Crash Twinsanity

" Crazy bandicoot love..."

Crash Twinsanity works much like a long distance relationship; it‘s hard to watch Crash fall into obscurity, but his presence is harder to appreciate than ever before. The series has had its ups and downs over the years, has been copied by an adventuring hedgehog, and has just recently lost all credibility. From what I can tell Crash hasn't exactly aged well-(even though he remains a bright orange, and shows no signs of graying)-there are some licenses that should just be cut off when the original developer is done with them. If a game's creator cannot bring further innovation to a series, it's unlikely that a new developer could do any better. Upon ditching their beloved character, Naught Dog has moved onto bigger and better things (Jak and Daxter!) It's about time Universal Studio's stopped wallowing in another company's semi-successful path and begins production for the next great Barbie game!

From the get-go that conniving Cortex takes up cross-dressing, tricking poor simple-minded Crash into thinking Cortex is Crash's niece. After following the shemale through various obstacles (which serves as a make-shift tutorial to the gameplay) you'll arrive upon the first boss. Every thing seems like it's flowing so far: Cortex tricks our hero, lures him into a trap, takes the hero on as a boss character, sends a mecha-bandicoot on Crash, but then things begin to go sour. Two bird-shaped aliens arrive by some sort of portal (think Stargate) and steal Cortex's brain. After this they hint some sort of treasure which pikes interest into the long-time nemesis of our orange celebrity. Soon Crash and Cortex come to means with each other, accepting that they'll have to work as a team to collect the treasure. Even after Cortex's brain is snatched, he is still intellectually superior to the numb-minded Bandicoot, which I found to be extremely amusing for some reason.

A plethora of unfortunate flaws are spread throughout the adventure. I don't know when developers will learn that in general, gamers don't want their maneuverable camera to be violently forced back on them mid-jump! Having perilous never-ending pits has been over-done, and if you cannot make it so gamers can scale their jumps accurately then leave those out too! When platforming boils down to luck, and nearly-impassible chasms take multiple life's to get your timing just right, you know that production values are mediocre at best. Although the first few moronically simple levels contained a few welcome gameplay twists, it's nothing that we haven't seen before which is where Twinsanity's many issues get a bit out of hand. Most of the action taken between Crash and Cortex is done Wily Coyote style. In one of the beginning levels you'll get into a fistfight with cortex, and while roughing each other up, form a ball which can be maneuvered down a puzzle-filled level Monkey Ball style! What aggravated me most was probably the broken self-save system which never worked!

If anything is going well for Twinsanity it has to be the crisp graphics which are dramatic improvements over previous installments. It could have brought back more nostalgia if everything wasn't so smooth and circular looking. The vibrant colors are sure to produce strain on your eyes after extended play, but well conveys the central tropical theme of the first few levels. The camera is controlled manually, which is great, but at times it will force itself into a fixed position which can make you angry when you're trying to get through an area you've already completed. Retaining the attitude of our character's there are some humorous animations such as Cortex setting Crash on his lap and spanking him, and many other team-related mishaps.

The music is interesting, to say the least. Filled with a number of exotic instruments you'll be wanting to replay missions just for the songs. Other than the strange instruments, the game's also filled with annoying singers crooning out peculiar tunes which aren't expected in most games, but feel right at home in Twinsanity. While the music stands no chance in any award show the renditions of such songs as “Row your boat” are certainly worth listening to. Thankfully the spoken dialogue is above-average. Cortex's voice-actor is a genius, and is genuinely funny as well! Opening up your ears for a few minutes will only confirm the inevitable: Universal Game's has strange designers.

It is too bad that you cannot go back and replay missions in Twinsanity, because at times I found that I was actually having fun. If you can tough-it through some dry cut-scenes (which you have no option of skipping) this game might actually show some life and deliver awesome level designs. It's extremely cool getting to the top of a large-set of platforms, then looking down and seeing everything you've been through! Searching for all the collectables will take you a lot longer than completing the game without them, but honestly I don't think gamers want to search for gems anymore (didn't that die with the N64?) If you just want to play Twinsanity straight-through then you‘ll uncover about 10 hours of gameplay underneath an other-wise dense platformer.

At the end of the day, Crash Twinsanity is just a mediocre, tired platformer long past its hey-day. Luckily for Naughty Dog they had ditched this old bandicoot right after the old dog couldn't learn anymore tricks. I don't see Universal Studios taking Crash Twinsanity in any revolutionary direction, so it's best just to drop the series now. While nothing can be done to renew the spirit within Crash, he's an experienced imitator without followers. I can't recommend Crash Twinsanity as I'm indifferent, buy it if you're desperate for linear, average, platforming action.

6/10

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 10/22/04