dull. A group of them consists of being nothing more than blobs of polygons (yes, they are literally blobs, but with eyes!). Worse yet is how the designers have abused of the “color-swapping” trick far too much (i.e. taking an existing enemy, yet giving him a different set of colors, and making him more difficult to beat and releasing it as a “new” enemy). For example, the game features a green blob, a yellow blob, a blue blob, a red blob, etc. Also annoying is how the enemies are invincible for 5 seconds whenever you wound them. So you have to attack them, then wait a full 5 seconds (meanwhile the 10 minute time limit keeps ticking), then attack them again, wait for yet another 5 seconds, and repeat as necessary (up to 10 times). Sometimes when you hit an enemy you knock him off the stage, and thus have to backtrack for a while in order to attack them again (you need to kill every enemy in order to pass a level). Even worse than the “normal” enemies are the bosses who are usually invincible for the majority of the time, and are only vulnerable for very brief durations. And yes, even the boss battles have a time limit.

Now, finally (and this takes the cake), Blinx is one of those games that can’t help but feel like it was designed simply for the purpose of frustrating you. For example, it is one of those games where you keep trying to pass an extremely difficult level but you keep dying. But you persist and on your 20th attempt you finally make it to the end and as you’re about to reach the finishing goal, an unforeseeable random event occurs, your character dies, and so you have to start the stage all over again. Yes, this actually does happen in Blinx!

On a positive note, although I haven’t been able to confirm if it is true or not, I have heard that the Platinum Hits version of this game has had the difficulty level reduced.

Graphics: (8/10): The graphics are good, although what they have done with the graphics (i.e. the enemy blobs with different colors) is bad. There are also no framerate problems, although it would be hard to imagine some given Blinx slow speed (I suspect that the programmers deliberately made Blinx move around slowly in order to improve the framerate).

But do NOT let the screen shots and demo mode of this game fool you. The demos often show Blinx running around with the camera at close range looking at either the front or side of Blinx. I admit that these screenshots do make the game look good, but Blinx does not actually play that way. Whenever you play Blinx the camera is always behind and above Blinx and at a distance. So you never get to see the details of Blinx up close.

Audio (1/10): Horrible, horrible music. The best way that I can describe the music is by saying that it is some kind of new-age techno fusion that just sounds really, really bad. Its actually one of the very few games that I’ve played in which I had to turn off the music, because it was simply too annoying to bear. And I’ve been playing games since the original NES! Blinx also features almost no voice audio. The only voice audio that you hear is (I believe) a pseudo-language. Why even bother? What’s the point of having voice audio if all you hear is a sentence along the lines of “Fawooza Bi Roo Zawiinga Solaweevo”. Huh? What in the world are you talking about Prion? That is my point. The language makes NO SENSE so what is the point in having it?

Story (1/10): The story is quite pathetic. Basically a princess is kidnapped, and it is up to you to save her. Worse yet is the fact that the story does not progress whatsoever throughout the game. You start the game, watch the beginning of the story through a cinematic, play through every level, then only at the very end does the story actually continue. There is absolutely NOTHING in between. I haven’t seen something this primitive since Super Mario Brothers 1 on the NES. And even Super Mario Bros had a bit of progression throughout the game “Sorry Mario, but the princess is in another castle!”. Blinx on the other hand has NO updates to the story whatsoever between its start and end.

Replay Value (1/10): Almost no replay value, due to the sheer amount of backtracking that you need to do between each level in order to raise money, collect time crystals, and refill your health. Blinx was actually designed with a lot of required backtracking in mind; so do not think that you will be able to avoid it. Once you finish the game (if you manage to), you’ll probably never want to play it again.

Control (8/10): The controls are actually one of the few things that is good about this game. Good, simple, intuitive controls. However your control over the camera is limited, so there is still room for improvement.

Buy or Rent: The game is now a Platinum Hit, therefore at this point I wouldn’t recommend renting it. Just buy it if you actually want it, but I warn you that there is a very good chance you’ll regret your purchase. I sold my copy 6 months after buying it, which is something that I only do when I know that I’ll NEVER play a game again.

Overall (2/10): A reviewer on a popular gaming web site best summarized Blinx as being a game that you play, not because you love the game, but because you refuse to let the game beat you. It almost becomes this game that you love to hate, and the sole reason you keep playing it is in order to have some closure by finishing it, and thus being able to put it away forever. If that isn’t the most important indication that this is not a good game, then I don’t know how else to convince you that this game does not deserve your money.

Closing Comments:
I admit that I am being a little harsh on Blinx, but it is because I have written this review after having made it to the very end. I believe a lot of people (including game magazines) have reviewed this game after having only put a few hours of gameplay into it, and therefore they have not fully digested Blinx. It is honestly one of those games that starts off at the top, but keeps rolling downwards as you play along. You will probably enjoy Blinx for the first 5 hours, and hate it forever afterwards. Today, almost nobody plays Blinx anymore, and the reason for that is what I have just explained with this review.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 11/24/03