"Frikkin' hilarious, and a decent action game too."

And now let's hear a tale of the Bard...

The Bard's Tale may be the funniest game I've ever played (not having played the original Bard's Tale games anyway), and fortunately that is not its only selling point, though it is a big one. The game pokes fun at every adventure game and movie convention that there is, in a rich, witty, sarcastic way that will have you on the floor. The Bard himself is an anti-hero, pursuing only riches, wine and women as his motivation, though not necessarily in that order. He encounters endless verbal abuse from denizens of the game world, and even from his own narrator. The Bard is voiced by Cary Elwes, of Princess Bride fame (I figure that's his most widely recognized role), and the Narrator by the deep-voiced Tony Jay, also known for his work in the Soul Reaver/Legacy of Kain series.

In addition to these stars, all of the voice work in this game is superbly done, and should be the benchmark for other games as we find ourselves in an era when full in-game spoken dialogue is achievable. The game takes place in an approximation of the Scottish Highlands, and the accents are appropriate, as is the character and set design. And while I'm still on dialogue, it's time to bring up another unique selling feature of the game: the 'Nice or Snarky' conversation mechanic. At many points, the Bard has the choice of responding nicely or, well, not so nicely, to the characters he interacts with. Both as necessary at different points to obtain certain outcomes, but other times it's just a matter of personal taste. All choices still lead to hilarity, however.

Okay, so now that those features are out of the way, how about the action part of the game? For regardless of how funny the game is, the vast majority of your time will be spent hacking and slashing your way through various areas. The game plays out from a top-down perspective, meaning that you get a bird's eye view of the action, with the Bard set in the center of the view most of the time. This is a decent approach, but my only problem with it (other than that it obscures the excellent character models, which you otherwise only see in frontal view during cut-scenes) is that the view size is too limited, meaning that you don't see enough of the field at a time. You can zoom in and out a little bit, but not enough to be able to see enemies before they charge you, or objects of interest beyond your very immediate surroundings, making for a lot of walking around large rooms looking for the tiny treasure chest that you hope is in there. To help this matter, there is an area map in one corner (or overlaid over the whole screen if you prefer) that indicates enemies with the infamous red dots, but often this just clutters up the screen even more. So for visuals, my only wish is that you could see a little bit more around you. Other than that, the graphics are adequate. Being a multi-platform game, they're not at the peak of the Xbox's capabilities, but the character models are attractive and highly detailed, and the faces are animated well and synch with the spoken dialogue.

To assist the Bard in his quest, he can summon various magical allies, acquired by learning new songs throughout the game. Depending on his instrument, the Bard can have up to 4 helpers with him at any time, and he's going to need them to survive the endless onslaught of monsters bent on his death. Some of these summons are melee fighters, some ranged fighters, and some healers and other support personnel. Much to-do has been made about the Trap Finder vassal, who runs ahead of you in dungeons and triggers traps to deactivate them, getting caught in them in the process. He's pretty funny, and infinitely useful too. Summoning these creatures requires Mana, which slowly replenishes on its own. Once summoned, each has a certain amount of health, and they dissipate once they take too much damage. But then again, you can just bring them back again. Of course, when you're being pounded by enemies and they're killing your allies faster than you can regain the Mana to re-summon them, things can get hairy. As for your own combative abilities, the Bard can use up to 5 different weapon types (sword, two-handed weapon, sword+dirk, flail, or bow), each with pros and cons. You can also learn special abilities, mostly of the charged-up attack and counter-attack variety, for each weapon type. The Bard also has magical stones at his disposal, used in varying amounts to summon special guardians that are earned throughout the game.

All of this creates for a lot of options in battle, from your weapon type, which upgraded abilities you choose to learn as you level up, what combination of summoned creatures to have with you, and when and which magic icons to use. Each of these choices are made using different button menus, opened with the left and right triggers and the black and white buttons on the Xbox controller. The action continues in real-time when you switch weapons or summon companions, and you are unable to fight momentarily while doing these things, so it creates hazards while you try to get yourself out a mess. All of this makes for moderately challenging battles at times, which can be overcome with care and planning.

The game also features numerous optional areas and secrets. There are a total of 32 summons to find, and a couple dozen stat-boosting tokens. Some areas are opened through having the right conversation with the right person at the right time, others are located by purchasing treasure maps from shopkeepers. The game contains many, many branching paths in dialogue with many different results. All of this adds to the game's replay potential. And speaking of shopkeepers, money and equipment management in this game is extremely well executed. For one thing, stuff is expensive, so if you really want all of the best equipment, be prepared to spend a lot of time earning it. You never have to worry about selling anything, because all treasure and any out-of-date equipment is automatically converted to silver. This frees up valuable time for lots and lots of dungeon hacking and slashing. Sometimes a little too much, though.

Overall, the game is fun. You have a lot of leeway to play the game how you like to. You may find a favorite weapon type and just concentrate on upgrading that one, or you may want to use all of them equally. You have endless variety of choices for which summoned creatures to have with you at any given time. You can choose to pursue the side-quests and optional dungeons, or just plow ahead with the main game. However you play it, the game will keep you busy for some time, easily clocking in at 30+ hours if you do optional areas. The action gameplay is decent, except for the aforementioned minor view issues, but there's a bit too much endless hacking and slashing at times. Nevertheless, the attitude, humor, and polish on this game make it easy to slip into and be absorbed. Whether you're going to play it on the PS2 or Xbox doesn't matter, but this game is definitely worst at least a rental and a few hours of your time. <i.> The Bard's Tale is a welcome addition to a genre that is all too often bland and devoid of personality.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 03/16/05