""He's cool, he's fast, he's gonna spin attack a second hole in your ***""

One evening I was out in my garden when I spied a hedgehog scuttling along the driveway. ''Why hello, little fellow!'' I said, offering it a saucer of milk. The hedgehog stole all of my rings before grinding along a nearby telegraph pole into the night. That's right folks, Sonic's back- he's cool, he's fast, he's gonna spin attack a second hole in your ass. This time however, Sonic's brought 11 of his friends along for the ride. The teamplay element of Sonic Heroes has been one of the most controversial decisions to the series since making Tails talk like a little girl- does it take Sonic to the next level, or leave me wishing he was still pixellated and fat like the Mega Drive days?

Strangely enough, Sonic Heroes manages to go further than ever from the classic 2D games while including even more nostalgic moments than before. You'll first pick your team of three heroes- you have a choice of Sonic with no-chuckles Knuckles and Tails, Sonic's evil twin Shadow with Rouge and E-123 Omega, Sonic's wannabe girlfriend Amy Rose with Cream the Rabbit and the awful Big the Cat, or Sonic stalwarts the Chaotix crew. If Chaotix don't ring a bell, that's because they starred in the worst Sonic game ever for the risible 32X. All four have a speed, power and flying character, which you'll have to use to complete the massive stages.

All four also have terrible voice acting. But then, what would Sonic be without speech so bad that it would make Resident Evil blush? Whenever you hear Omega shout ''Charge'' for the umpteenth time in a row, you'll be clawing for the mute button on your TV remote. But hey, it's not all bad. The characters talk to each other during the levels, giving the game a lot more personality than before. Except in the case of Big, who never had a personality to begin with. Music in Sonic Heroes is a disappointing mixed bag, with some superb music (in particular, the outstanding final boss tune) and with some dire choices. Ambient tunes for Frog Forest? What were they thinking?

After choosing your unlikely heroes, you'll be treated to one of Sonic Team's trademark CG cutscenes before the game starts proper. It's here that Sonic Heroes shows similarities with the first Sonic title on Mega Drive- there's no plot to the game, short of ''Eggman's doing something evil. Stop him.'' After having to read through page after page of inaccurate conspiracy theory on the older Sonic Adventure titles, this comes as a welcome surprise. Sonic doesn't need a plot. It doesn't need crap camera angles either, but unfortunately they're back too. Your first memories of Sonic Heroes will be those of joy, because it's so much fun to play. Your next memories will be those of disappointment, when you realise that Sonic Team still haven't fixed the old bugs in the game.

I can recall countless times when Sonic got stuck in a loop and plummeted to his death, crushed by a chasing boulder he couldn't see, electrocuted by an enemy he was meant to be attacking, snagged in the side of a wall and so on. However, Sonic's deadliest enemy in this game isn't one of Eggman's evil contraptions or even a busy main road- it's the camera. The camera in Sonic Heroes works when you're racing through the carefully choreographed levels, but whenever you stop running and looking around... well, you can't look around at all. The camera can rotate around Sonic, but despite this so-called control it always seems to get stuck in a wall. How hard can it possibly be?

This isn't the only thing that hasn't changed in Sonic Heroes- there's still too much falling off things. Frog Forest is a perfect example, being little more than a series of small platforms connected by springs. You're normally on your last life when you bounce across the bottomless void, before running off the edge of a ledge and falling into it. ''Ahhhh!'' says Sonic. ''****!'' I exclaim, throwing my controller to the floor in disgust. To say that Sonic Heroes may cause the odd ''joypad out the window'' moment is a gross understatement.

However, that's not to say that the levels are poorly designed- on the contrary, the imagination of the development team knows no bounds. As Sonic races through ancient ruins, urban metropoli and canyons filled with more rails than Curtains R Us, you won't believe the sheer ingenuity of Sonic Team's level design. Instead of a normal loop, you've got one for each character in a giant knot-like structure. Corkscrews return, neon blue and miles above the flow of traffic. Rails have become less of a means of transport and more of a visual tour-de-force; Sonic and the gang will be encircled by crimson bullet trains, shot at by laser guns when they pass by or merely loop around a web-like maze of steel.

Much to my delight, the much-vaunted and maligned team aspect of Sonic Heroes is superb. Yeah, you heard me. I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who were hoping for a hilarious threesome gag, but if Sonic Heroes does one thing well then this is certainly it. Using Y and B you can switch between characters in an instant- they'll even tell you which character is under your control. Your speed character is just that- suitable for the fast running sections and fancy jumping manoeuvres, they're not used nearly enough. The power character is completely the opposite, tearing through enemies like a Doberman through a pile of meat. Knuckles and Omega use charging moves, which will sometimes see you charge right over the edge of a level. What a shock, you've fallen to your death yet again. The flying characters are used the least, but with good reason- because you can only fly for such a short amount of time, the long flights over massive chasms can be extremely tense. On the later stages, you'll need pixel-perfect timing to survive.

