The Bard's Tale

"Is The Bard's Tale a Story You Really Want to Listen To?"

The Bard's Tale. It has a storied history that began way back on the Commodore 64. Being one of the first RPGs set in a three dimensional perspective, it was applauded by all who played it, and became a classic overnight. As the 90s approached us, though, memories of The Bard's Tale became dimmer and dimmer, and eventually it was forgotten by all but the most hardcore of gamers. The game was not forgotten by all though, and those who remembered it longed for a new tale of the Bard, and so this title was born. Should we be happy this old chestnut was brought out of the attic for a reprise? Or wish that it was left to its former glory as one of the greats of history? Well, you'll see what I think here.

The graphics of The Bard's Tale are nothing special. That's not to say they are bad, they just don't astound the player. Environments are created and rendered rather well, but the top down gameplay view makes it where all you really see (outside of cutscenes) is the tops of your enemies' heads, and treetops. When you do see the enemies (or allies) up close though, you can see that the character models are pretty well detailed, and each distinct in their own fashion. Graphically it will not amaze, but probably not disappoint, either. I give it a 7/10.

In the sound department, once again you will neither be amazed or disappointed, pending you don't go in expecting something great. The sounds are reminiscent of the times, and fit in well. If the song the drunks sing in one of the opening scenes does not get stuck in your head, you may need to check your pulse. Sound effects are nicely done, but there's not too many of them you'll hear throughout the game, so they get old rather quickly. Like I say, the sound for this game isn't gonna make or break this game for you, so it earns a solid 6/10.

The best thing about this game is the writing and voice acting, hands down. The Bard is easily the most self absorbed, selfish, horny game character I've seen in ages. If there is not money to be made, women to be had, or rum to be drank, the Bard wants no part of it. This obviously does not make him a favorite of the villagers and NPCs in the game, and even his own narrator takes every chance he can to verbally berate and cut him down. The Bard also makes fun of his own game, bringing to light played out RPG cliches which rightfully should be open to ridicule. This is a very funny game, but is there gameplay there to back it up?

Sadly, the answer is no. Were this a collection of cutscenes, I would be more than happy to sit through them. However, the gameplay between the cutscenes is almost unbearable. The top down view makes it virtually impossible to fight against all the monsters attacking you. You never know when you're being charged, where the enemies are, or really where you're headed unless you have the map open. This makes for a lot of dying fun. Not being able to really put up a good fight makes this game insanely boring and frustrating, and soon you just don't care whether he dies or not (at least I didn't). If the game were done from a third person perspective, it would most certainly have been a good game, but the top down view single handily kills the experience. On top of that, the allies you summon quickly get old and I got sick of resummoning them because they had been killed by a double team I had no idea was even there. All in all, this is one of the worst gameplay experiences I've had. I give it a poor, but deserved 3/10.

Now I have the trouble of determining an overall score for this title. Do the pros of actually funny humor in a game outweigh the horrible gameplay? Unfortunately not. The crapiness of the battles make it impossible to stay interested in the plot, which is a killer for an RPG. Had they designed this without the top down view, or made the viewing area larger, I could give this game a higher score. Believe me, I really wanted this game to be good. I always love a humorous game, and want them to do well so more like them will be put into the market, but this one just does not cut it. At all. I cannot recommend buying this game, or even really renting it unless you're a diehard Bard fan, or just want to throw a little money away. The Bard's Tale gets a sad 4/10.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 04/03/05