Voodoo Vince

"Please don't do that voodoo that you don't do so well"

For those of you who get my quote, great, for everyone else it comes from an old song from, I believe the 40's, called ''Black Magic'', or at least I think it is from that song. Originally it was ''do do that Voodoo that you do do so well''. It was either that quote, or the following one that I did not think was appropriate but I'll say it anyway. ''Voodoo, Hoodoo, this game is doo doo.'' This was a game that I had been highly anticipating, and with some 30 levels, thought would be a really deep and long game. Then it came out and was said to be merely 10 hours, so I passed. Now the price is down to thirty dollars, so I foolishly gave it a try. It does almost everything wrong, and especially where it really counts, in the game play itself. Stupid game construction, which I will talk about later, just makes a bad game that much more unbearable. To be fair I have only played it for about 2.5 hours, but I do not believe in subjecting myself to any more unbearable torture, and am selling it now. Feel free to disagree, but I will always stand firm by my assessment of this misery called a game.

GRAPHICS: 4/10 There isn't anything really terrible here, it won't make you sick to watch it, but that is hardly a recommendation. The X Box is capable of so much more, think at least ten times what this is delivering. The environments are all rather drab, subdued, washed out; just plain dull. Now I know this is the bayou and there might be a lot of fog and such, but it is also New Orleans, home of the Mardi Gras, so why not at least some areas with vibrant colors. In the second or third level you even enter a costume contest, so there is no excuse for it not to look a whole lot better than it does.

MUSIC/SOUND: 3/10 The one thing this game got right are the sound effects, which fully incorporate the use of Dolby digital 5.1. These are so good, they belong in another game. The music, however, gets a big fat zero. Now I don't like Jazz, at all, but even I know this is bad Jazz. There may be some people that actually like the music in this game, but I doubt any of them would be playing it. As for me, it is akin to that screeching chalk on blackboard, it goes right through me. The voice acting is barely adequate, but for some reason I find Vince to be extremely annoying.

CAMERA/CONTROL: 7/10 As far as these things go, the camera, though not without some problems, is actually pretty good. The controls are easy to get and always responsive; however, it is what is not done that hurts, but I will talk about that in game play.

GAME PLAY: 3/10 The game is based on a construction that mystifies. It is wholly stupid. First of all, you are an inanimate object brought to life by Voodoo powder, and this means that as a Voodoo doll, you can hurt others by hurting yourself and not die. Why then do you need a life bar and extra lives; simply because you can die. It makes no sense. To add insult to injury, this is another fetch quest, but with no purpose. Get enough statues to increase your life meter, get Voodoo icons for powers, get hearts for lives, and get pages so you can try to follow another icon to your reward; all of which are totally unnecessary, and were probably added at the last minute to make the game longer. The Voodoo powers are level specific and can only be used once, but are totally superfluous. What this game needs is an inventory, where you can use whatever power you want when you want, but it really doesn't mater because they all pretty much do the same thing in only slightly different ways. This game invites comparison to the mummy levels in ''Sphinx'', an excellent game you would do well to get, rather than this disaster. Above all else, this game is just plain boring, so much so, that it almost put me to sleep playing it. The game also auto saves, which I find particularly irritating; maybe I don't want to lose all my men while figuring out how to beat the bosses. This is just one more nail in the coffin of this game.

VALUE: 3/10 The game is roughly 10 hours long, going for 100 percent may take 12-15. That is the good news, the bad is that you probably will quit playing forever after 1-2 hours. If you had spent $50 on this game, I really feel for you. If you even spend $20, after reading this, then you must be the one that is born every minute (sucker, that is, since you probably did not get that). Do yourself a favor and rent this game only if you have a rent one get one free coupon, or a 99 cent rental coupon that are about to expire.

FINAL COMMENTS: On my last review, ''Champions of Norrath'', I ended by saying that I could not really find anything to complain about. On this disaster of a game I can only find one thing good to say, the sound was great. You may choose to disagree with me, but at least you would still have to agree on a lot of my major complaints. Here's hoping that the next possible mascot game for X Box, ''Psychonauts'', comes out a thousand times better

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 03/09/04