As you zoom through the stages, your characters will ''level up''- but far from Sonic turning into Final Fantasy, your attacks become slightly more powerful. However, certain enemies are so tough that only power characters can destroy them. This limits the flow of the game a little as you're always switching characters. If the team play had been poorly executed, make no mistake in thinking that Sonic Heroes would have been a complete disaster.

But it's not. It's great. Even with the numerous frustrating (or, some might say, unforgivable) flaws, Sonic Heroes is still one of the best platform games to come out recently. This may sound stupid, but if you're not dying then it's hard to find a more enjoyable title. Whenever you smash every robot in a room and rocket out of it by swinging on a nearby pole, it doesn't just feel good, it feels fantastic. If only Sonic Team had bothered to fix the camera angles and made the stages more solid, this could have been a masterpiece.

Sonic Heroes is like a roller coaster- an intensely thrilling rush of a game that's best experienced in short bursts. But even the best roller coasters will make you sick after a while, as is the case of Sonic Heroes. The main game is longer than previous Sonic games, but with each team playing the same stages, Heroes has a distinct lack of variation. It's just as well Sonic Team had the foresight to include multiplayer options- so you can play your friends at the game and experience the joys of a stuttering frame rate. Sonic Heroes runs like a dog in multiplayer, but there's a varied amount of options and levels to choose from. Sonic has never struck me as a game to play with your friends- you're working to beat your fastest times and then boast to your friends. Long after I've tired of playing Sonic Heroes, people will still be trying to beat my best time on Egg Fleet.

In another nod back to the halcyon days of Sonic, the special stages make their long awaited return. The Chaos Emeralds don't pop out of nowhere anymore- this time, you'll have to earn them. Special stages in Sonic Heroes are akin to those of Sonic 2- racing along a massive tube, you have to collect spheres which increase your dash bar. Your ultimate objective is to chase the Chaos Emeralds down the tunnel and catch up to them before you run out of time. It's a brilliant idea. The Special stages are also extremely hard, but worth it. I don't really need to spell out what collecting the Emeralds will earn you, because it's obvious. Sonic Heroes' last level is a truly epic battle and makes all that hard work worthwhile.

You'll also earn rewards for collecting emblems throughout the game, which can be gained by completing levels and bonus missions. Every twenty emblems, you'll unlock a funky new option- most are new modes for the multiplayer game and they get better as the game progresses. If you manage to get an A rank on every level (and if you can, you're much better than me) then you can consider yourself a true Sonic master. You might also want to consider going outside for a while, because you don't get out enough.

Upon conversion to the Xbox, some of the magic of Sonic Heroes has been lost. While it's still a superb looking game by any standard, some textures look a little rough compared to the Gamecube version. There's also some slight slowdown, but there really shouldn't be. The characters all look superb and are well-animated, with some gorgeous lighting effects being displayed. Even the backgrounds look better than the first game did on Dreamcast. I've heard that the Xbox version runs faster in the multiplayer game- but let's be honest here, are you really going to play it that much? If you have a choice of consoles to buy Sonic Heroes on, you're probably better off with the Gamecube version. That said, the Xbox edition is still superb and any flaws are negligible.

Sonic Heroes is both amazing and infuriating. As soon as I begin to fall in love with it, it breaks my heart with one of it's many flaws. It's a game that has divided Sonic fans. They may as well have called it Sonic Marmite. But don't go by what the rumours are saying, unless they are my rumours of course- you owe it to yourself to buy a copy of Sonic Heroes. Then write a threatening letter to Sonic Team and tell them to sort the bloody camera out!

Sonic Boom

-Looks wonderful
-For the most part, great fun to play
-Faster than Fast Mc Fast, winner of last year's Fastest man competition
-Teamplay element doesn't make you want to kill yourself like I expected

A Fat Man in a Sonic Suit

-Guaranteed to frustrate you
-The Xbox port is a little sloppy
-Not enough Sonic
-Voice acting pathetic, music embarrassing

Overall

When Sonic Heroes is good, it's brilliant. When it's bad, you'll throw your controller out the window and cry yourself to sleep. At least, I did. Sonic Heroes is a game that's insanely fast, insanely good looking and a whole lot of fun to play. It's worth a place in anyone's collection. Unless, of course, you're a miserable games-hating ogre.

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 02/11/04